This approach to the subject is so old!
Are men to blame for the state of the world? Are women, children and Mother Earth being held hostage and being slowly destroyed by the evil machinations of macho men? Are your hackles already raised?
Relax! This is not going to be another “black spiritual woman feminist rant” against the evil penis. Sorry to disappoint those expecting one as well. I have no beef with the collective “dick” or even with singular ones. This is about healing, forgiving and moving on. This is about both men and women taking equal responsibility for what has happened to us and to our planet. This is about men and women moving on from here together with a clearer understanding of gender, polarity, sexuality and the spiritual and societal implications involved when we are not in balance at an individual level first.
I want to share with you the tools from the 2012 Survival Kit to rid ourselves of Masculine/Feminine imbalance. I can only share this with you now because I have submitted myself to an ongoing and arduous process of (1) Re-claiming my authentic gender identity, (2) Re-affirming my sexuality, (3) Reconnecting with the Feminine Divine and by extension my outer-woman hood (4) Reconciling with the Masculine Divine and by extension with men and embracing male sexuality in general.
These four steps have helped me see my inner soul beyond the confines of my biological gender, my sexuality and society’s designated gender role for me. It has helped me to see the same in others. I believe if we all can take this step forward we can get to the heart of this issue and begin to perceive Masculine and Feminine not as just as penis and vagina, breadwinner and homemaker, logical and emotional with one being somehow more important than the other, we will start to understand Masculine and Feminine as equal, spiritual, Universal Poles that must always be perfectly balanced within and without in our world.
Is this what you want to achieve? Then keep on reading.
Let Go Of The Victim Thing!
Certain radical and/or spiritual feminists really know how to polarize a room and turn people off from their message of Feminine Empowerment when they paint an “evil men” vs. “saint-like women” version of the world. They idealize the feminine as the ideal and demonize the masculine entirely as less evolved, empathetic, enlightened and therefore incapable of moving our human race forward.
Regular readers of my blog should know by now I will not be taking that route because it is not how I roll- spiritually speaking. If you are just reading this, let me elaborate.
In previous articles I have always stressed why nobody is a victim. See the Forgiveness Series. I try to unearth the underlying cause between a seeming feud between two parties or bully/victim scenario. In the The Gay Pride Essay I did last year I dismantled the Gay vs. Straight nonsense and showed how all people have had their natural sexuality and the spiritual power behind it, misunderstood, warped and misappropriated.
In all my explorations whether race, sexuality and gender more often than not I see how “the enemy” is oftentimes not the person on the opposite side and there is no opposite side. Usually, "the enemy" is also suffering under a delusion but only empathy helps the assumed victim to see that.
You see beyond the actions of the racist to the scared little person suffering from wounded false expectations and false pride under the delusion he is superior. You see his frustration when he must constantly confront ego-crushing examples of why he is lying to himself. You see beyond the homophobe to the insecure person suffering from inability or lack of fulfillment within his/her gender role and sexual life. You see why they must find a way lash out at those who seem to be celebrating an alternative, one that is unavailable to the homophobe. Similarly, when it come to the sexes, although on the surface it would appear that men are the dominant ones and therefore the “victors” or “oppressors”, the truth is, they are hurting deep inside and are truly suffering.
Simply put, the battle of the sexes is a false issue. There is no “men vs. women”. The real war has nothing to do with the sexes and everything to do with keeping both men and women imbalanced and disempowered. The instigators might predominantly be men but their victims are also men as well as women. Why do this to us? So that we all can be equally exploited and made to play along with a political and economic system that benefits only the Powers That Be who are the protectors of imbalance.
The time has come for you to do Step 1- Reclaim your authentic gender identity. In order to do this you must separate biological gender from the much more Universal Polarity of Masculine and Feminine.
The Difference Between Biological Gender And The Universal Polarity of Masculine and Feminine
This is a more detailed re-cap of an earlier discourse from the essays where I explored the Elements Of Sex
This Taoist symbol represents Ishvara- the whole, Divine perfection, the balance of Universal Polarity. If there is dark, there must be light. If there is up, there must be down. If there is Alpha there must be The Omega, if there is Feminine there must be Masculine. Yin/Yang can be used to represent the more esoteric, spiritual meaning of Masculine and Feminine and it can also be used as a tool to illustrate how male and female relate sexually and spiritually.
For this series I would like to deconstruct the Yin/Yang symbol to explore what happens when we become overly focused on one side to the detriment of the other, starting with biological gender, then spiritual/emotional and then community/planet.
Let’s begin with the male and exploration of the Yang.
Here is a heterosexual man as represented by the Yang half of the Yin/Yang symbol. The larger portion of the symbol indicates his anatomical, evolutionary, chromosomal, hormonal make-up. He has XY chromosomes, he has a penis, testes; he produces testosterone which makes him look, smell, sound and act like the male half of the human animal. What exactly does that mean?
It means he is biologically and evolutionary driven to (1) Survive (2) Pass On His Genes (3) Secure His Territory, Tribe Members, Resources That Aid Him In Passing On His Genes.
Because humans are learning-primates who can adapt, he will find ever more sophisticated ways of doing all three as his environment and society evolves. In the past he achieved this goal by demonstrating his prowess against other males to woo many females. If he was the victor, he would enjoy unbridled access to sex and protect his territory and tribe. If he was the loser he would steal females from under the victor’s nose and mate with them in secret. If he was the loser and also spurned by the females, he would rape.
No matter how technologically savvy and ethically complex we become, these three basic biological/evolutionary triggers are always at play. We just find newer ways to implement them.
However, we are so much more than just animals. We have a higher, learning thought process that reigns over our creativity, spirituality and conscience. In the heterosexual male, that part is represented by the little Feminine symbol seed within the Yang body. It is the Alpha/Feminine Divine.
The only thing that can balance out the biological, testosterone-fuelled male animal is the Feminine-polarized soul at his core. Now keep in mind when I say “Feminine” it has nothing to do with biological female gender and gender roles. It has to do with the Feminine Universal Polarity that is concerned with - Entropic Change, Sensation/Feeling, Physical Materialization, Conservation, Potential.
We get man that is virile, sexy, undeniably male, driven to show his prowess, driven to protect his progeny and tribe yet at the same time he is also creative (Entropic Change) connected and empathetic (Sensation/Feeling) productive (Physical Materialization) nurturing (Conservation) and always striving for power through balance (Potential).
As we say in our Trini parlance, “Now dat is man!”
How A Man Becomes Imbalanced
When men deny the Alpha Feminine Divine within them and worship only the physical attributes of biological male gender, they become empty caricatures of meaningless, imbalanced, masculinity.
At the very heart of Freudian psychology is masculine/feminine imbalance. It is all about investigating why all men are unable to feel complete within the confines of a warped system that tries to make men stamp out the Alpha Feminine within them and helping them cope with the loss. Freud personalizes the Alpha Feminine as the mother figure within a boy’s life but it goes far beyond this.
The loss of the Alpha Feminine invariably starts when a young boy who while still healthy and properly balanced, finally understands that his mother is being subjugated sexually, intellectually, emotionally by his Alpha deficient father. Right away, the boy knows at his core there is something unjust about it. He experiences hurt because of it but he is forced to accept it. He is told,
“Do not side with your mother it will make you a mama’s boy! Be thankful you get to grow up to emulate your father and avoid her fate, which is the fate of all women!”
Right there! That is the first chunk of his inner Alpha soul being killed. Next he is inculcated in all the ways to kill his connectedness to his emotions and sensations by being told to “man-up”. Another piece of his Alpha soul gone! Again, this causes him pain and a deep sense of loss. To compensate for this loss he is inculcated in religious, social, economic systems of false power that grant him a higher hierarchy in God’s Universe. Not only that, these systems also force him to exert dominant control over all forms of nature. He learns to fight entropic change rather than embrace it; overemphasize the intellectual over the intuitive, consume and expand recklessly and seek power through outer manifestations instead of inner potential.
The damage is complete by the time he hits puberty and testosterone now reinforces the imbalance. He lives with a sense of trauma, loss and insecurity his entire life. Sometimes it is only when he encounters a man who still has Alpha Feminine Divine Energy in him and has somehow escaped this fate that his loss bubbles to the surface, most often as envy, then anger and over-defensiveness of the flawed system to cover their insecurity.
Many men are asking, “How come I am forced to live up to society’s idea of a “real man” and meanwhile these poofters, artsy fartsy types and new-age men are getting away with being sissies! They are taking the easy way out! They are just trying to avoid the exhausting task of keeping a woman under proper control and passing on the legacy to all children born! Not fair!”
The thing is, who said they MUST take up that role? They too can be just as free if they choose and society would actually thrive.
Now, The Ladies Turn
Here is a heterosexual woman as represented by the Yin half of the Yin/Yang symbol. The black portion of the symbol indicates her anatomical, evolutionary, chromosomal, hormonal make-up. She has XX chromosomes, she has a vagina, milk-ducts, ovaries; she produces oestrogen which makes her look, smell, sound and act like the female half of the human animal. What exactly does that mean?
It means she is biologically and evolutionary driven to (1) Survive (2) Select The Best Genes On Offer (3) Gestate, Birth, Protect And Teach Her Offspring And Form Cohesive Social Bonds With Her Tribe Members.
When she is allowed to fully express every single aspect of her biological gender imperatives, she actively participates in helping her community to survive with just as much bravery and ferocity. She is just as ruthlessly sexual about offering herself to whichever male she sniffs out to be the best stud of the group or the best option for helping her protect any young born to her. She is a natural-born, intuitive teacher with highly adaptive social maneuverability.
Just like her brothers, she is also much more than just these evolutionary traits. However, unlike her brothers who had their inner Alpha Feminine Core damaged, while their outer biological impulses were allowed free reign and even celebrated. The woman had both her outer biological gender manifestation as well as the inner Omega Masculine Core within her damaged.
In the heterosexual female, that Omega Masculine Core is represented by the little Male symbol seeded within the Yin body.
The only thing that can balance out the biological, oestrogen-fuelled female animal is the Masculine-polarized soul at her core. Now keep in mind when I say “Masculine” it has nothing to do with biological male gender and male gender roles. It has to do with the Omega Masculine Universal Polarity concerned with: Intellect/Thought, Activation, Dematerialization, Conquest/Movement, Projection.
A balanced woman is desirable, undeniably feminine and sexy; passionate, a nurturer, fierce defender of her young, socially adept yet at the same time, intelligent (Intellect/Thought) ambitious (Activation) spiritual/analytical (Dematerialization) physically capable and active (Conquest/Movement) and always striving for power and leadership (Projection).
Unfortunately, such women are also feared by insecure men. As we say in our Trini parlance, “Doh even think to mess wit she!”
How Women Become Imbalanced
Without the Omega Divine Masculine, a woman becomes insipid, childish, emotionally needy, petty and an empty vessel to be sexually objectified and oppressed. It starts when as a little girl she is groomed entirely for one role….to please.
Everything about how we raise girls stems from teaching them how to please others and be pleasing at the expense of their intelligence, physical health, emotional well-being, deep ambition and dignity.
So, boys can stink but she must smell sweet at all times. Boys can dream big and beyond! She must dream only of how to support their big dreams not her own. Boys can express their physicality but when she does, it is seen as un-ladylike. Boys can express their anger, dissatisfaction but she must be temperate and accepting even if it means dealing with the cancer it causes later on. Boys can be sexually lascivious and still considered respectable but she can only be sexually lascivious if she assumes the role of harlot (or as we say in Trini parlance “Jammette”) and all the ridicule, punishment that comes with it. She can only think herself beautiful if a man confirms that she is and must feign modest disbelief when he does. She must wear men’s clothes in order to feel powerful and free but women's clothes have no power, in fact if a man wears women's clothes he instantly falls to a lower, degrading rank. She must hide how smart she is least she hurt the boys’ feelings. She must not laugh too loudly nor seen to be laughing at boys because it hurts their feelings. On the other hand, boys who mock her and mistreat her she must accept as signs of their hidden affection. She is told over and over she has no decision-making skills and always needs a man to make the final choice for her, whether her father or her husband. Most of all, she is taught God is a male only. There is no Female Divine counterpart to imbue her with pride and spiritual justification.
Can you finally see why men and women have all these problems relating to one another? We are dealing with two equally damaged, dysfunctional, imbalanced parties here who are not living up to their true Divine potential. So of course there is going to be tremendous pain and lack of fulfillment in any emotional, spiritual, sexual relationship, gay or straight with people who are not properly balanced.
The question we now need to ask is by whom or by what were both men and women damaged? Yes, men did subjugate women but remember, we are going much deeper than that. We need to ask who or what was BEHIND their actions and even deeper, who or what was BEHIND that? Also, always remember that women ALLOWED themselves to be subjugated just as men ALLOWED their inner Alpha Feminine Divine to be erased. So no, there are still no victims here. It’s not entirely “men’s fault” that women have now become as John Lennon expressed below:
Woman is the nigger of the world
Yes she is...think about it
Woman is the nigger of the world
Think about it...do something about it
We make her paint her face and dance
If she won’t be slave, we say that she don’t love us
If she’s real, we say she’s trying to be a man
While putting her down we pretend that she is above us
Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Ah yeah...better scream about it
We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother then
We tell her home is the only place she would be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend
Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Yeah (think about it)
We insult her everyday on TV
And wonder why she has no guts or confidence
When she’s young we kill her will to be free
While telling her not to be so smart we put her down for being so dumb
Woman is the nigger of the world...yes she is
If you don’t believe me take a look to the one you’re with
Woman is the slaves of the slaves
Yes she is...if you believe me, you better scream about it.
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
We make her paint her face and dance
It’s not all “women’s fault” that men are required to be emotionally obtuse, secretly overly-sensitive, entirely ego-driven, domineers as expressed by the Janet Jackson video below:
Equal rights, equal responsibility! It’s BOTH our faults and it’s BOTH our problem to solve because it negatively affects BOTH genders and even all those in-between. Ah yes, we did not mention the diverse range of gender variations that exist between. For as clearly as I have defined male and female, masculine and feminine, there exists a much wider range than that.
I’ve covered this many times so I won’t go into it in great detail again. But I will say that every year on this planet, millions of individuals are born with congenital, chromosomal, hormonal, morphologic, genital and/or gonadal anomalies and millions more with varying psychological, emotional and sexual traits as it relates to gender. I will also say it is perfectly natural!
Those who continue to insist that gender consists of only two valid options: (1) Heterosexual/Biological Male/Masculine Minded/Male Gender Role Playing and (2) Heterosexual/Biological Female/Feminine Minded/Female Gender Role Playing are ignoring the beautiful Divinely purposed complexity of gender, to their own detriment.
You can mix and match from all four of these contributing factors to gender. You can be a heterosexual tomboy, i.e.-a biological female with a very masculine consciousness who loves men and subscribes to a societal gender role more common with men. You can be a macho gay man, i.e. a biological über male, with a very masculine mind who loves men and subscribes to a gender role more common with men. You can be an intersex feminine lesbian, a masculine bisexual and on and on. We are all beautiful and Divinely purposed.
In the second essay I will be delving into Patriarchy and Matriarchy. Hopefully, if you got the point of this essay, you no longer see it as a gender issue but spiritual and economic one based on attributes from two Universal Poles. In other words a woman can be Patriarchal and a man can be Matriarchal in his outlook.
We will see why Patriarchy and Matriarchy alone are equally imperfect systems when allowed sole dominance in society. We will explore how patriarchal systems managed to conquer ones that had more matriarchal influence as well as nearly destroy the Feminine Divine and the resulting effects today.
Next I will re-direct to tools from the 2012 Survival Kit for “individual “and relationship balancing of Masculine and Feminine so we can each perfectly emulate the Divine which is both Alpha and Omega and being to effect profound global change.
