The Culture Of Bullying And Persecution Complexes.

The 2012 Survival Kit will continue with an exploration of Fear that hopefully will help us dismiss fake fears and learn how to deal with real ones using the Universal Laws and Spiritual Power-Ups.

While I work on it, I thought I would share a much simpler and related discourse on the whole “Anti-Bullying” movement taking off around the world, particularly in first world countries. Comedians highlight that the discomforts, depression, disorders, even food allergies seem to be first-world nation disorders. Happiness and inner peace seems more attainable by people who are content with far less and still challenged to work hard.

This is not to make light of the true victims of abusive words and actions or those who have suffered isolation, defamation, exclusion and denial of personhood, a fair shot at success and equal human rights. This is about gaining some perspective and strength in an overly sensitive, politically correct world where people’s egos seem even more fragile than egg shells and the very notion of becoming stronger by facing trial by fire seems unfathomable. It seems like if everyone has a low pain threshold. Even people with abundant food, loving family and friends, blossoming careers and easy acceptance within the status quo are somehow being crippled by depression.

So how do you separate what is truly an injurious and inhumane infraction on your person and what is merely the inevitable friction caused by diversity of beliefs, attitudes, levels of enlightenment, maturity and tolerance?

What you need is to find the constant, the true benchmark by which you measure an injurious and inhumane infraction. Of course, everyone’s tolerance levels are different and here lies the challenge! We have to keep our balance as a society. Those whose tolerance levels are too low must learn how to develop some backbone! Those whose tolerance levels are extremely high must learn how to become a little less desensitized.

I once had an impassioned argument with a young, upper class-born, Caribbean female professional now living and working in North America. She grew up in a life of relative ease uncharacteristic for most young women in her island; two parents, lovely home, abundant nourishing food, access to great health care, great school, extracurricular activities, family vacations abroad and her academic goals supported and funded. Though not gay herself (as far as I know) today she gains great satisfaction from immersing herself in contentious, difficult and challenging situations helping gay teenagers cope with rejection and discrimination in her first-world country home.

Commendable work indeed!

What inspires such bravery in more hostile places of the world?

But when I tried to point out that a disadvantaged black person from the ghetto here and/or even in North America has it much harder than some middle-class gay or lesbian in a first world country and probably needs a lot more support, we diverged in opinion…drastically. She was really fired up about how terrible it is for those young homosexuals in the first world and even claimed I did not understand their pain.

Now, she had no idea that she was speaking to a lesbian who came out at fifteen to staunchly religious and intolerant parents, survived depression, suicide attempts and still puts up with far worse abuse, including watching her partner get assaulted twice, while living in the Caribbean with little to no support available and no recourse. Male, angry, frustrated, confounded calls of, “Zami” forms part of the soundtrack to which I go to work, the grocery or movies.

I choose not to tell her about my experiences and those of other Caribbean gays and lesbians who suffer even more than I do.

I could see she was close to tears already and I had no intention of making her feel like her commendable work was worthless because it is not. aAny effort made to help another is a blessed thing. However all that fire, that passion she has for what she does will be exponentially more powerful if motivated by the right principles and guided by clearer perspective.

We all have different tolerance levels for things that are unpleasant or that seem unfair. This is why it is important to look at everything objectively and universally. Only then will the real persecution reveal itself and only then will holistic solutions become apparent.

Perspective is everything.

Perspective is the only thing that empowers us to invest our energies wisely and that includes our anger, effort, ambitions and activism. Sadly, there are many things that get in the way of finding that perspective.

These are:

Nurturing A Subjective Self-Esteem

How is it that a teenage drag queen can proudly strut her stuff through a rough Caribbean neighbourhood, full of homophobic, sexually-insecure men quick to violence, in a country where homosexuality is not only socially frowned upon but illegal? But in a first world country where it is not a crime to be gay and gay culture is supported, celebrated, endorsed and unions are legally recognized another young man’s spirit is utterly demolished by being called “Faggot!”

That young Caribbean man’s self-esteem comes from within and rests on a foundation of inner strength both emotional and spiritual. For this reason, it is unshakable by public opinion or even law. I know of cases where the person simply believes, “I am fabulous! I am proud! I know God loves me so I don’t need your damn approval! I deserve to be able to walk this street as I please just as you do!”

The“In-your-face, objective approach” to self-love, celebration of diversity and individuality has far reaching positive benefits.

Whether the first openly gay person in the workplace to the first black person to try to join the all-white golf club to the first woman to seek Government office or the only atheist who is brave enough to decline participation in an inappropriately imposed religious practice. These are the people who inspire the breakthroughs that lead to greater freedom for us all. We need a lot more individuals, not just gay and lesbian but all people of all creeds, beliefs and cultures whose self-worth is not subject to whether or not they get validation from the system or their social environment.

For this reason, I think the Lady Gaga approach to bullying- “Love yourself! Stand proud! You are beautiful!” is far more empowering than the approach taken by activists who try to police the social environment with cosmetic-only policies that demonize words, symbols, differences of opinion, often devoid of context and unable to address the complexity of human interaction and expression.

They demonize the “N” word regardless. They demonize “Fag” regardless. They demonize all expression of any religious beliefs or non-belief. They demonize all difficult debates.

In the end what this does is create a society of weaklings who never learn how to independently develop that kind of self-esteem possessed by the self-loving, self-affirming drag queen in the homophobic Caribbean who braves the threats and confronts it head on with rebuttal, debate and well-coined defense. That brave soul is doing much more for gay rights than those trying to force society to be palatable. When he responds to:

“Yuh fucking bullerman! Fire bun!”
with...
“Why yuh watching if you doh like?! Don’t make me drag your dirty laundry out for everyone to hear!”

He is showing strength. He is addressing the hatred. He is highlighting the hypocrisy. He actually has the opportunity to influence and possibly change the intolerant person’s mind-set. But when we prevent the intolerant person from even speaking, we let their negativity fester below the surface of polite society, unaddressed just waiting to explode in ways that will certainly be far more calculated and damaging to the intended victim of his hatred.

North American and European society is becoming more obsessed with being palatable than being profound and powerful in our ability to identify truth and justice. It is actually becoming impotent against those who truly seek to impinge on human rights and dignity. All they have to do is now jump on the politically correct train.

"No, we don’t hate gay people. We just hate the sin of homosexuality."

"No, we aren’t setting out trying to hurt gay families. We are just supporting traditional values."

"No, we aren’t racist. We just don’t believe the Government should give special assistance to the poor (mostly black) communities. Why can’t they help themselves? We did! We had no special advantages whatsoever!"

And the persecution complex train…

"People are calling our beliefs bigoted and our viewpoints are being challenged and becoming unpopular in the mainstream media! We are being persecuted!"

"A secular and/or scientific viewpoint is being considered instead of our narrow religious viewpoint. We are being persecuted!"

"The Government and public square is not showing favor to our religious beliefs over other beliefs or non-beliefs. We are being persecuted!"

Only a few voices in the media have the balls to engage in more a penetrating intellectual search for truth instead of playing the politically correct/persecution complex charade where deep, complex issues are settled with dubious sugar-coated sound-bites.

When we give credence to false premises and false hurts we end up becoming impotent at powerful debate in the public square.
Now, if we were to grow some cahones, we would know that the response to someone expressing, “I believe being gay is a sin!” is not, “That is hurtful, bigoted, old-fashioned. SHUT UP!”

Instead, it should be:
“Let’s debate that! Go on! Prove your statement to be absolutely true! If you cannot then society is under no obligation to show any consideration for what is just a subjective religious opinion even if we respect your right to have it and express it. Nor do you have the right to impinge on anyone’s human rights because of your subjective religious opinion. Seeking to do so makes you potentially an enemy of freedom and equality.”

This is the standard that should be demanded of everyone, particularly politicians and religious leaders seeking to influence public policy. This is the level of debate that should be taking place in the media and in schools. This is the kind of exchange that brings society one step closer to gaining some true perspective.


Brilliantly handled! See how local Long Beach residents dealt with the hateful protest of Westboro Baptist Church in their area.

I look at the tragic shooting of Lawrence King by the troubled student Brian Mc Inerney and the way it is being handled in the courts and I just cringe with frustration. In the oversensitive, simplistic, politically correct arena of US Law, what everyone is missing is this: Lawrence King (May He Rest In Peace) was a confident, fulfilled, esteemed and loved child. In his tragically short life, despite being different and sometimes teased for it, despite having difficulties with his home life while growing up, Lawrence discovered through all his tribulations the power of self-expression and was supported with love and tolerance at his school.

At his memorial service, the Rev. Dan Birchfield said, “God knit Larry together and made him wonderfully complex. Larry was a masterpiece.”

I look at Brian Mc Inerney, the perpetrator and all I see is tragedy. Abused, unloved, ignored, insecure and a ticking time-bomb that nobody cared to hear or see. He will be spending most of his life in prison for a crime committed from a place of utmost inner weakness and turmoil at an age when he lacked the wherewithal to deal with such powerfully demoralizing emotions. He will forever be remembered as a hateful monster by most too content with a simplistic world view where the bully is seen as the one with all the power, not as the one in need of the most help.

It is clear to me that the concern, love, attention, paid to Lawrence to boost his self-esteem, even though commendable would have better helped Brian Mc Inerney because Lawrence King was a stronger, happier, more evolved and resilient soul than Brian Mc Inerny. If our approach was a little more balanced, perhaps two lives would have been saved.

The saddest thing is that by labeling all bullies MONSTERS and not delving any deeper, by labeling all the bullied, VICTIMS, particularly when the results are fatal for them and not delve any deeper. It’s as if their death has no meaning, no lesson to teach us to make us more empowered.

Myopic Entitlement

In other words, “I am so special that I exist outside the impact zone of cause and effect.”

WRONG!

The Lady Gaga approach to self-love that I applauded earlier does have its limits. At some point, your ego has to mature enough to accommodate the fact that as thread in the tapestry of the human fabric, you will experience its rippling and stretching.

We all fall prey to this inability to see and make connections between our seemingly exclusive existence, hopes, dreams, expectations and the bigger picture of which we are unavoidably a part. For example:

A European tourist couple comes to a third-world country on vacation. While there, they exist entirely in their own unique universe, hopes, dreams and expectations until they are robbed by a desperate, ghetto dwelling man trying to provide for his family. The European couple is devastated. Their vacation is RUINED! They feel totally victimized and see the entire situation as unfair to THEM. They had nothing to do with what happened to them! How could it possibly be their fault this happened to them! The robber, the third-world island’s law enforcement, government and their economic policies need to take personal responsibility!

And I agree. Every individual in this situation has to take personal responsibility. I just believe that includes the European tourist couple. While they have no control over another individual’s actions, what makes them think that the conditions in that third-world island that fosters an environment that drives desperate criminal acts has zero to do with them and the life they enjoy?

Once you are an active consumer in our capitalist system you are connected to that starving child, African rape victim during militia unrest over precious minerals, homeless indigenous tribe who watched their rainforest decimated. As participants in an unfair and failed system we cannot be exempt from the karmic repercussions however they find us. When they do, we must temper our suffering with some perspective.

If that European couple were to step outside a narrow, subjective viewpoint that only accommodates the supremacy of their hopes, dreams, and expectations it is easy to see that they have deliberately or unwittingly accepted a number of false assumptions. Topmost among those false assumptions is that it is somehow their right to be able to enjoy an uninterrupted lifestyle of luxury in a poor country with desperate people who do not benefit from the tourism industry because of Government corruption, exploitative foreign debt and unfair trade.

How many false assumptions are we nursing that are based on our subjective awareness? Better yet, are we so over-involved in our little universe that we forget the world out there? It seems so.

Do you think that because you are an attractive, educated black woman you are exempt from being approached by less desirable men? Does it overly offend you? Then you need to- GET OVER YOURSLEF!

Do you think that because you have money and gadgets to flaunt it makes you cool and interesting and you get offended when certain people still do not seem impressed by you? Then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF!

Do you think that because you truly believe you’ve found the “true religion” and it has done wonderful things in your life that people must listen, believe and convert whenever you preach to them or else something must be wrong with them? Then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF!

A good exercise is to read the UN Declaration of Human Rights. It helps to put your false assumptions about what you are entitled to on this planet into perspective, set your benchmark for gratitude a lot lower and thus make it more attainable which makes you more empowered to focus on real problems.

Let me tell you, on many occasions I too need to GET OVER MYSELF! I find that if I don’t do it, sure enough, The Universe will provide one hell of an embarrassing or humbling experience to make me realize that as unique and blessed I think I am, I am still part of this crazy, unpredictable thing called life. The stinky vagrant who annoys me with his unwanted attention ends up being the same one helping me off the floor because in my self-involved fuming, I trip and buss my tail.

In fact, I have a major test of everything I claim to believe coming up. An active construction site full of Caribbean men from the poorer districts is going up right in front of my home. I know from expereince that within those environments, men are raised to gape, soot and throw lewd comments to assert themselves when they see women, even if and especially if it is obvious the female victim would not ever be interested. I know from experience that a woman who looks like me (black with dreadlocks) that lives in an upscale neighborhood is going to be of particular interest and then particular affront to that particular brand of black, male ego when I show no interest in the cat-calls. Sharing a house with my white, female life-partner isn't going to help either.

I am not thin-skinned. I am not even afraid to the point of wanting to move. I have the knowledge. I have the spiritual foundation. I am not looking at the situation with myopic entitlement. I see the struggle and hardship those men face. I see their Masculine/Feminine imbalance. I see how much Lack and Fear drives the actions of men who harang women relentlessly and/or are homophobic and feel deep insult by lesbians or interracial relationships.

But when I come face to face with it, will I be able to maintain inner peace, self-confidence, freedom and a deep sense of security rooted in my inner strength? Can I forgive and turn the other cheek?

Well, I'll keep you posted on that one.

Meanwhile I take comfort in Ras Shorty I, our beloved Trinidadian Soca Music pioneer who recommended that when you are overly frustrated, overly angry that is the time to surrender and just breathe and sing the mantra,
“Om, Shanti, Om”, let it go!

You will feel happier and feel a lot less bullied by the world.

2012 Survival Kit- Masculine Feminine Imbalance- Getting Back Into Balance

We've come to the conclusion of this part of the Survival Series The African community and Diaspora are perhaps the most powerful example of what happens when you deliberately tamper with the Masculine/Feminine Balance of an entire group of people to suit the needs of conquest.

Today, the challenges (control, distrust, emotional immaturity, mercenary arrangements, lack of communication, sexual dishonesty, low self-esteem, over-dependency) that plague male-female relationships in the African/Diaspora community, yes the same ones comedians like Chris Rock, Dave Chapelle and Rachel Price cleverly highlight through humour, are like a concentrated version of the imbalance that permeates everywhere else in all other cultures and creeds.

The dysfunctional black relationship has been well explored. The factors that contribute to it, less so.

We've suffered a legacy of shame, exploitation and domination manifested as genital mutilation, forcible breeding, ripping families apart, systematic male disempowerment, systematic female dehumanization, sex-slavery and rape, systematic religious and social indoctrination in deep hatred for bodies, indigenous spirituality and sexuality. We experienced the ripping away of The Mother/Divine Feminine from our lives losing our connection to Yemanja, Oshun, Mwai Lisi and also in even more visceral ways- taking land, resources, crops, personhood right under our feet.

The imposition of Arabic and European standards of human sexuality, female beauty & virtue had disastrous consequences on the African continent. Tribes with accepting attitudes towards non-procreative and/or pre-marital sexual activities, homosexuality, polygamy, matrilineal land ownership, female shamanism reaped a world of dysfunction and disease trying to implement foreign standards.

Our societies are still slow to accept the counter-arguments against patriarchal oppression, particularly in the deeply Christian Caribbean. Black men still try to measure success and self-worth by how well they emulate colonial patriarchal ideals of dominion over the female and black women are trying to gain security and status like colonial women do by acquisition of a Daddy/Master/Provider.

Even when we try to reclaim African heritage, we continue to rate our level of self-fulfillment and gender expression based on a system that never accepted us as human in the first place. For this reason, true love, spiritual enlightenment continues to elude many of us and we continue to cannibalize one another.


The destruction of the Alpha/Divine Feminine is discussed in this lecture given by Eve Ensler, who actually gives it the nickname, “Girl” and elaborates on how we (men and women) have all destroyed the “Girl” and the consequences of doing so. Her accounts of what is happening in Africa are heartwrenching.

Now, in no way shape or form am I saying that the indigenous sexuality and gender relations in various African cultures were idyllic, perfectly enlightened and balanced before colonial occupation and the slave trade.

The ugly, less popular truth that indigenous culture apologists overlook is that imbalance already existed within African, Indian, Native American, Aboriginal and pagan European societies. If there were no weakness, our ancestors would have been far too powerful for the even more imbalanced Judeo-Christian/Abrahamic colonial powers to conquer. That is the how powerful Ishvara (The Divine State of Perfect Balance Between Masculine and Feminine) can be.

When colonialists encountered the “Barbarian ” and “New” worlds, they found that our forefathers were already infected with false pride, greed and racism/tribalism. It was easy to make this sales pitch, “Forget Mother Goddess and you will become a God like we are! Your enemies will not be able to hurt you. Your women will not be able to hold you accountable. Our religion will teach you how. Our system will teach you how.”

The ugly less popular truth is that many tribes were already losing The Mother and distracted with war and conquest and easily pitted against each other by European and Arabic powers, far more experienced in strategies of war and conquest. What made Islam, Christianity and its accompanying economic power structure particularly actually attractive to our ancestral male tribal chiefs was the military might and technology of the colonial powers gained by eliminating the check and balance of having to answer to Mother.

Colonialism was basically seasoned tyrants empowering young and upcoming tyrants to reject their Mother and once they did, they were betrayed and mired in testosterone-fuelled pissing contests. And it just so happened that the European and Arabic tyrants were more brilliant at pissing contests. But not because of innate racial or cultural superiority as often claimed by religious bigots, racists or Manifest Destiny apologists.

The seeming victory of European/Christian and Arab/Muslim colonialists had everything to do their systems of economy and governance strongly focused on over-hunting, over-harvesting and hoarding as well as an unfathomable hunger for power. Coming from the harsh wintery and/or desert plagued parts of the world, European and Middle Eastern cultures had to push harder against nature in order to survive. They suffered lack of food, warmth, sunlight, water for months. This drove the innovation of technology for conquest of nature (both land and human) by sheer necessity.

The best conquerors over Mother Earth (including her people) gained not just survival but eventually, power. Unfortunately, some used this to oppress others and institute a class system, with the upper class, becoming like vampires feeding off powerless serfs and gaining a perverted amount of power. This resulted in the envious serfs developing an unquenchable thirst to be part of the vampire class.

This vampirism also manifested in pockets in the “New World”. Caribs committed genocide against Arawaks. The Aztecs captured other tribes and literally built their empires on their blood and bones. African tribes clashed in bloodly, gut-curdling battles. Different Asian clans had spats, millennia old. The only difference is that it was far more contained, again, not because of Native Indians, Africans and South Pacific peoples being innately more compassionate than Europeans and Arabs but because they were also products of their geography.

Unlike the flatter, less obtrusive Eurasian Continent, Mediterranean, Northern Africa and Middle East which allowed the conquest and hoarding to spread, Equatorial Africa, Southern Asia, South and Central America and all the various islands had daunting geographical barriers to large-scale military invasive action.

Even Alexander The Great could not contend with rainforest, deep green gorges and sudden mountains, mile-wide rivers swollen with monsoon rains, mosquitoes and guerilla-style warfare.

There was also less of a culture of hoarding, not because these so called, “primitive” societies were less ambitious, lazy or less intelligent but because they had no geographical/cultural reason to do such things. They lived in abundant parts of the planet with year-round sunshine, lush, green forest with all its bounty, rivers and seas teaming with fish. Anything that was not consumed would rapidly rot in the hot, humid climate.

What was deemed “primitive”, "lazy" or "unlearned" was basically a common-sense, Mother-Earth Balanced, approach to survival. Travel light, take only what you need and what Mother will provide.

This balanced interdependence resulted in a spirituality where and man was not seen as higher than nature and therefore imbued with the right to absolute dominion over it. It developed a different value system about self-fulfillment as illustrated in the story below.

“And then what?”

A Wall Street Executive on vacation alighted from a luxury cruise line that just made port in a sleepy Mexican village, where fishing has been part of the culture since the time of the Mayans. It is mid-afternoon as he walks along the beach and sees a group of fishermen having a siesta under the palm trees.

“Man! That looks like the life!” he cannot help but exclaim.
“Si señor! Life is good!” says one of the fishermen.
“So are you done working for the day?” asks the Wall Street executive incredulously.
“Si señor! We get up at the crack of dawn, take the boats out. Come back mid-morning with fish, prawns, lobster for the village. Then we repair nets and then we siesta. Later we will eat a nice meal from our catch, drink tequila, play music, play cards with our amigos, enjoy family, make love to our women and sleep. Get up do it again,”

“But! You guys! You have no idea what you have here! The potential!” says the Wall Street executive, “This whole operation! It could be so much bigger if you just have some vision! Some ambition!”
The fisherman, laughs and decides to indulge the American.
“Tell me señor, what is your vision?”
“Well,” begins the Wall Street Executive, happy to share his expertise, “Instead of fishing for just four hours a day. Why not fish for eight hours! Catch more fish! Sell more fish! Make more money!”
“And then what?”
“Well, then you can buy some more boats and hire more people to fish and make more money,”
“And then what?”
“Well, you can form a fishing company, exporting fish all over the world and if it gets big enough, you can trade it on Wall Street and make millions! Billions even!” the Executive shares getting increasingly excited.
“And then what?” asks the fisherman
“Then you can retire and just relax and enjoy life and fish because you enjoy it,”
“But señor, that is what I am doing right now…with a lot less stress, less damage to the ocean and more time to spend with my woman and children. Enjoy your vacation.”

The European and Arabic colonialists saw indigenous peoples as primitive, lazy, lacking ambition and therefore undeserving of their beautiful land and ripe for plundering. “If you don’t want it! If you aren’t using it to get POWER to get MORE to get POWER to get MORE! Then by all means let ME take it!”

The rest is history.

Patriarchy’s Omega focus is not inherently evil, just as the male sex drive is not inherently evil. There must be some level of penetration and destruction for creative and innovative enterprise to be. However, the Capitalism/Colonialism Apologists who argue that their systems are superior to Communal/Naturist ones are seriously mistaken.

The survival instinct that drove Patriarchal over-hunting, over-harvesting and hoarding may have been valid at some time when we were at the mercy of wild animals, starvation, thirst and unfamiliar/unpredictable Mother Nature. But when we do not evolve spiritually as we evolve technologically, these seemingly valid feelings of lack and fear become falsehoods and lead to dysfunction.

We are still in “hoarding-mode” when there is no need for it.

The problem is not penetrating and impregnating Mother Nature. It is doing so against her will and not giving Her enough respect to allow this process to be done as She chooses so she can also maintain her balance. They don’t call it raping Mother Earth for nothing. Sure at first it feels like victory, just like dominating a woman feels like victory. But the truth is that there is not a predator alive that circumvent Mother’s bitch-slap of “No! I do not want that!” otherwise known as bio-feedback.

Everything about the way our planet is responding is just like how a woman responds when she is repeatedly humiliated, used and abused. At first she seems beaten down but there is a turning point when victim becomes avenger, prey becomes predator.

In order to regain the balance which creates the power that sustains Life, Mother Nature, will go as far as to do a kamakazi. Mother is life AND death. Mother can be re-born. She’s taken on comets, global melt-downs and ice-ages….and Life always returns because the ingredients for Life are within every spec of star-dust in the Universe. There is no Yang without the Yin. The superiority of Western, Judeo/Christian/Abrahamic cultures is just an illusion and not worth defending at the expense of human rights and the planet’s health. If we are survive another generation on this planet we must learn how to rebalance, starting with ourselves by tackling the False Fears and Lack still driving our actions.
So let’s do that now, shall we?

FALSE FEAR OF “LOSS”/REJECTION

WHY IS IT FALSE?
It ignores/forgets the Universal Law of Attraction, Consequence, Infinity, Eternity, Momentum.

UNBALANCED RESULT:
(Active) Domination, possessiveness, jealousy, envy (Passive) apathy, powerlessness, self-pity, guilt

SURVIVAL KIT SPIRITUAL POWER UPS:
From Christ to Buddha, spiritual teachers have tried to help us unmask the illusion of “Ownership” and get it through our head that we brought nothing into this world neither can we take anything out. Every individual is on their OWN journey and has their OWN relationship with The Divine/Universe which has ultimate dominion. Therefore dominion over another is an illusion. We reap exactly what we sow and when we cannot circumvent this Universal Law, without bringing suffering to ourselves and others.

Re-balancing Your Ambitions/Ego(Men & Women)

Affirmation
“I am a child of the Universe. I accept that the Law of Attraction is active in my life. There is no need for me to steal, force or try to hasten the timing, quantity or quality of what I receive thereby creating imbalance and suffering in the world. I attract to me things and people in perfect balance. I become stronger in my ability to do this and feel strong, content and well esteemed. My success is real because it is based on real benchmarks of- self-mastery, selflessness, self-esteem, self-sufficiency.”

Challenges
• Go without your material possessions, food, status and see if still feel good about who you are and know who you are.
• Rejoice in another’s success without feeling jealous, competitive.
• Invest in the planet in whatever way you can.

Re-balancing Your Sexual Attractions/Love (Men)

Affirmation
“My inner Yin soul thrives on unconditional love. I need my soul-mate/love/spouse/friend to love me for real. I do not need to seek emotional security through dishonest, disrespectful, inhumane, mercenary or domineering means. When someone gives me their love freely from a place of strength it makes me stronger.”

Challenges
• Set the one you love and desire free and see if they will decide to love you without you trying to influence or destroy their freewill.
• Seek love/friendship without using pea-cockery or presenting your status as a sales pitch.
• Lose or limit your involvement with people in your life who do not love you unconditionally.
• Give love/friendship to at least one person without wanting anything back in return.

Re-balancing Your Sexual Attractions/Love (Women)

Affirmation
“My inner Yang soul thrives on freedom. I want my soul-mate/love/spouse/friend to allow me my self-actualization. I do not need to seek emotional security through being subservient, using my sexuality or being dishonest about how smart I am or squashing my strong opinions or dreams. I want someone who appreciates my strength.”

Challenges
• Embrace your intellect, ambition, power and freedom and see if the one you love will continue to love you without you trying to dominate you.
• Seek love/friendship without using any games, hiding your personality, intelligence or power
• Lose or limit your involvement with people in your life who do not love you unconditionally.
• Give love/friendship to at least one person without wanting anything back in return.

Re-balancing Your Spirituality (Men & Women)

Affirmation
“The Divine is both Male and Female. Great Mother, I know now I am not a Motherless child. You are alive! You are active in my life! I will no longer ignore You. I will seek You out. Please reveal yourself to me. I will be open to Your signs. I will honor You with equal fervor as I honor Your Male Counterpart. I will show gratitude for Your blessings.”

Remember your Mother. She is there under the surface of many "God-only" traditions.

Challenges
• Expand your spiritual knowledge and reclaim The Goddess. Find out who, why, how She was forgotten and destroyed and honor Her once more in whatever capacity you can.
• (For men) See the women in your life as having spiritual power in their own right and respect their words of healing, wisdom, power.
• (For women) Take up your rightful spiritual place alongside your brothers. You have spiritual power and wisdom. Use it!

The False Fear of Loss/Rejection is not the only one that causes us to go out of balance. In the next 2012 Survival Kit we will explore Fear in its entirety.

It is my hope that after the Fear Essays we will be ready to take on the challenges the future will present as the old system collapses around us and we are called to fight fearlessly (to the death if necessary) for truth, justice, equality and true freedom.

Survival Kit 2012- Masculine Feminine Imbalance- Patriarchy’s Phobias, Isms and Schisms

If you read the first essay you know now that when I attack patriarchy I am not attacking its inherently good values but the ills that stem from an unbalanced, skewed version of it. Make no mistake a skewed version of matriarchy would be just as bad. Unlike many feminists, the ideal for me is not a “Women Rule The World” scenario like the Beyoncé video, but one where there is balance. The longstanding oppression of women is no excuse for us repaying in kind when we are given power.

Men are also victims of unbalanced Patriarchy and the solution is not unbalanced Matriarchy.

Most importantly, when I attack lopsided patriarchy I am also not attacking men. Remember that men are also the victims of viral patriarchy just as much and perhaps even more than women. Remember that we all have masculine and feminine within us and need both sides celebrated, recognized, expressed in order to be healthy. Stamping out the feminine in men has hurt them severely just as oppressing the masculinity in women has hurt us.

So relax!

If you are a man reading this and are tired of bitter, male-bashing women in your professional life or the important female in your life who is currently making you miserable with all manner of desperate emotional, sexual and psychological attack and control please take a deep breath and put aside your hurting and personal issues.

It is very hard for men dealing with being at the mercy of a woman's dysfunctions and demands to support anything remotely feminist. The values of the patriarchy often gives them their only shred of self-esteem.

I know you men have it hard, though you try to hide it. I know you are very fragile emotional creatures under all that machismo. Worst of all you are ashamed of your inner vulnerability. Thanks to lifelong socialization within this system, you think the only respectable way of easing the pressure on the emotional valve is through drugs, abusing others or suicide. Certainly not relying on another, admitting weakness and allowing someone to nurture you. That's only for “sissy boys”.


Do not be surprised that is it so hard to admit that there is indeed a vulnerable person within you (your Divine Feminine, Yin Element) without feeling intense shame. Shame after all is the primary weapon of choice by the skewed patriarchal system. Shame makes us go out of equilibrium with the original Divine Masculine and Feminine that was perfectly balanced in us when we were born.

Breathe. This blog is neutral ground, a safe space.
So, what essentially is at the heart of warped patriarchy? First...

Different But Equal

When you argue with someone who happens to be passionately defensive of the patriarchal status quo they ultimately point to the fact that men deserve to be large and in charge because they are bigger, stronger and even smarter. They will point to the great feats of architecture, technology and conquest and claim they were spearheaded and achieved not by women but by men.

And any man who argues this is right…but only partially.

There has been an overemphasis and celebration only of certain male attributes, skills and professions deemed most important to exploitative empire building by the unchecked patriarchal system which has never been about preserving our planet, protecting the human rights of our people and ensuring all are provided for.

The average man is pound for pound brawnier than the average woman. Their societal gender indoctrination has helped them to be better analysts, innovators, movers and shakers in the subjects and skills deemed most useful to trade, industry and exploitative empire building.

Women on the other hand are smaller in mass. Our biological and hormonal make-up makes us more intuitive and extremely resourceful and detailed practitioners of whatever skill or knowledge we are allowed to learn. But remember that for a long time we were allowed to learn very little. In fact in some parts of the world, it is still dangerous for a girl to go to school. For a long time, the only thing we were prized for was our ability to please a man, incubate “his” babies, nurse them and do household duties.

Now, there is nothing wrong with any of these things in of themselves when chosen freely by a woman who wants and loves such duties. However, they are not the extent of a women’s full human potential and not all women past and present if given a choice and enabled from young to see limitless possibilities would willingly choose that role as their only function in life. Men, imagine if your ONLY role as a man was limited to just rutting, inseminating and protecting harems of females. Imagine if that was considered to be the full extent of your value and human potential. See how demeaning that is?

Our soul calling and our sexuality is far more complex than which pole goes in which hole to make babies. Men and women have the need to dream, create, think, express, lead, explore, learn and contribute in other ways.

In their marriage ceremony, the Archbishop of Canterbury put at the very top of the priorities of HRH Prince William and Kate's marriage, not love, not soul perfection, but creating children. Her Highness is expected to service the British Empire by producing an heir and a spare or else. From the poorest woman in a rural village to the Princess of England, a woman’s ability to conceive has been treated as her most important duty.

There was a time women fought and hunted right alongside our fathers, brothers, husbands and lovers and physical strength was prized in the female as a benefit to the entire tribe. A weak, prissy, little delicate lady in need of constant protection would have been a tremendous burden in a world of harsh survival. There is no way the human race came this far if women could not hold their own, create tools, explore and experiment with new herbs, protect her young and find food and shelter.

Cavewoman nookie was not as easy to get by force as it is often portrayed.

Prehistoric women had not yet been "tamed" into helpless, demure little ladies so they could also fight back violently if they were not interested in male sexual advances. Her sexual preferences had to be at least respected because rape was not an easy resort to take. It could cost a man his eye or worse.

Patriarchy- The Answer To Female Rejection

Unbalanced patriarchy exploits a natural, primal, evolutionary Omega constant- the fittest will survive.

However, it ignores the natural Alpha check and balance which is “ladies choice.”

Patriarchy is a war with the role of female choice in natural selection. whether that female is woman or Mother Earth.

Early man saw Mother Nature playing before his eyes in the animal kingdom. He saw the rut, the hunt and what happened to males that did not measure up. It was brutal. The males had to be strong hunters, strong sportsmen and spar for the female's affection. Victors got to pass on their genes. Losers got to die off. Even after conception, a mother who was not satisfied her offspring was viable enough would eat it or abandon it to die, his daddy be damned.

Nature was our first teacher but in the application, men and women discovered that they were far more complex beings. Our relationships were not as rudimentary as two males clash, victor gets guaranteed pussy and she bears him all his babies. In fact, biologists are now finding out that it was never even as clear cut as that in the animal kingdom either. Furthermore, unlike the animals, humans have far-reaching, stronger emotional and spiritual needs.

Early man discovered that he actually preferred to be loved, accepted, embraced and desired by the woman he desired. He wanted her love him freely. He wanted her to love the children he sired and delight in nursing them. That is the Yin Consciousness within him, the Divine Feminine, vulnerable, emotional, sensitive and just side of a man. He discovered that although his physical strength meant he could force sex, he could not force a woman to desire, love and respect him or love the children he helped conceive.

Not even the richest most powerful man in the world can force a woman to love him as captured beautifully in The Song of Solomon.

As for women, they discovered that a man’s physical prowess alone was not enough, even if it might excite them during their most fertile time of the month. They did not feel as enamored with muscles and uncompromisingly insistent dick outside that fertile window. Neither did they want to be ruled over or dominated because within their smaller skulls was an extremely dynamic, intuitive brain.

Good genetic stock and high penile performance during ovulation, YES. But for the rest of the month, brain power, nurturing, communication are far more important to women.

From the Lady McBeths to the Hillary Clintons, that inner male Yang Consciousness within all women is extremely shrewd. It is said that it is better to have a ruthless man after you than a ruthless woman. Throughout history, women have plotted, schemed and delivered brilliant bedside assistance to men in their political manipulations from king’s courts to boardrooms. They were the ghost-writers of many volumes of wisdom. They were the innovators and inventors of herbal medicines and many tools.

It was not enough for the man to just flaunt his muscles, win contests of strength or dominate sexually, he had to seduce our detailed, observant, ambitious Yang Consciousness as well. This trait of ours helped to save many men who were not necessarily the physical alpha of the pack or had lost their appeal due to old age, injury or sickness. They could still win the undying love of many women just by mastering the art of appealing to her Divine Masculine mind.

How? Through humor, cleverness and creativity.

The art of seduction and masterful use of language and music could make a woman drop her prehistoric panties. Men who bothered to master these things became shrewder. It was iron sharpening iron in every sense and they passed down these smarts to their offspring even if they could not always pass down the best physical features.

Wisdom was once a trait most prized in women. The ultimate Divine archetype of knowledge is almost always represented by a female Diety- Sophia, Shakti, Athena and The Muses, Anansi

The genetic line between beauty and brains began to be drawn.

We must thank the prehistoric ugly and wimpy men who could not compete with the handsome, brawny jocks. They along with their women gave us culture and politics. Puny men and women innovated ways to compensate for the brute strength they both lacked- the wheel, the lever, the pulley, better long distance weapons, better hunting and gathering strategies, problem solving, craftsmanship, artistry and so agriculture and commerce were invented.

Innovating the use of and teaching of how to use tools has been observed primarily among the females and lesser males among the smartest mammals.

Even though men and women had more criteria to judge suitability which now included entirely new things like education, wealth and political power, the core issue still had not been resolved.

Insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness were still serious challenges, particularly for men (attractive and not) who had not learned how to master the art of winning a woman’s love and wooing her Masculine mind.

Some men decided that if they could not get real love, they would settle for a Stockholm Syndrome kind of devotion. They discovered that after enough abuse, loss of identity, harassment, confinement, powerlessness, a woman could be broken down.

To this day there are some men who only know how to deal with women this way because that is how they were taught by their fathers, religious leaders, society. Tear the female down utterly and then reassemble her as a faithful slave. Volumes have been written in almost every culture on how a man can dominate a woman until she cracks and he can then “manage” her as if she were a child or livestock.

Many men make a very good effort not to resort to this but sometimes all it takes is the slightest bit of rejection or resistance for the fragile male ego to hurt so much, they step right back into their father’s shoes.

Patriarchy- The Dominion Enabler

The growing innovation, commerce and agriculture made human populations settle, multiply, quickly use up land and spread out even more. Tribes began to come into conflict with one another because of competition for the best land. The time of empires and wars had arrived. Patriarchy took on a whole new role.

Now it was about more than just protection against female rejection, it would also help to ensure that clans, tribes, nations were populous enough to supply large, strong armies and bounce back faster after a military decimation or overcome oppressive colonialism through a population explosion. How? Place women in a position where they did nothing else but breed and tend a nursery of children who would become future soldiers for the empire. This was her primary duty until she died or her fertile years were over or her husband/master lost all desire, whichever came first.

Patriarchal polygamy began to be practiced.

The power of female selectivity, sexuality, reproductive choice and her sharp Divine Masculine mind are anathema to empire-building.

How do you turn strong, smart, sexually selective women into desperately dependent breed mares? You cut off all their power- their sexual power (FGM), power of choice (arranged marriage), power of intellect (denial of education, exclusion from decision making), physical power (exclusion from hunting, warrior activities, overprotecting, fattening, cloistering, encumbering her movement), financial power (denying her enterprise, inheritance or ownership of property), reproductive power (killing midwives who supplied contraceptive and abortive herbal potions) and last but not least her spiritual power (destroying the Goddess, denouncing the role of priestess, witch, wise woman and placing the female on the lowest rank of Divine hierarchy (see the Apostle Paul) so she could not ever claim to have Divine authority.)

Humans have always been polyarmorous with monogamy being the exception not the norm. Both heterosexual men and women are driven biologically to diversify their reproductive encounters. Men feel the urge to sow their seed among many women. Women feel the urge to always select the fittest male during her fertile window. This is what Mother Nature wants! However, Patriarchy is all about circumventing Mother Nature to protect male ego.

The always ready, willing and affectionate prostitute became a necessity for men whose inner Yin still needed to feel loved, desired and know their bodies and sex is being enjoyed by the woman. They could not get that from their wives as marriages were now arranged and women were just doing "their duty".

When women became breed mares, they became commodities to be passed unspoilt from father to husband, often with no choice in the matter. It also became important to ensure she only conceived offspring to her husband (more on why later)even though naturally, she felt desires for other men and sometimes that did not include the man she was forced to marry. Men of course, could continue to pursue their happy seed sowing as exceptions were ALWAYS made for their libido, either take additional wives or visit a prostitute.

It was not just women who were harmed by this but men as well. Now that women were commodities and slaves, male/female relationships became more calculated, deceptive and mercenary. Remember that men need to know and feel genuinely loved and desired. In fact, in civilizations that institutionalized prostitution for social or religious reasons, prostitutes were trained in the art of making men feel exactly that way. It became a precious kind of skill in a world of arranged marriages, females merely doing their “duty” and men no longer interested in or needing the art of pleasing a woman as he could just buy one.

In the new system ALL men were required to be soldiers ever ready to defend and expand the wealth and sovereignty of their lord, king, raja, sheik and the religious hierarchy that kept everyone in their place. Just read the Old Testament and you will see that the most barbaric ways were employed if necessary.

The Yin Consciousness inside of all men is anathema to the hard hearted, unjust, cruel empire building which requires them to seize land, kill children and oppress people ultimately for the enrichment of a few high ranking families.

In many ways, men suffered more because unbalanced patriarchy dealt them a double blow:
- Over-protection of an ego made increasingly overinflated and yet fragile when it comes to self-image, sexual appeal and sexual rejection.
- Hardening of the heart, dulling of the conscience, allowing something as powerful as testosterone to go into overdrive.
- No healthy and healing outlet for their emotional pain as a result because emotion was considered feminine and therefore weak.

The Aftermath

We know all about the horror stories of female oppression, so I want to focus instead on what damage was done to the men. Starting with:

Feeling Abandoned By Divine Mother

Have you ever met a man who grew up without the love of a human mother figure? They latch on to any woman who makes them feel safe with a kind of possessive desperation. The reverse happens to women who grew up without any father figure. Well imagine growing up without your Divine Mother and you can see why society is in the state it is in.
All that is material, comforting, pleasurable and nourishing has become the substitute for THE Mother and we are overindulging and sucking Mother Earth’s breasts dry and speaking of sucking Mother Earth’s breasts…

Infantile, Self-Centered Lovemaking

Men should be expected to have a healthy, testosterone driven libido. However disconnection from their Yin Consciousness prevents any further mastery of their mojo into something more emotionally developed, controlled and masterful.

Remember the early men who had to discover the art of seduction in order to compete with the brawny jocks? Well patriarchy undid any need for wooing a woman's Masculine Mind or being a skillful lover. As a result, a large number of men attractive and unattractive alike, are in a state of infantile drooling and premature ejaculation which is a turn off.

Such men are insecure around women because they are incapable of seduction and often demonize the “wizened woman”, the divorcee, the playgirl. Shows like Sex And The City infuriate them. Unlike the confident male sexual sophisticate who has learned enough empathy, technique and self-mastery to please an experienced woman, the drooling, sexual man-child likes his women virginal, clueless, girlish so she cannot judge his poor lovemaking skills and/or so desperate she has no other option but to put up with his clumsy, self-centered attempts at sex.

Unresolved Self-Image Issues

We often marvel how handsome or powerful married men who can have any beautiful woman or already have beautiful wives will still go cheat with a fat crack whore or the less attractive intern, nanny or maid. The thing is when it comes right down to basic, biologically driven, magnetic lust, women are always pickier. We need appealing smell, pleasing appearance, seduction skills and some indication of prowess physical, sexual, intellectual, financial just to get aroused enough for sex.

I can guarantee that some man has, is or will tap this.

It sounds crass but if the ugliest, most obese woman on the block, pulled down her panties and was giving it away, some man will take up her offer. Yes, even female vagrants get laid. Male vagrants? A little wine-up on J’ouvert is the best they can do.

Body image is deceptively more important to men than they let on because they know how important it is to women. Men just internalize a lot of the pain and insecurity they feel. That suppressed dissatisfaction is dangerous because the resentment is often channeled in destructive ways.

Stuck With Atrophied, Damaged, Dysfunctional Females

Patriarchy has seriously damaged women. We never stop to consider what men must now contend with because of women who are now:

- Mercenary, needy with low self-esteem and desperation expressed in passive aggressive ways that wear down and emasculate men
- Immature and/or prudish, frigid which deeply frustrates men who are sex positive
- Nursing unused ambition and wounded ego through bitterness, catty, backstabbing, gossiping and petty social game play with other females
- Indecisive, dumb and helpless making men feel overburdened with the full load of planning, protecting and providing
- Desperate users of sex and reproduction as their only currency which makes men feel distrustful, trapped and resentful
- Damaged by emotional, sexual and physical abuse and unable to love freely.

A well-meaning man who has been run-over by the batshit female bus usually does not want to hear anything about how bad women have it. As far as he is concerned, women are on a warpath of destruction! But the truth is, women are fighting to survive and acheive some kind of self-worth by any means necessary.

The sad thing is that the women who have enlightened and liberated themselves from such tendencies are usually the women that terrify most men because they are too smart, too spiritual, too sexually free and too successful for most men's wounded egos to handle.

Always Uncertain Of Her Heart

A slave cannot truly love a Master unconditionally with the freest will.

Imagine the burden of the man who must undertake dominating a woman under the illusion it is his God-given role. It is tiresome work! Especially if he is using such conditional, controlling means while hoping to receive genuine love in return.

It is ever present in his mind that her choices are not entirely free. Therefore he cannot ever know for sure:
Do I really have her unprompted love, desire, devotion or is she just doing what she must to survive or gain some social standing? If she were as free as a man, would she still choose me?

Funny how the most controlling societies are also the most suspicious and unforgiving of women. It is as if they know that tighter you hold the spring between your fingers the further away it will fly if it gets the smallest bit of release.

Isms and Phobias

Racism/Xenophobia

When tribes and empires began competing for supremacy and domination, it resulted in an increasing clannish/tribal protectionism. Oppressed tribes formed a common solidarity that became a source of racial pride. This could become warped into a growing US vs. THEM culture. Even so, this is not the worse kind of racism there is.

The really virulent, entrenched kind of racism is closely linked to male heads of households trying to secure a PURE patriarchal lineage through which they could eventually grow wealth and power and if lucky be reborn to enjoy it.

When empires came into being, not all families ascended to the upper echelons of power. For those who did not acquire wealth in their lifetime, there was the hope that through successive generations they could one day do so. In the skewed patriarchal system, the main goal is acquisition of power and dominance. It is everything!

The burden of patriarchal legacy denies children their right to freedom and self-actualization.

Fear of death is very strong (more on that a few paragraphs down) in patriarchal societies so finding ways to be eternal is a big deal. Trying to live on through name, legacy and genetics required the creation of a male heir who would be an exact replica of the father, carry out the father’s unfulfilled dreams, grow the father’s wealth and carry on the father’s legacy. An exact replica meant that men wanted their children and grandchildren to look just like them. In fact the patriarch of the family would often not recognize any children that did not seem to be of his lineage.

So of course, interracial coupling produced more dissimilar results. Also women who were unfaithful were easier to identify and punish if their “hornerman” was from another race once the incriminating offspring was born.

Today, this kind of racism is still very much alive. In fact, I still maintain the only way to identify a real racist is the test of interracial couples or children.

Classism

Remember the very first definition of unbridled patriarchy? Survival of the fittest WITHOUT the checks and balances of choice? Classism is the societal and economic manifestation of this.

It is not that hierarchy is inherently wrong. It is just that with great power comes great responsibility.

The head male gorilla may enjoy the best vantage point, first pick of females, first pick of food BUT all of this privilege comes with a heavy responsibility and a heavy price. He has all the power in order to SERVE his fellow troop. That is Mother Nature’s check and balance.

In a system that has attempted to foil Mother Nature and fly in the face of Universal Balance, we have the most privileged 1% in America who do not want to pay taxes. The custodians of the empire do not go and fight their wars but send poor, young men and women to die for them. We have people who actually feel comfortable living in ostentatious wealth while surrounded by poverty. We have people who really think that wealth and fame is for their own self-esteem and not tools of power GIFTED to them to be USED to help maintain a more beautiful, balanced planet.

Homophobia

In a truly balanced world, gender would be as nature intended- diverse. Love would be love no matter the gender. The roles and responsibilities we gave people would be based on their demonstration of their abilities and talents not whether they had a penis or vagina. That includes the roles and responsibilities of parenthood.

Since this is not the case and we have not only presumed what women should always be and what men should always be but decided to forcefully and blindly apply it to everyone we are in part to blame for the easily identifiable screaming queen and diesel dyke.

The most entrenched form of homophobia comes from those who resent the fact that homosexuals flaunt the truth about the Masculine/Feminine Imbalance that exists in the world. They flaunt the truth, that our gender roles are not distinct, dual and set in stone but diffuse, diverse and dynamic.

Those of us who believe in reincarnation see them as souls desperately seeking to rebalance in this life. Victims of patriarchy; the helpless, girlish, superficial bimbette reborn as a man and the brutish, emotionally repressed, testosterone led tool is reborn as a big breasted woman. It is the Universe seeking balance.

Those of us closer to that balance- the true bisexuals, gender neutral, Ishvara souls can clearly see why those who bravely live out a seeming mockery of the gender stereotypes should be celebrated. We clearly see why they spark the ire of those still slaves to the stereotypes and depend on them for a sense of identity, purpose and perimeters.

The heterosexual woman who has blindly bought into the "domestic Goddess", "husband's helpmate" role as her only purpose in life and has been forced to channel all her unspent intellect and ambition on emotionally controlling her children and socially controlling other women with underhanded catty games just to feel some kind of power, is forced to take a good, long hard look at her life when she encounters a lesbian, especially one who is just as feminine and beautiful as she.

Yet the lesbian is truly her OWN WOMAN, belongs to no man, follows her passions, expresses her talents, makes her own way, loves other women, promotes sisterhood instead of trying to compete for male attention. Now the heterosexual domestic goddess and Queen Bee is forced to ask herself, "What is my excuse?"

The same goes for the heterosexual man who has blindly bought into the "boys never cry," and "men only do manly things" who encounters the manly fairy.

Some straight people let the experience free them and open a whole new world. Others run screaming from it, deeply resentful at the gay person for contradicting their life choices and beliefs about how they are supposed to be as men or women, even if those beliefs on closer examination are not making them and the vast majority of heterosexuals truly happy and fulfilled.

Thanatophobia (Fear Of Death)

Memory is of the Feminine Divine. Call it what you will, the Alpha, the mitochondrial factor, the XX factor. The most important kind of knowledge/memory there is, is the awareness of one’s eternity.

Only an active awareness of the Divine Feminine allows humans to embrace the complete circle (Death and Rebirth) without fear. Humans with this kind of awareness can see death just like puberty or menopause, a natural process. They can embrace the contrast between light and dark. They can revere the deep, strong currents of the river that provides fish but which can also sweep a child under to the next world.

Kali, Goddess of Death and Creation.

Awareness of the complete circle also makes it possible to surrender to experiences that make the spiritual a very tactile thing. One begins to see that the veil separating the physical and spiritual is extremely thin which of course opens up whole new realms of exploration fiercely forbidden by single Male Divine Parented Judeo Christianity which is only concerned with stimulating the waist up. Speaking of which…

Erotophobia (Fear Of Sexual Pleasure

Orgasm is called the “little death” but if you are afraid of death period and therefore afraid to surrender, afraid to embrace vulnerability, afraid to free fall and disconnect into pure sensation from the waist down, then the full power of the little death will continue to elude you.

This kind of dysfunction has affected primarily women. No surprise as they have been sexually repressed with far more consistency and intrusiveness by the patriarchal system. However, anorgasmia (loss of orgasm or inability to have orgasm) is becoming a growing problem among men.

Can you imagine the combined, pent up frustration of a growing number of men who are unable to orgasm? Or who ejaculate with little to no depth of pleasure from the release?

Why Do You Defend It?

Has unbalanced patriarchy done such wonderful good in your life that it is worth defending? Has it made you happier and healthier in all aspects of your life? Has it been able to secure you the freely given, unconditional love of a woman? Has it made you richer? Has it made your country a better place? Or is the truth that other than that top 1% who have always benefitted from this system, you are just another pawn, hanging on to the dream that one day, your son, your grandson will lift your name up to join that 1%?

Are you ready to remedy all of the ills of patriarchal imbalance? Stay tuned, we will explore in the final essay how we all can reconnect to the Mother, how women can tune into their Yang Consciousness and how men can tune into their Yin Consciousness.