Praise the ass! Hail the asshole!
As Carnival 2010 grinds along with all the female bum bum celebration, I want to stop for a moment for a different acknowledgement of the ass.
These mesmerizing twin mounds of endless delight that envelope an oh so essential porte de poo poo et plaisir. They are at the very base of the spine where our muladhara chakra root connects to Mother Earth and to her physical powers and delights. Our relationship with our ass is directly related to our spiritual relationship to Mother and the earth and this is true both personally and culturally.
The more we detached we have become from Mother the more lower back and ass-related suffering we experience. The less grateful and generous (tight assed) we get; the more stressed out and suspicious we allow ourselves to become and the more we allow shame to govern our lives, the more we traumatize our ass, to the detriment of our health. When you choose to ignore your asshole as something dirty and shameful, you also tend to be out of sync with the functions of your body related to healthy intake of nourishment and expulsion of waste. The way you eat, digest food and expel it, is directly related to how Kundalini Shakti (Mother Earth) energy flows in and out of your system.
Freedom From Anal Retentiveness
For me, my intake of earth’s nourishment was not so much a problem as what happened to it within my body. Feelings of unreservedness and lack of trust prevented me from fully processing that life-giving energy. It also hindered my ability to let go of what I no longer need in my life. Long spells of constipation would be followed by explosive diarrhea when my body became too toxic. This physical reaction mirrored perfectly my emotional state, for I clung desperately to failed relationships, outmoded ways of thinking and tried to avoid all unpleasant confrontations because of failing to trust I would be loved and supported even if I showed my “shitty” side. Then explosive emotional diarrhea would finally force me to react to people and situations in a far less healthy and overly extreme way that would involve far too much drama. My challenge in 2010 is to trust myself and the universe enough to let go and have a gentler natural emotional elimination process to rid my life of waste.
Are you anal retentive about any aspect of your life? Anal retentiveness is not just about cleanliness. Some people are anal retentive about money; how much they spend, what they spend it on and how others relate to them because of it. Some are anal retentive about always being right or perceived as righteous. Are you afraid to speak up and disagree with people because you are so desperate to be liked? That is also anal retentive. Whatever illusion you cling to and whatever form of constipation rules your life you will eventually be forced to let go and let God, or more accurately in this case, Goddess. I guarantee you that much. Is that too bold?
The reason I can guarantee this is because anal retention is based in falsehood and contradicts the natural flow of the universe. Do you really think that somehow you can stand in the way of change? No matter the justification; fear, traditional beliefs or the legacy of class and money, the anal retentive will always lose to the sheer power of the ebb and flow of change. Change is a constant, irrefutable truth of the Universe and truth wins every time! Mother wins every time! Those who fail to recognise this will find themselves in free fall until they at last re-ground in something true.
Those on the losing side fighting against change THEN...
Sometimes this free fall happens in the form of financial loss. In fact, the entire financial crisis is a global purging of outmoded economic philosophies that do not support the health of the planet and its people. Countries will continue to free-fall until they re-ground their systems in something sustainable and supportive of holistic, equal growth.
Sometimes we are forced to acknowledge our root chakra through failed relationships that were based on co-dependence and ownership instead of real, unconditional love that sets a soul free to pursue its destiny. Sometimes our wake-up call is when everything we have complacently accepted as true starts crumbling around us; your religious community or corporate empire fails you or a member of your family, a celebrated hero betrays you or your own hypocrisies are embarrassingly revealed to you. Perhaps the most frequent manifestation of anal retention reprisal is sickness, particularly any kind of illness related to the digestive and elimination system, from heartburn to hemorrhoids.
Mother is constantly trying to free us from what is no longer relevant and what is not real. Conservatism and traditionalism which sacrifices the youth, will of people and new ideas to preserve the outmoded needs of an elite few cannot withstand nature which constantly recycles what is old. What is no longer useful must be expelled and those who cling to old beliefs based on fear more than truth will meet a most unpleasant catharsis. Any institution that positions itself against change will also soon be destroyed for change is as unstoppable as the ocean eroding a shoreline.
The anus deals with waste and we humans have developed a very unhealthy view of anything involving death and decay. We treat these darker aspects of life as less savory and worse, less spiritual, vital and important than the sweet smelling, lighter aspects of our existence. But the Divine is life and death, light and dark, pleasure and pain, sweet and bitter. The root that is our anus is truly reflective of that.
Cultures which acknowledge the destroyer aspect of the Divine as part of natural universal balance and not part of a vengeful or punishing agenda tend to have a more holistic view of the asshole. Even cultures which simply recognize a Feminine element of the Divine also tend to accept the anus as more than just a dirty, unmentionable poop shoot. Their approach to sexuality incorporates this part of the body as one of the many ways to enjoy pleasure and their sexual culture, literature and art is often reflective of this, referring to the anus as the rose bud. The Karma Sutra refers to the recipient of anal sex to be in a state of kinetic bliss. On the other hand, rates of colon cancer and hemorrhoids are highest in Judeo-Christian societies that literally have "a stick up their ass" and are further away from the Feminine Divine and more likely to demonize any kind of anal appreciation.
When most people think of anal sex, they think of prison rape leaving a torn apart, bloody, shit stained asshole. It is a reflection of how much we associate this form of sex with violation, in part because it has often been used in this way, particularly by men on other men. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation either. Straight men rape other straight men all the time, throughout history and today in prisons around the world. In times gone by, tribes or armies conquering other tribes and armies raped the men and young boys as a form of humiliation. Rape is a violent act that has nothing to do with sexual attraction or romantic feelings. A rapist gets off on dominating and humiliating another person, it is the power that makes his dick hard. For men this is particularly so because of how they are wired. Many men find themselves getting erect during a violent argument or even a physical fight. Many couples find that immediately after a vitriolic argument, the man is ready to have sex (sometimes even women get aroused during violent arguments) while the female partner cannot bring herself to be intimate and needs more time to open up again.
Someone with a healthy sexuality, whether gay or straight is naturally turned off if their sexual partner is not in the mood, strongly objects, is crying, screaming, in pain, distress or fearful in any way. A rapist on the other hand, relishes those things. They actually get harder because of it. It is so unfortunate that the moral of the story of Lot in Genesis, whether myth or not, is not presented in a more enlightened way that shows intellect about human sexuality. Instead religious leaders conveniently used the story of Sodom and Gomorrah to play into homophobic rhetoric.
Anyone with basic common sense who reads the account in Genesis 19, can see it describes an attempted gang bang by rapist men and that it has little to do with the men even having a homosexual orientation. In fact, it is more likely the men were straight. The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were described as populous, meaning there were mostly heterosexuals having children there. Besides, Lot tried to distract the violent men by offering his virgin daughters for them to rape instead. Why would he even bother if they were not usually interested in women? The glaringly obvious motivation behind the men wanting to rape is never discussed honestly by religious leaders.
The men of Sodom were intent on teaching the upstart two strangers (apparently angels in disguise) a lesson. You cannot just enter our city without permission and Lot is an alien resident here and has no authority to bring strangers into our city. It was a xenophobic-motivated attack meant to humiliate not one motivated by lust, gay or otherwise. Which is why later on, the gospels relate Jesus referring to Sodom not as homosexual but unfriendly and inhospitable to strangers.
The huge difference between mutually pleasurable, anal intercourse between loving partners and the attempted gang rape descriped in Genesis 19 by men whose motivation was clearly xenophobic and not sexual attraction is glaringly obvious to any intelligent person.
With so much misinformation it is no surprise that anal intercourse whether practiced by men or women, homosexual or heterosexual (and believe it or not, far more heterosexuals practice it than homosexuals), is so contentious. Pagan cultures tolerated or even celebrated anal sex while Abrahamic cultures reviled it. It was reviled as “unclean” for the same reasons uncircumcision was reviled as unclean. It was not conducive to procreation and making the generations as populous as grains of sand. Worse of all, it was associated with base, primal, lower chakra feelings that contradicted the Patriarch God.
For one thing is certainly true about anal sex, it involves (1) Complete letting go and surrender to the primal Mother-based sexual energies (2) the ability to fully appreciate and trust that bliss comes from pleasure and pain interwoven. This kind of acceptance flies in the face of rigidly controlling your passions, emotions and the either/or world view. You cannot get more lower-chakra than that. For the patriarchal socialized male, such a thing was unthinkable, for women, less so. Women know all about surrender, pain and discomfort and riding it through into pleasure beginning with their very first sexual encounter. However, we are also perceived as the lesser gender because we are the receiver when in fact, it takes more strength to do what we do. For a man to be on the receiving end of anal intercourse, he attaches that stigma to himself as well.
The ability to allow someone to enter you at a most intimate, sensitive point, stimulate you and accept it willingly requires acknowledging one’s own feminine aspect. It requires letting go of all control, absolute trust and total relaxation; something many men have been programmed not to do and many are entirely unable to do without drugs.
Greek art depicting anal sex
Whether it is a woman inserting her finger up there or a man inserting his penis, many men feel violated, especially by the latter because it involves allowing someone else to experience pleasure and release inside of your body. Even women feel this way about anal sex despite being accustomed to vaginal penetration. There is just something about anal penetration that is so intimate and visceral it makes one feel like a completely helpless child.
I myself am not entirely a full-fledged aficionado of anal penetration, having my fair share of lower chakra trust issues but my investigation has revealed that it can be, with the right person and right technique the doorway to something mind-blowing. I have researched quite a bit on the subject, experimented as far as my tastes would allow and conversed not only with gay men but straight men who have enjoyed a little or a lot of anal stimulation. My findings are surprising.
First, you should know that there are many kinds of anal stimulation ranging from "vanilla" to "chocolate". On the vanilla end of things, there is external only which involves rimming the rose bud with fingers or tongue; gentle pressure or massage against the opening, taint and perineum. There is shallow anal intercourse where only the outer ring is breeched and insertion is only a few inches. Some men like their head moving in and out of the hole while the grasping, trembling butt cheeks stimulate the shaft. Then there is deep rectal exploration territory, which I find a little extreme and just like deep vaginal penetration, highly unnecessary. The best part of both the vagina and the anus is only about one third of the way in, the rest is a dead area. And just as too deep, violent and frequent vaginal sex can cause cervical bruising and other problems, that goes double for the anus. But to each his own, some people like chocolate.
For those of us who appreciate a subtler more moderate approach, simply adding a little bit of external pressure or vibration to the lower spine, perineum or anal entrance creates an awareness of the base chakra and adds a deeper dimension of sensation during intercourse.
When done correctly the first encounter with actual penetration need not be an overly painful experience. The “blooming” of the rose is a technique experienced lovers are able to do, where the muscle relaxes and willingly accepts penetration. It is also good to know that you do not walk around with feces in your anal canal. This passage is generally clear unless during or immediately after a bowel movement. Gentle cleansing, correct condom and lubrication, is all it takes to make this a two way passage.
Described as the "Mother of all orgasms" by both men and women. A little bit of anal stimulation can awaken the root chakra and lead to bliss that leaves one boneless.
Some men cum simply from feeling that stimulation on their prostate and claim it is the most intense, long lasting orgasm they have ever felt. More and more straight men are requesting a finger or slender vibrating butt plug while being given a blow job by their women. For many it is the closest they will ever come to a “female” orgasm that lasts longer than five seconds. I will never forget the song, “Golden Touch” by a UK roc band Razorlight. At the V Music Festival the lead singer admitted it was about the joys of anal sex given by a woman who knew her stuff. What was truly revealing to me was that though I expected an affinity for anal sex among gay men and some enlightened, uninhibited straight men because of their G-Spot area by the prostate, I was surprised to find that women who enjoy anal sex also relate the depth of the orgasm being something entirely different.
Many women are unaware the clitoris head is just the tip of a pleasure rigged organ with a shaft that extends inward and wraps around the urethral sponge. Gentle pressure at the back entrance or perineum pushes the clitoris outward and presses the urethral sponge from behind. For many women anal stimulation gave them the first ever ejaculatory G spot orgasm they ever had. Doggie style is popular for this reason among women “in the know”, that pressure against the buttocks is simply delightful. A Mother-orgasm is the feeling of root awakening and connectivity that envelopes the entire body. Both men and women testify that you don’t recover from that orgasm for a few hours. It leaves you completely boneless with aftershocks that go on and on.
Just a little nub? Think again! The clitoris is actually a fully formed, large pleasure organ that extends deep inside on either side of the urethral sponge. Anal stimulation activates it from the back and sides leading to a more complete orgasm.
That level of pleasure must be illicit right? I mean, there is just no way, we “sinful”, “underserving” humans should be allowed such bliss. Well, it seems this is exactly what many cultures believed. This kind of sex is just too powerful a sensation and obviously charged with potent Mother energy, it had to be stamped out or at best appropriated by a select few in power. In the process of stamping out pleasure and the Mother we lost our entire mid-section, pelvis, hips, groin, butt to shame, mystery and misinformation.
Arise Ass! Arise!
Now I hate stereotypes just as much as you do, not for the reasons you might expect either. Stereotypes can be rooted in a general truth. Yes, it is true that a disproportionate number of young black men are in prison but this stereotype does not explain why this is so nor does it account for the large numbers who do not fit it and do not have to fit it if they so choose. I am about to use a stereotype very soon to explore the relationship we have had with our derriere, I want to do so with the disclaimer that one should never use a stereotype without also giving the background story.
So here is the stereotype- White people cannot dance.
Now here is the background and explanation. The lack of innate ability to dance among those from an indigenous European background refers specifically to a “particular” form of dance. It involves dance that comes from the power of the drum, the instrument most synonymous with Mother Earth. This lack of coordination when it comes to the drum is not racially based but culturally based. In other words, a person with pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes has just as much ability to wine like Denise Belfon. However chances are because of a certain kind of socialization, they have forgotten how. Even a black person can lose that innate ability as well after generations and generations of indoctrination in a strict, patriarchal-based, prudish religious environment that celebrates Father music only.
Those of us here in the Caribbean who witness tourists comically out of time as they try to physically interpret our drum-based Mother music know what I mean. You almost wonder how they make love if they cannot naturally rotate their hips with fluid, sensual rhythmic timing. It is because they are rhythm deaf, much the same way some people are tone deaf.
We of African and Indian descent of course do not have this cultural problem. We still have a strong connection to Mother and her earth rhythms are still very fresh in our psyches even after colonialism and slavery. Even though the British Empire tried to ban African drums in Trinidad because they were so afraid of its raw, primal, pagan power to incite sexual, spiritual or social uprising. Even though many of our ancestors became Christian, we never forgot our hips, our lower thighs and our ass. We never forgot our root chakra. However we must remember that it has been thousands of years since those of Celtic, Gothic, Frank and Norse ancestry thrust their hips with wild abandon in pagan worship in celebration. Before they conquered us, they were themselves conquered.
The Judeo Christian empire all but stamped out their pagan heritage and almost completely disconnected them from Mother Earth, rendering them unable to move their waists and hips like they once did to raise Mother energy, like our ecstatic religions. For a long time, they stopped dancing altogether, for all dancing was pagan. Music and its use became the sole possession of the Church. The rise of Christianity led to them worshipping sitting down in a staid manner instead of dancing around bonfires and phallic symbols and reaching states of orgasmic bliss.
But the need to pound feet against earth and talk to Mother through movement cannot be denied. Indigenous Europeans continued dancing in private and/or using more ordered variations of pagan folk dances, rife with hidden meaning. Unfortunately though, dancing and having rhythm became something you learned, not something the music naturally “made you do”. You learned the proper posture, the way to lift the head high, keep the spine straight and move only the feet in ordered steps. Hearts raced, faces flushed and more primal longings were hidden under layers of clothes and hips that never moved. Focus shifted to the face, eyes, breasts, neck, arms and away from the pelvis and buttocks. The Mother earthly drums, receded to the background and if used at all delivered only metronomic, marching beats to keep time. Strings and wind instruments took precedence as did melody over rhythm. Sonatas, concertos began to be composed.
Dancing to "Father music"
Dancing to "Mother music"
This was Father music! It was music for the intellect and the heavens. Even today, when I need to think and write, classical music is my choice. However, it creates a kind of unfulfilled tension and unbalanced state if I listen to it for two or three days straight. I feel like I am losing it and need to grab hold of something real, instinctive and more primitive.
A little Mozart is good for the creative mind. A lot can drive you mad.
After being oppressed and re-shaped by the Roman Catholic empire for over two thousand years, the now assimilated Europeans tried to stamp the earth sexuality out of our African and Indian ancestors. But we held strong! Thanks to our stalwartness we were able to re-introduce Europeans to their pelvis, waists and hips and their pagan heritage.
Many who dispised rock n roll in the 50s and 60s, disco in the 70s and 80s and despise hip hop today have underlying racial and religious resentments. The idea of black, white, brown, red, yellow, gay, straight, rich poor gyrating together on a dance floor or head banging is sacrilegious to them.
First we mixed African rhythms with their “orderly” hymns and invented gospel. This gave birth to the blues which spawned jazz and rock n roll. Suddenly, white people were thrusting their hips once more! Next thing, they were integrating dance floors and schools. The evolution of music that reconnected us with Mother contributed more to racial, civil and planetary rights than any other factor. Once you reconnect with Mother, it is only a matter of time before you truly saw that we are all Mother’s children, black, white, red, yellow and everything in between. Even today, in a still highly patriarchal and hierarchical world the drum and bass rhythms continue to be feared for its primal and equal invocation to the souls of all men regardless of class or creed.
The re-introduction of the hips, pelvis and booty courtesy rock n roll, inspired by the African beat that never died in the hearts of the former slaves who birthed a new musical artform.
Whether it is Dave Grohl pounding out a heart stopping drum solo for Queens of The Stone Age or Destra encouraging everyone to wine down to the ground and back up, it is all pagan, Mother-energy worship tunes in disguise to help us remember our midsections and root chakra. This raw sensuality stands in direct opposition to the Judeo-Christian indoctrination we were given. When they say modern music is “devil” music, it is actually the demonized Feminine Divine to which they refer. It is the music that speaks to our hearts and natural instincts which they do not want us to trust. But little do they know; she is winning! She always wins! You cannot stop the ebb and flow of Universal Change. Now, in order to get young people to buy into Christian indoctrination, even traditionalists are forced to appropriate (albeit an anesthetized version) rock and hip hip to inspire any kind of heartfelt devotion.
More of us are re-connecting to our pagan heritage and with it, the ability to move our hips and shake our ass as we awaken Mother energy.
I had the pleasant surprise of attending a wedding of mostly white Trinidadians and witnessing young girls there who could “out passa passa” me any day (see what I said about stereotypes). Mother bless them! It warmed my heart to them totally abandon themselves to the music and summon up such potent female sexual energy in a way their mothers, grandmothers and aunties are still handicapped from religious and social prudery to do. Indeed many of the older white ladies there were thoroughly scandalized to see their granddaughters and nieces dancing like skets from Morvant. Their husbands on the other hand were trying hard to disguise their delight.
"Devil Music"- the term given to any rhythm that incites the lower chakras of lust, passion, desire and the Mother Energy. The power of the drum unites all under Mother earth. This is what the custodians of the patriarchal religions fear the most.
The world is changing. Men are finally growing up and getting rid of their infantile breast fixation. Now that we have explored and exaggerated the mammary glands to the point of ridiculous fake flotation devices, we are ready for something real. The butt, hips and thighs are now quickly becoming the most desired parts of a woman’s body, as far as sexuality goes. It is about time too! For too long our lower and nether regions have been ignored or given cursory appreciation only as far as it pleased a man’s needs.
One step closer to acknowledging the full female sexual being.
Ask any woman and she would much rather have a man sucking on her clit or even rimming her ass than slobbering on her breasts like an overgrown child. Respect for the butt is a small, first step back to recognition of women as complete sexual beings. This augers well for Mother Earth too, for we need to wean ourselves off sucking her tits dry like greedy infants and start appreciating her holistically, not just for what She can give us but for what she recycles out her Divine anus.