September 14, 2011

The Culture Of Bullying And Persecution Complexes.

The 2012 Survival Kit will continue with an exploration of Fear that hopefully will help us dismiss fake fears and learn how to deal with real ones using the Universal Laws and Spiritual Power-Ups.

While I work on it, I thought I would share a much simpler and related discourse on the whole “Anti-Bullying” movement taking off around the world, particularly in first world countries. Comedians highlight that the discomforts, depression, disorders, even food allergies seem to be first-world nation disorders. Happiness and inner peace seems more attainable by people who are content with far less and still challenged to work hard.

This is not to make light of the true victims of abusive words and actions or those who have suffered isolation, defamation, exclusion and denial of personhood, a fair shot at success and equal human rights. This is about gaining some perspective and strength in an overly sensitive, politically correct world where people’s egos seem even more fragile than egg shells and the very notion of becoming stronger by facing trial by fire seems unfathomable. It seems like if everyone has a low pain threshold. Even people with abundant food, loving family and friends, blossoming careers and easy acceptance within the status quo are somehow being crippled by depression.

So how do you separate what is truly an injurious and inhumane infraction on your person and what is merely the inevitable friction caused by diversity of beliefs, attitudes, levels of enlightenment, maturity and tolerance?

What you need is to find the constant, the true benchmark by which you measure an injurious and inhumane infraction. Of course, everyone’s tolerance levels are different and here lies the challenge! We have to keep our balance as a society. Those whose tolerance levels are too low must learn how to develop some backbone! Those whose tolerance levels are extremely high must learn how to become a little less desensitized.

I once had an impassioned argument with a young, upper class-born, Caribbean female professional now living and working in North America. She grew up in a life of relative ease uncharacteristic for most young women in her island; two parents, lovely home, abundant nourishing food, access to great health care, great school, extracurricular activities, family vacations abroad and her academic goals supported and funded. Though not gay herself (as far as I know) today she gains great satisfaction from immersing herself in contentious, difficult and challenging situations helping gay teenagers cope with rejection and discrimination in her first-world country home.

Commendable work indeed!

What inspires such bravery in more hostile places of the world?

But when I tried to point out that a disadvantaged black person from the ghetto here and/or even in North America has it much harder than some middle-class gay or lesbian in a first world country and probably needs a lot more support, we diverged in opinion…drastically. She was really fired up about how terrible it is for those young homosexuals in the first world and even claimed I did not understand their pain.

Now, she had no idea that she was speaking to a lesbian who came out at fifteen to staunchly religious and intolerant parents, survived depression, suicide attempts and still puts up with far worse abuse, including watching her partner get assaulted twice, while living in the Caribbean with little to no support available and no recourse. Male, angry, frustrated, confounded calls of, “Zami” forms part of the soundtrack to which I go to work, the grocery or movies.

I choose not to tell her about my experiences and those of other Caribbean gays and lesbians who suffer even more than I do.

I could see she was close to tears already and I had no intention of making her feel like her commendable work was worthless because it is not. aAny effort made to help another is a blessed thing. However all that fire, that passion she has for what she does will be exponentially more powerful if motivated by the right principles and guided by clearer perspective.

We all have different tolerance levels for things that are unpleasant or that seem unfair. This is why it is important to look at everything objectively and universally. Only then will the real persecution reveal itself and only then will holistic solutions become apparent.

Perspective is everything.

Perspective is the only thing that empowers us to invest our energies wisely and that includes our anger, effort, ambitions and activism. Sadly, there are many things that get in the way of finding that perspective.

These are:

Nurturing A Subjective Self-Esteem

How is it that a teenage drag queen can proudly strut her stuff through a rough Caribbean neighbourhood, full of homophobic, sexually-insecure men quick to violence, in a country where homosexuality is not only socially frowned upon but illegal? But in a first world country where it is not a crime to be gay and gay culture is supported, celebrated, endorsed and unions are legally recognized another young man’s spirit is utterly demolished by being called “Faggot!”

That young Caribbean man’s self-esteem comes from within and rests on a foundation of inner strength both emotional and spiritual. For this reason, it is unshakable by public opinion or even law. I know of cases where the person simply believes, “I am fabulous! I am proud! I know God loves me so I don’t need your damn approval! I deserve to be able to walk this street as I please just as you do!”

The“In-your-face, objective approach” to self-love, celebration of diversity and individuality has far reaching positive benefits.

Whether the first openly gay person in the workplace to the first black person to try to join the all-white golf club to the first woman to seek Government office or the only atheist who is brave enough to decline participation in an inappropriately imposed religious practice. These are the people who inspire the breakthroughs that lead to greater freedom for us all. We need a lot more individuals, not just gay and lesbian but all people of all creeds, beliefs and cultures whose self-worth is not subject to whether or not they get validation from the system or their social environment.

For this reason, I think the Lady Gaga approach to bullying- “Love yourself! Stand proud! You are beautiful!” is far more empowering than the approach taken by activists who try to police the social environment with cosmetic-only policies that demonize words, symbols, differences of opinion, often devoid of context and unable to address the complexity of human interaction and expression.

They demonize the “N” word regardless. They demonize “Fag” regardless. They demonize all expression of any religious beliefs or non-belief. They demonize all difficult debates.

In the end what this does is create a society of weaklings who never learn how to independently develop that kind of self-esteem possessed by the self-loving, self-affirming drag queen in the homophobic Caribbean who braves the threats and confronts it head on with rebuttal, debate and well-coined defense. That brave soul is doing much more for gay rights than those trying to force society to be palatable. When he responds to:

“Yuh fucking bullerman! Fire bun!”
“Why yuh watching if you doh like?! Don’t make me drag your dirty laundry out for everyone to hear!”

He is showing strength. He is addressing the hatred. He is highlighting the hypocrisy. He actually has the opportunity to influence and possibly change the intolerant person’s mind-set. But when we prevent the intolerant person from even speaking, we let their negativity fester below the surface of polite society, unaddressed just waiting to explode in ways that will certainly be far more calculated and damaging to the intended victim of his hatred.

North American and European society is becoming more obsessed with being palatable than being profound and powerful in our ability to identify truth and justice. It is actually becoming impotent against those who truly seek to impinge on human rights and dignity. All they have to do is now jump on the politically correct train.

"No, we don’t hate gay people. We just hate the sin of homosexuality."

"No, we aren’t setting out trying to hurt gay families. We are just supporting traditional values."

"No, we aren’t racist. We just don’t believe the Government should give special assistance to the poor (mostly black) communities. Why can’t they help themselves? We did! We had no special advantages whatsoever!"

And the persecution complex train…

"People are calling our beliefs bigoted and our viewpoints are being challenged and becoming unpopular in the mainstream media! We are being persecuted!"

"A secular and/or scientific viewpoint is being considered instead of our narrow religious viewpoint. We are being persecuted!"

"The Government and public square is not showing favor to our religious beliefs over other beliefs or non-beliefs. We are being persecuted!"

Only a few voices in the media have the balls to engage in more a penetrating intellectual search for truth instead of playing the politically correct/persecution complex charade where deep, complex issues are settled with dubious sugar-coated sound-bites.

When we give credence to false premises and false hurts we end up becoming impotent at powerful debate in the public square.
Now, if we were to grow some cahones, we would know that the response to someone expressing, “I believe being gay is a sin!” is not, “That is hurtful, bigoted, old-fashioned. SHUT UP!”

Instead, it should be:
“Let’s debate that! Go on! Prove your statement to be absolutely true! If you cannot then society is under no obligation to show any consideration for what is just a subjective religious opinion even if we respect your right to have it and express it. Nor do you have the right to impinge on anyone’s human rights because of your subjective religious opinion. Seeking to do so makes you potentially an enemy of freedom and equality.”

This is the standard that should be demanded of everyone, particularly politicians and religious leaders seeking to influence public policy. This is the level of debate that should be taking place in the media and in schools. This is the kind of exchange that brings society one step closer to gaining some true perspective.

Brilliantly handled! See how local Long Beach residents dealt with the hateful protest of Westboro Baptist Church in their area.

I look at the tragic shooting of Lawrence King by the troubled student Brian Mc Inerney and the way it is being handled in the courts and I just cringe with frustration. In the oversensitive, simplistic, politically correct arena of US Law, what everyone is missing is this: Lawrence King (May He Rest In Peace) was a confident, fulfilled, esteemed and loved child. In his tragically short life, despite being different and sometimes teased for it, despite having difficulties with his home life while growing up, Lawrence discovered through all his tribulations the power of self-expression and was supported with love and tolerance at his school.

At his memorial service, the Rev. Dan Birchfield said, “God knit Larry together and made him wonderfully complex. Larry was a masterpiece.”

I look at Brian Mc Inerney, the perpetrator and all I see is tragedy. Abused, unloved, ignored, insecure and a ticking time-bomb that nobody cared to hear or see. He will be spending most of his life in prison for a crime committed from a place of utmost inner weakness and turmoil at an age when he lacked the wherewithal to deal with such powerfully demoralizing emotions. He will forever be remembered as a hateful monster by most too content with a simplistic world view where the bully is seen as the one with all the power, not as the one in need of the most help.

It is clear to me that the concern, love, attention, paid to Lawrence to boost his self-esteem, even though commendable would have better helped Brian Mc Inerney because Lawrence King was a stronger, happier, more evolved and resilient soul than Brian Mc Inerny. If our approach was a little more balanced, perhaps two lives would have been saved.

The saddest thing is that by labeling all bullies MONSTERS and not delving any deeper, by labeling all the bullied, VICTIMS, particularly when the results are fatal for them and not delve any deeper. It’s as if their death has no meaning, no lesson to teach us to make us more empowered.

Myopic Entitlement

In other words, “I am so special that I exist outside the impact zone of cause and effect.”


The Lady Gaga approach to self-love that I applauded earlier does have its limits. At some point, your ego has to mature enough to accommodate the fact that as thread in the tapestry of the human fabric, you will experience its rippling and stretching.

We all fall prey to this inability to see and make connections between our seemingly exclusive existence, hopes, dreams, expectations and the bigger picture of which we are unavoidably a part. For example:

A European tourist couple comes to a third-world country on vacation. While there, they exist entirely in their own unique universe, hopes, dreams and expectations until they are robbed by a desperate, ghetto dwelling man trying to provide for his family. The European couple is devastated. Their vacation is RUINED! They feel totally victimized and see the entire situation as unfair to THEM. They had nothing to do with what happened to them! How could it possibly be their fault this happened to them! The robber, the third-world island’s law enforcement, government and their economic policies need to take personal responsibility!

And I agree. Every individual in this situation has to take personal responsibility. I just believe that includes the European tourist couple. While they have no control over another individual’s actions, what makes them think that the conditions in that third-world island that fosters an environment that drives desperate criminal acts has zero to do with them and the life they enjoy?

Once you are an active consumer in our capitalist system you are connected to that starving child, African rape victim during militia unrest over precious minerals, homeless indigenous tribe who watched their rainforest decimated. As participants in an unfair and failed system we cannot be exempt from the karmic repercussions however they find us. When they do, we must temper our suffering with some perspective.

If that European couple were to step outside a narrow, subjective viewpoint that only accommodates the supremacy of their hopes, dreams, and expectations it is easy to see that they have deliberately or unwittingly accepted a number of false assumptions. Topmost among those false assumptions is that it is somehow their right to be able to enjoy an uninterrupted lifestyle of luxury in a poor country with desperate people who do not benefit from the tourism industry because of Government corruption, exploitative foreign debt and unfair trade.

How many false assumptions are we nursing that are based on our subjective awareness? Better yet, are we so over-involved in our little universe that we forget the world out there? It seems so.

Do you think that because you are an attractive, educated black woman you are exempt from being approached by less desirable men? Does it overly offend you? Then you need to- GET OVER YOURSLEF!

Do you think that because you have money and gadgets to flaunt it makes you cool and interesting and you get offended when certain people still do not seem impressed by you? Then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF!

Do you think that because you truly believe you’ve found the “true religion” and it has done wonderful things in your life that people must listen, believe and convert whenever you preach to them or else something must be wrong with them? Then you need to GET OVER YOURSELF!

A good exercise is to read the UN Declaration of Human Rights. It helps to put your false assumptions about what you are entitled to on this planet into perspective, set your benchmark for gratitude a lot lower and thus make it more attainable which makes you more empowered to focus on real problems.

Let me tell you, on many occasions I too need to GET OVER MYSELF! I find that if I don’t do it, sure enough, The Universe will provide one hell of an embarrassing or humbling experience to make me realize that as unique and blessed I think I am, I am still part of this crazy, unpredictable thing called life. The stinky vagrant who annoys me with his unwanted attention ends up being the same one helping me off the floor because in my self-involved fuming, I trip and buss my tail.

In fact, I have a major test of everything I claim to believe coming up. An active construction site full of Caribbean men from the poorer districts is going up right in front of my home. I know from expereince that within those environments, men are raised to gape, soot and throw lewd comments to assert themselves when they see women, even if and especially if it is obvious the female victim would not ever be interested. I know from experience that a woman who looks like me (black with dreadlocks) that lives in an upscale neighborhood is going to be of particular interest and then particular affront to that particular brand of black, male ego when I show no interest in the cat-calls. Sharing a house with my white, female life-partner isn't going to help either.

I am not thin-skinned. I am not even afraid to the point of wanting to move. I have the knowledge. I have the spiritual foundation. I am not looking at the situation with myopic entitlement. I see the struggle and hardship those men face. I see their Masculine/Feminine imbalance. I see how much Lack and Fear drives the actions of men who harang women relentlessly and/or are homophobic and feel deep insult by lesbians or interracial relationships.

But when I come face to face with it, will I be able to maintain inner peace, self-confidence, freedom and a deep sense of security rooted in my inner strength? Can I forgive and turn the other cheek?

Well, I'll keep you posted on that one.

Meanwhile I take comfort in Ras Shorty I, our beloved Trinidadian Soca Music pioneer who recommended that when you are overly frustrated, overly angry that is the time to surrender and just breathe and sing the mantra,
“Om, Shanti, Om”, let it go!

You will feel happier and feel a lot less bullied by the world.

September 11, 2011

2012 Survival Kit- Masculine Feminine Imbalance- Getting Back Into Balance

We've come to the conclusion of this part of the Survival Series The African community and Diaspora are perhaps the most powerful example of what happens when you deliberately tamper with the Masculine/Feminine Balance of an entire group of people to suit the needs of conquest.

Today, the challenges (control, distrust, emotional immaturity, mercenary arrangements, lack of communication, sexual dishonesty, low self-esteem, over-dependency) that plague male-female relationships in the African/Diaspora community, yes the same ones comedians like Chris Rock, Dave Chapelle and Rachel Price cleverly highlight through humour, are like a concentrated version of the imbalance that permeates everywhere else in all other cultures and creeds.

The dysfunctional black relationship has been well explored. The factors that contribute to it, less so.

We've suffered a legacy of shame, exploitation and domination manifested as genital mutilation, forcible breeding, ripping families apart, systematic male disempowerment, systematic female dehumanization, sex-slavery and rape, systematic religious and social indoctrination in deep hatred for bodies, indigenous spirituality and sexuality. We experienced the ripping away of The Mother/Divine Feminine from our lives losing our connection to Yemanja, Oshun, Mwai Lisi and also in even more visceral ways- taking land, resources, crops, personhood right under our feet.

The imposition of Arabic and European standards of human sexuality, female beauty & virtue had disastrous consequences on the African continent. Tribes with accepting attitudes towards non-procreative and/or pre-marital sexual activities, homosexuality, polygamy, matrilineal land ownership, female shamanism reaped a world of dysfunction and disease trying to implement foreign standards.

Our societies are still slow to accept the counter-arguments against patriarchal oppression, particularly in the deeply Christian Caribbean. Black men still try to measure success and self-worth by how well they emulate colonial patriarchal ideals of dominion over the female and black women are trying to gain security and status like colonial women do by acquisition of a Daddy/Master/Provider.

Even when we try to reclaim African heritage, we continue to rate our level of self-fulfillment and gender expression based on a system that never accepted us as human in the first place. For this reason, true love, spiritual enlightenment continues to elude many of us and we continue to cannibalize one another.

The destruction of the Alpha/Divine Feminine is discussed in this lecture given by Eve Ensler, who actually gives it the nickname, “Girl” and elaborates on how we (men and women) have all destroyed the “Girl” and the consequences of doing so. Her accounts of what is happening in Africa are heartwrenching.

Now, in no way shape or form am I saying that the indigenous sexuality and gender relations in various African cultures were idyllic, perfectly enlightened and balanced before colonial occupation and the slave trade.

The ugly, less popular truth that indigenous culture apologists overlook is that imbalance already existed within African, Indian, Native American, Aboriginal and pagan European societies. If there were no weakness, our ancestors would have been far too powerful for the even more imbalanced Judeo-Christian/Abrahamic colonial powers to conquer. That is the how powerful Ishvara (The Divine State of Perfect Balance Between Masculine and Feminine) can be.

When colonialists encountered the “Barbarian ” and “New” worlds, they found that our forefathers were already infected with false pride, greed and racism/tribalism. It was easy to make this sales pitch, “Forget Mother Goddess and you will become a God like we are! Your enemies will not be able to hurt you. Your women will not be able to hold you accountable. Our religion will teach you how. Our system will teach you how.”

The ugly less popular truth is that many tribes were already losing The Mother and distracted with war and conquest and easily pitted against each other by European and Arabic powers, far more experienced in strategies of war and conquest. What made Islam, Christianity and its accompanying economic power structure particularly actually attractive to our ancestral male tribal chiefs was the military might and technology of the colonial powers gained by eliminating the check and balance of having to answer to Mother.

Colonialism was basically seasoned tyrants empowering young and upcoming tyrants to reject their Mother and once they did, they were betrayed and mired in testosterone-fuelled pissing contests. And it just so happened that the European and Arabic tyrants were more brilliant at pissing contests. But not because of innate racial or cultural superiority as often claimed by religious bigots, racists or Manifest Destiny apologists.

The seeming victory of European/Christian and Arab/Muslim colonialists had everything to do their systems of economy and governance strongly focused on over-hunting, over-harvesting and hoarding as well as an unfathomable hunger for power. Coming from the harsh wintery and/or desert plagued parts of the world, European and Middle Eastern cultures had to push harder against nature in order to survive. They suffered lack of food, warmth, sunlight, water for months. This drove the innovation of technology for conquest of nature (both land and human) by sheer necessity.

The best conquerors over Mother Earth (including her people) gained not just survival but eventually, power. Unfortunately, some used this to oppress others and institute a class system, with the upper class, becoming like vampires feeding off powerless serfs and gaining a perverted amount of power. This resulted in the envious serfs developing an unquenchable thirst to be part of the vampire class.

This vampirism also manifested in pockets in the “New World”. Caribs committed genocide against Arawaks. The Aztecs captured other tribes and literally built their empires on their blood and bones. African tribes clashed in bloodly, gut-curdling battles. Different Asian clans had spats, millennia old. The only difference is that it was far more contained, again, not because of Native Indians, Africans and South Pacific peoples being innately more compassionate than Europeans and Arabs but because they were also products of their geography.

Unlike the flatter, less obtrusive Eurasian Continent, Mediterranean, Northern Africa and Middle East which allowed the conquest and hoarding to spread, Equatorial Africa, Southern Asia, South and Central America and all the various islands had daunting geographical barriers to large-scale military invasive action.

Even Alexander The Great could not contend with rainforest, deep green gorges and sudden mountains, mile-wide rivers swollen with monsoon rains, mosquitoes and guerilla-style warfare.

There was also less of a culture of hoarding, not because these so called, “primitive” societies were less ambitious, lazy or less intelligent but because they had no geographical/cultural reason to do such things. They lived in abundant parts of the planet with year-round sunshine, lush, green forest with all its bounty, rivers and seas teaming with fish. Anything that was not consumed would rapidly rot in the hot, humid climate.

What was deemed “primitive”, "lazy" or "unlearned" was basically a common-sense, Mother-Earth Balanced, approach to survival. Travel light, take only what you need and what Mother will provide.

This balanced interdependence resulted in a spirituality where and man was not seen as higher than nature and therefore imbued with the right to absolute dominion over it. It developed a different value system about self-fulfillment as illustrated in the story below.

“And then what?”

A Wall Street Executive on vacation alighted from a luxury cruise line that just made port in a sleepy Mexican village, where fishing has been part of the culture since the time of the Mayans. It is mid-afternoon as he walks along the beach and sees a group of fishermen having a siesta under the palm trees.

“Man! That looks like the life!” he cannot help but exclaim.
“Si señor! Life is good!” says one of the fishermen.
“So are you done working for the day?” asks the Wall Street executive incredulously.
“Si señor! We get up at the crack of dawn, take the boats out. Come back mid-morning with fish, prawns, lobster for the village. Then we repair nets and then we siesta. Later we will eat a nice meal from our catch, drink tequila, play music, play cards with our amigos, enjoy family, make love to our women and sleep. Get up do it again,”

“But! You guys! You have no idea what you have here! The potential!” says the Wall Street executive, “This whole operation! It could be so much bigger if you just have some vision! Some ambition!”
The fisherman, laughs and decides to indulge the American.
“Tell me señor, what is your vision?”
“Well,” begins the Wall Street Executive, happy to share his expertise, “Instead of fishing for just four hours a day. Why not fish for eight hours! Catch more fish! Sell more fish! Make more money!”
“And then what?”
“Well, then you can buy some more boats and hire more people to fish and make more money,”
“And then what?”
“Well, you can form a fishing company, exporting fish all over the world and if it gets big enough, you can trade it on Wall Street and make millions! Billions even!” the Executive shares getting increasingly excited.
“And then what?” asks the fisherman
“Then you can retire and just relax and enjoy life and fish because you enjoy it,”
“But señor, that is what I am doing right now…with a lot less stress, less damage to the ocean and more time to spend with my woman and children. Enjoy your vacation.”

The European and Arabic colonialists saw indigenous peoples as primitive, lazy, lacking ambition and therefore undeserving of their beautiful land and ripe for plundering. “If you don’t want it! If you aren’t using it to get POWER to get MORE to get POWER to get MORE! Then by all means let ME take it!”

The rest is history.

Patriarchy’s Omega focus is not inherently evil, just as the male sex drive is not inherently evil. There must be some level of penetration and destruction for creative and innovative enterprise to be. However, the Capitalism/Colonialism Apologists who argue that their systems are superior to Communal/Naturist ones are seriously mistaken.

The survival instinct that drove Patriarchal over-hunting, over-harvesting and hoarding may have been valid at some time when we were at the mercy of wild animals, starvation, thirst and unfamiliar/unpredictable Mother Nature. But when we do not evolve spiritually as we evolve technologically, these seemingly valid feelings of lack and fear become falsehoods and lead to dysfunction.

We are still in “hoarding-mode” when there is no need for it.

The problem is not penetrating and impregnating Mother Nature. It is doing so against her will and not giving Her enough respect to allow this process to be done as She chooses so she can also maintain her balance. They don’t call it raping Mother Earth for nothing. Sure at first it feels like victory, just like dominating a woman feels like victory. But the truth is that there is not a predator alive that circumvent Mother’s bitch-slap of “No! I do not want that!” otherwise known as bio-feedback.

Everything about the way our planet is responding is just like how a woman responds when she is repeatedly humiliated, used and abused. At first she seems beaten down but there is a turning point when victim becomes avenger, prey becomes predator.

In order to regain the balance which creates the power that sustains Life, Mother Nature, will go as far as to do a kamakazi. Mother is life AND death. Mother can be re-born. She’s taken on comets, global melt-downs and ice-ages….and Life always returns because the ingredients for Life are within every spec of star-dust in the Universe. There is no Yang without the Yin. The superiority of Western, Judeo/Christian/Abrahamic cultures is just an illusion and not worth defending at the expense of human rights and the planet’s health. If we are survive another generation on this planet we must learn how to rebalance, starting with ourselves by tackling the False Fears and Lack still driving our actions.
So let’s do that now, shall we?


It ignores/forgets the Universal Law of Attraction, Consequence, Infinity, Eternity, Momentum.

(Active) Domination, possessiveness, jealousy, envy (Passive) apathy, powerlessness, self-pity, guilt

From Christ to Buddha, spiritual teachers have tried to help us unmask the illusion of “Ownership” and get it through our head that we brought nothing into this world neither can we take anything out. Every individual is on their OWN journey and has their OWN relationship with The Divine/Universe which has ultimate dominion. Therefore dominion over another is an illusion. We reap exactly what we sow and when we cannot circumvent this Universal Law, without bringing suffering to ourselves and others.

Re-balancing Your Ambitions/Ego(Men & Women)

“I am a child of the Universe. I accept that the Law of Attraction is active in my life. There is no need for me to steal, force or try to hasten the timing, quantity or quality of what I receive thereby creating imbalance and suffering in the world. I attract to me things and people in perfect balance. I become stronger in my ability to do this and feel strong, content and well esteemed. My success is real because it is based on real benchmarks of- self-mastery, selflessness, self-esteem, self-sufficiency.”

• Go without your material possessions, food, status and see if still feel good about who you are and know who you are.
• Rejoice in another’s success without feeling jealous, competitive.
• Invest in the planet in whatever way you can.

Re-balancing Your Sexual Attractions/Love (Men)

“My inner Yin soul thrives on unconditional love. I need my soul-mate/love/spouse/friend to love me for real. I do not need to seek emotional security through dishonest, disrespectful, inhumane, mercenary or domineering means. When someone gives me their love freely from a place of strength it makes me stronger.”

• Set the one you love and desire free and see if they will decide to love you without you trying to influence or destroy their freewill.
• Seek love/friendship without using pea-cockery or presenting your status as a sales pitch.
• Lose or limit your involvement with people in your life who do not love you unconditionally.
• Give love/friendship to at least one person without wanting anything back in return.

Re-balancing Your Sexual Attractions/Love (Women)

“My inner Yang soul thrives on freedom. I want my soul-mate/love/spouse/friend to allow me my self-actualization. I do not need to seek emotional security through being subservient, using my sexuality or being dishonest about how smart I am or squashing my strong opinions or dreams. I want someone who appreciates my strength.”

• Embrace your intellect, ambition, power and freedom and see if the one you love will continue to love you without you trying to dominate you.
• Seek love/friendship without using any games, hiding your personality, intelligence or power
• Lose or limit your involvement with people in your life who do not love you unconditionally.
• Give love/friendship to at least one person without wanting anything back in return.

Re-balancing Your Spirituality (Men & Women)

“The Divine is both Male and Female. Great Mother, I know now I am not a Motherless child. You are alive! You are active in my life! I will no longer ignore You. I will seek You out. Please reveal yourself to me. I will be open to Your signs. I will honor You with equal fervor as I honor Your Male Counterpart. I will show gratitude for Your blessings.”

Remember your Mother. She is there under the surface of many "God-only" traditions.

• Expand your spiritual knowledge and reclaim The Goddess. Find out who, why, how She was forgotten and destroyed and honor Her once more in whatever capacity you can.
• (For men) See the women in your life as having spiritual power in their own right and respect their words of healing, wisdom, power.
• (For women) Take up your rightful spiritual place alongside your brothers. You have spiritual power and wisdom. Use it!

The False Fear of Loss/Rejection is not the only one that causes us to go out of balance. In the next 2012 Survival Kit we will explore Fear in its entirety.

It is my hope that after the Fear Essays we will be ready to take on the challenges the future will present as the old system collapses around us and we are called to fight fearlessly (to the death if necessary) for truth, justice, equality and true freedom.