February 25, 2015

Are You Anti-Gay?

“I’m not anti-LGBT! I just don’t think they should get married!”
“I’m not anti-LGBT, I just believe that is not God’s way and if they don’t turn from their wickedness they will go to hell.”
“I’m not anti-LGBT, I just don’t want to SEE it in my face!”

Of late, the trend has been, “PLEASE ALLOW ME TO DO AND SAY HATEFUL THINGS TOWARDS A GROUP OF PEOPLE, BUT DO NOT ASSOCIATE ME WITH ANY LABEL THAT CASTS ME AS A BIGOT.” In other words, people want to be racist, sexist, homophobic and bigoted (which is totally their right by the way) but they want to be free of any negative commentary by others (totally not their right) about it. They want to say ignorant, irrational things and promote injustice and people should just smile and never be called out on it.

Well, I’m sorry that words do have meaning. Being against something is being “anti” something.  So if you are against LGBT people being LGBT; against LGBT people openly and honestly living their lives free of fear of stigma, violence and discrimination; against LGBT people being accepted or and their talents admired; against LGBT enjoying the same citizen’s and tax payer rights you enjoy then I’m sorry to say it but you are indeed anti-LGBT.  

You are also anti-LGBT if you:

  • Reject what medical science has to say about the natural complexity and diversity of gender and sexual orientation.  You believe that it was God’s/Nature’s intent that every single human on the planet be cis-gender/heterosexual, reproduction must be the be all and end all of love, relationships and sexual intimacy and must abide by strict gender roles according to some gender hierarchy system within your culture/religion.
  • Believe that any orientation outside of cis-gender/heterosexuality and/or any attempt to fulfill the human need for self-actualization, love, relationships, family life outside of cis-gender/heterosexuality, is unnatural, “fallen” and/or a deliberate sinful choice, right up there with murder, rape, lying, stealing and oath-breaking (e.g. adultery)
  • You consider those who are not cis-gendered/heterosexuals to be abhorrent human beings and believe the public laws should reflect that and be enforced even on those who do not share your religious beliefs on the matter.
  • Belong to and support anti-LGBT organizations and believe that if any LGBT person wants to join your organization they must be celibate for life or preferably (because celibate LGBT people are still treated as suspect) try to become cis-gender/heterosexual or act like it. 
  • If a LGBT person goes through the debunked, psychologically damaging and medically denounced rigors of ex-gay therapy and fails (as most do) to live as a cis-gendered/heterosexual, even if they kill themselves trying, you believe it was the fault of the LGBT person for not trying hard enough.
  • You completely deny that attitudes such as your own have been hurting and continue to hurt LGBT people. You completely deny the role of beliefs such as yours in promoting and excusing violence and inhumanity against LGBT people.

Step up and claim what you truly stand for and what you truly believe. You might as well just be honest about it.  There is no need to try to present yourself as a loving, humane and tolerant person towards LGBT people, when you are not. Even worse, stop with the “token LGBT friend” thing. Nobody is truly a friend of someone who feels that way about them.

January 17, 2015

"Don't Flaunt It In My Face!" The REAL Reason Behind Opposing Gay Marriage

If gay marriage threatens your marriage, it's probably because one of you is gay and your gay spouse is thinking, "What the hell am I doing hiding in a sham straight marriage when gay people are finding lasting love and legal recognition? Let me go find my true happiness and soul mate before I croak!"

If both of you are straight, it probably won't do a damn thing. Except increase the likelihood you will run into an gay person or couple at your PTA meeting or company barbecue. Which you always used to do by the way. You just didn't realize they were gay because they were hiding in a sham straight marriage or were the perpetual bachelor whose love life was a mystery in large part because they took care not to get too attached to anyone for too long, going instead for multiple partners. Something happens when you fall in love, stick to someone and place them above all others, in your life. That's when it gets really hard to be closeted. Living together, being seen together all the time and getting into situations where you have to speak for the other are going to raise certain questions. You will be outed! Ask a heterosexual, married couple to try and hide their relationship and spouse from the world, if they think it is so easy to do. Why do gay marriage opponents want LGBT people to hide from the world? Why their constant refrain of, "Just don't flaunt it in our faces."

Because VISIBILITY makes something become common-place and accepted over time. You know, like how you don't bat an eyelash anymore at an interracial couple. We forget it wasn't even that long ago when an interracial kiss between Captain Kirk and Uhura on prime time television caused a rain of hate mail to the studio from these "Godly" folk, claiming to be the protectors of tradition.

"The CHILDREN! Think of the CHILDREN, they were watching for goodness sake! How dare you show this filth on television!"

Viability of something that contradicts a tradition also challenges that tradition. It makes people start examining more closely what exactly are the sources of certain traditions and are they actually GOOD? The late 19th and 20th Centuries saw people starting to test and challenge the assertions of the "white", the "male", the "Judeo-Christian" powers that be. Then in the 21st Century it picked up momentum and another set of assertions by the "Arab", "male", "Islamic" powers that be, started to be challenged more rigorously as well. I know they prefer times when they were taken at their WORD about what they said is right and wrong. If they said miscegenation was wrong and the black race was inferior and backed it up with scripture they expected to be BELIEVED and their directives on that matter FOLLOWED. If they said the woman was created for the use of the man and is subservient to him and used scripture to back it up, they expected to be BELIEVED and their directives FOLLOWED. They long for their respective golden ages of supremacy, forgetting that it was not a golden age for any other demographic. They prefer times when the people they relegated to second class citizens STAYED IN THEIR PLACE! They prefer those days when the victim-less crimes they concocted to oppress people made law-breakers hide and sneak around in shame and fear of bigotry and violence.

Giving visibility to people who are rebelling against them and challenging their so-called "authority" and flouting how flimsy and false their legalities and assertions are, is like a slap in the face! It is like a salesman telling you there is no other model like his on the market and you see one drive past, proving him a liar. It is causing people to want to broaden their understanding, ask a lot of tough questions, expose contradictions and poke large holes in previously held beliefs! The powers that be have no way of dealing with their loss of dominion if this process of enlightenment were to happen. So, they are resorting to the time old method of tyranny and censorship. If something challenges their supremacy, they call it obscene and offensive or dangerous! It was exactly this kind of tyranny and censorship that gave them their power and authority. Their claim to power cannot survive an age of critical thought, widely available information and free expression. It cannot survive if gay people are living happy, healthy, honest lives, fully-integrated into society and actively making a public contribution or what they call, "Flaunting It!"