"Don't Flaunt It In My Face!" The REAL Reason Behind Opposing Gay Marriage

If gay marriage threatens your marriage, it's probably because one of you is gay and your gay spouse is thinking, "What the hell am I doing hiding in a sham straight marriage when gay people are finding lasting love and legal recognition? Let me go find my true happiness and soul mate before I croak!"

If both of you are straight, it probably won't do a damn thing. Except increase the likelihood you will run into an gay person or couple at your PTA meeting or company barbecue. Which you always used to do by the way. You just didn't realize they were gay because they were hiding in a sham straight marriage or were the perpetual bachelor whose love life was a mystery in large part because they took care not to get too attached to anyone for too long, going instead for multiple partners. Something happens when you fall in love, stick to someone and place them above all others, in your life. That's when it gets really hard to be closeted. Living together, being seen together all the time and getting into situations where you have to speak for the other are going to raise certain questions. You will be outed! Ask a heterosexual, married couple to try and hide their relationship and spouse from the world, if they think it is so easy to do. Why do gay marriage opponents want LGBT people to hide from the world? Why their constant refrain of, "Just don't flaunt it in our faces."

Because VISIBILITY makes something become common-place and accepted over time. You know, like how you don't bat an eyelash anymore at an interracial couple. We forget it wasn't even that long ago when an interracial kiss between Captain Kirk and Uhura on prime time television caused a rain of hate mail to the studio from these "Godly" folk, claiming to be the protectors of tradition.

"The CHILDREN! Think of the CHILDREN, they were watching for goodness sake! How dare you show this filth on television!"

Viability of something that contradicts a tradition also challenges that tradition. It makes people start examining more closely what exactly are the sources of certain traditions and are they actually GOOD? The late 19th and 20th Centuries saw people starting to test and challenge the assertions of the "white", the "male", the "Judeo-Christian" powers that be. Then in the 21st Century it picked up momentum and another set of assertions by the "Arab", "male", "Islamic" powers that be, started to be challenged more rigorously as well. I know they prefer times when they were taken at their WORD about what they said is right and wrong. If they said miscegenation was wrong and the black race was inferior and backed it up with scripture they expected to be BELIEVED and their directives on that matter FOLLOWED. If they said the woman was created for the use of the man and is subservient to him and used scripture to back it up, they expected to be BELIEVED and their directives FOLLOWED. They long for their respective golden ages of supremacy, forgetting that it was not a golden age for any other demographic. They prefer times when the people they relegated to second class citizens STAYED IN THEIR PLACE! They prefer those days when the victim-less crimes they concocted to oppress people made law-breakers hide and sneak around in shame and fear of bigotry and violence.

Giving visibility to people who are rebelling against them and challenging their so-called "authority" and flouting how flimsy and false their legalities and assertions are, is like a slap in the face! It is like a salesman telling you there is no other model like his on the market and you see one drive past, proving him a liar. It is causing people to want to broaden their understanding, ask a lot of tough questions, expose contradictions and poke large holes in previously held beliefs! The powers that be have no way of dealing with their loss of dominion if this process of enlightenment were to happen. So, they are resorting to the time old method of tyranny and censorship. If something challenges their supremacy, they call it obscene and offensive or dangerous! It was exactly this kind of tyranny and censorship that gave them their power and authority. Their claim to power cannot survive an age of critical thought, widely available information and free expression. It cannot survive if gay people are living happy, healthy, honest lives, fully-integrated into society and actively making a public contribution or what they call, "Flaunting It!"

Religion vs. Spiritual Enlightenment

The spiritual journey must begin with a quest for truth. But you first need to understand, “What is truth?” before you go looking for it.

The problem for most people is that their spiritual journey does not begin from this motivation or at all. Many people’s spiritual journey through life is happening to them like an affair behind their back. They have not the wit or will to see it. That’s because for most people, the only spirituality they know, comes to them as a pre-packaged and moderately priced religious/cultural window.

How this window, through which they will gaze out at the world, comes to them depends all on the lottery of chance which will put them in a certain geographical region and race/culture.  Keep in mind the “window” is the “religion” and the humans’ “gaze” and “ability to process what we see” out of that window is the REAL MEAT, the “spiritual” part of the experience.

No matter what part of the world you are born into and which window you gaze out of, you will be most likely taught two things:

One- The window provided to you by the lottery of your birth is unquestionably the best window to gaze out of the world and all other windows are inferior! You are, merely by the accident of your birth, superior to someone else and you should feel tremendous reassurance and self-worth about that. In some cases, so much self-worth you have Manifest Destiny and Divine Authority to do as you please to whom you please.

Two- The rest of your self-worth and your entire sense of purpose will derive from the following categories of “hierarchies of superiority”- financial class, gender, race, physical/mental ability. What about emotional ability? Ah, that does not even warrant consideration. It’s sentimentality, self-indulgence and weakness!

Note that our current order of human value puts physical and mental ability at the very bottom of that priority list. It does not even consider the value of our capacity to empathize, extend love, affection and a sense of self-worth and belonging. We rather judge other people on characteristics determined largely by the lottery of chance while calling ourselves “meritocracies”.

When you hear Dr. Martin Luther King’s words about being judged by the “content of one’s character” above all else, he’s literally handing humankind the key to their liberation from false hierarchies of race, class and gender.  It has imprisoned us for thousands of years. Now it’s time for a new age where we focus on the only things that matter in human beings- physical, emotional and mental ability.

Yes, we need all three! This is the trinity of what constitutes our character. When people start focusing on this…when it because it becomes THE STANDARD by which we determine roles, responsibilities and rewards, it will become easier to identify defective characters and intervene the same way we do regarding things like Climate Change and Poverty.

This area of our humanity has been neglected for thousands of years.  There’s a lot of unhealed emotional/psychological trauma. Many humans are predisposed to violence (inwardly or outwardly expressed) or lack empathy. Not all of them are guided by superior intellect and a strict internal moral code like BBC’s high functioning sociopath, Sherlock. They are the bullies and murderers clogging our prisons. Or worse, for in our world of badly prioritized value systems we have allowed many of these defective humans to ascend to echelons of power provided they have an IQ and appetite big enough. Psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists have made the world in their image.  

However, more of us are realizing that blind, predatory ambition to consume and expand with no check and balance of the physical ramifications (environmental destruction/disease); the emotional ramifications (low self-esteem, desperation, apathy) and the mental implications (de-evolution to a primitive mental state) is not mammalian or even human, it is viral, like Agent Smith pointed out to Neo in the movie The Matrix.

Some of us can see this so clearly yet others, cannot. The reason? They are staring out of the world through the blurry “window” of some religion. That’s why religion (and all other forms of false hierarchy) needs to be deprioritized. They protect the very systems holding back mankind from pure enlightenment, forever delaying the brotherhood of man in our shared imagination.

In places plagued by warring religious supremacist ideologies, gender oppression, class division and injustice, the people suffering need to perfect their “gaze” and “ability to process what they see”. They need to be taught critical thinking along with mathematics, science and grammar. They need to be taught how to empathize and take ethical action from that place of empathy. Clearly, their religion is not going to teach them this, not necessarily. Only scientific evidence and spiritual truth working their respective roles can do that. 

Answering Anti-Gay Biblical Literalists- Part One- Understanding Their Side

They look (with a mixture of revulsion and pity) at the quiet, creative, effeminate teenager or the out of the closet news anchor or you and your life partner minding your own business. Although you did not ask for their opinion or even care to hear it, they feel it necessary to declare, “Homosexuality is a sin! The BIBLE SAYS SO!”

Of course, they are entitled to their opinion.

Free belief and free speech are fundamental rights. But so too is everyone’s right to a private family life, equality under the law and freedom to love, live, be productive and happy, at least in most civilized, western democracies.

The problem is that many anti-gay biblical literalists claim that you, as an LGBT person do not deserve to enjoy those aforementioned human rights, at least not while living as your sexuality dictates. Since they cannot make a valid case scientifically, sociologically, civilly and legally that the equally valid and happy existence of LGBT people will rob anyone else of their fundamental rights or ruin the planet, they are left with one last resort. You are not only making them uncomfortable, especially if they have to explain society’s acceptance of you to their children, you are making God very pissed off!

In fact, they claim that every time you feel attraction, get a crush, fall in love or make love, God gets madder and madder with you.  Some will even go as far as to say that living your life honestly is the gravest sin of sins. How do they intend to prove this is actually true? By using the bible, which they claim is God’s infallible word and the final authority on everything that exists, everything we could ever do or conceive of doing, even things the bronze-aged men who wrote it had no concept of in their time. And so, armed with this assertion and the 66 books, they go campaigning for punitive action against LGBT people at worst or at best quoting biblical verses out of good intentions with the hope it will cause you to feel just as they do.

How do you deal with such people? How do you answer them? Why bother answering them at all?

Well the bible-thumpers who are impassioned, virulent, unstable and clearly beyond reasoning I would indeed recommend ignoring them and if their actions go beyond free expression and descend into harassment, they should be met with zero tolerance.

But many who express their biblical objections to LGBT people are not foaming at the mouth or picketing the funerals of soilders. They condemn gays and lesbians with smiling civility and purport to be reasonable people with no hate in their heart. Lately such people are also met with zero tolerance and many gay activists and their supporters would argue, rightfully so especially when these “love the sinner hate the sin” types inconsiderately and some would say irresponsibly express their courteous condemnations at inappropriate times for example in public response to gay teen suicide and bullying.

After the spate of gay suicides and bullying of gay teens, certain spokespeople took the opportunity to inappropriately blame the victims for being homosexual. The complete lack of empathy on their part was even more gut-curdling than the foaming at the mouth Gods Hates Fags people because it was done often with a big smile.

Some dismiss anti-gay bible thumpers because they find their presumption and lack of perspective ludicrous. After all, isn’t the Old Testament just another set of myths, skewed history, illogical and chronologically flawed writings by bronze aged, tribesmen who did not even know that the earth revolved around the sun and microorganisms caused diseases? Was not the New Testament compiled by a corrupt, politically motivated Roman Catholic Church Empire in an attempt to forge a new imperial religion that could render Judaism defunct and compete with the Sun-worship and incarnating blood sacrificing deities of the pagans they wished to conquer? Obviously the people who believe the bible is the infallible, direct word of God must be just a little…well, nuts. Right?

Although this atheistic response is au current in most developed first world nations, here in the Caribbean, people still place a great deal of authority on holy texts, particularly the bible. They will not be dismissed so easily with a Bill Maher or Christopher Hitchens quote. This approach is also unhelpful in elevating and enlightening the continued dialogue on the subject. Nothing ever gets resolved. Instead, both sides simply dig in deeper with greater resentment and over-defensiveness.

Shutting down debate by degrading the bible accomplishes nothing.

In a previous essay on Bullying, I mentioned that a fear of delving into contentious debate when someone says, “Well God’s word says…” and simply going the route of censorship will degrade our society into a bunch of sissies who cannot deal with differences of opinion nor critically weigh two opposing views without feeling threatened and persecuted.

I have taken on bible thumpers in person, on live radio, in letters to the editor of newspapers, in online chat rooms and discussion boards and I have never once had to resort to threats, ad hominem or other fallacious arguments. Perhaps the reason why I am able to do this is because I feel no resentment towards the bible or bible believers.  It may not seem that way to them though. Many Christians who chance upon my blog get bent out of shape. But I am not defaming the individual believer. If any religion claims to have an absolute monopoly on truth and God’s favor, you cannot blame one for questioning and criticizing the existence of atrocious, ignorant or powerless manifestations within that religion.

I was made to read the bible over and over while growing up in a staunch evangelical household and I have found, despite all the flaws and atrocities great universal truths in both the Hebrew and Greek scriptures. So too have a lot of people, spiritual and not. You do not have to be a legalistic fundamentalist Christian in order to appreciate the bible. In fact, I have found that being a legalistic, fundamentalist Christian may actually hinder a deeper appreciation of the bible because you are made to treat it with kid gloves and operate on many false assumptions which the theologically trained clergy hesitate to dissuade you, even if they know you are not seeing things for what they really are.

I still meet Christians today who truly believe that the apostles Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were the literal authors of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

As an A student of Literature all the way up to Cambridge A Levels, this treatment of the scriptures bugged me no end. You see, on the one hand, I was being taught at school that in order to truly understand and appreciate any written work, you had to take the gloves off and tear into it. 

Only with the bible are we asked to abandon all reason and treat it like a mystical object.

In order to understand Shakespeare and Chaucer, I first had to glean an appreciation of old English and the idiomatic meanings of words. I had to understand the Middle Ages, the society, the culture and commonly held beliefs subjective to the time. At no time did my teacher give a pre-arranged doctrine about Hamlet or A Knight’s Tale and then taught me how to apologetically defend it with selective quotes. Instead, I was made to discover the writing on its own merit. This was a far cry from how the bible was being taught during bible study. It was not “study” in the purest sense of the word, but indoctrination and regurgitation which made me, like most Christians, woefully biblically illiterate.

I am telling you this because if you choose to reason with a bible quoting condemner of homosexuality, instead of dismissing them or censoring them, you must first understand what it means to be biblically illiterate. In fact there are Four Biblical Illiteracy Factors.

Bible Illiteracy Factor 1

A person who is biblically illiterate pays no heed to the type of translation they use or the process by which it now sits in their hand. As far as they are concerned, it is the Living Word made paper…and leather and ink. With this book, they can speak for God himself in plain English. In fact, they act as if that was the original language of the writers. They can tell others right now of what God thinks RIGHT NOW about anything, anyone, any situation. For this book is the very mind of God. And it only costs around $30 (unless you get a free copy)and weighs less than a pound. They truly believe that the Almighty Being who created the entire Universe can be predicted, quoted and represented by just opening this book.

Even if the bible were infallible what makes people so presumptuously certain that their understanding of it is also infallible? Not even the most accomplished student of literature ever claims to know exactly the mind of the human author whose work they spend a lifetime examining, far less a tome written by a Higher Intelligence.

Certain Christians use the bible in order to present themselves as the spokespeople for God who have intimate knowledge of God's mind, opinions, future plans on everything and everyone.

Most Christians who approach the bible in this way have no idea that this fetish-like, magic 8 ball relationship with the scriptures is actually a very recent thing in Christian history. In fact, you can bet that if someone views the bible this way, they also are entirely ignorant about the history of the Christian faith.

Biblical Illiteracy Factor 2

A person who is biblically illiterate is not very concerned with what bible verses ACTUALLY MEAN. They are only concerned about what bible verses SAY when they need certain things SAID in order to confirm the particular doctrine or social tradition they were taught alongside the bible.

I will use the example of the social tradition of corporal punishment. In order to defend it, many will quote verses like: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” Proverbs 13:24 or “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15.

At first glance certain verses in the bible do seem to SAY that beating your child with a rod is a good thing. But is that really what these verses MEAN?

Dig just a little deeper into the Hebrew language, culture, poetic metaphors common at the time and you will discover that the word for rod or staff is shebet. It is actually a crooked staff used by shepherds to manage their flock. Now, shepherds do not beat the sheep with the rod but use the crooked staff to hook a wayward sheep by the neck and guide it back where it belonged. As a result of this cultural practice, the word shebet was also commonly used as a metaphor for wisdom or authority.  When in Exodus, it says that Moses was told by God that “with this staff you will lead the people out of Egypt,” it does not mean the literal shebet but the figurative shebet- with this wisdom and authority you will lead the people out of Egypt.

 Proverbs is a book filled with metaphors and that is why its writer can say, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.” Proverbs 23:13. If indeed the bible is true, this scripture can only makes sense if the rod is a symbolic one, after all every year, thousands of children die from being beaten with “rods of correction”.

Human life is lost when people do not take the time to understand a book they claim to be God’s word.

Unfortunately, for the biblically illiterate, understanding what the bible MEANS, is too tedious a process. You have to get hold of a Hebrew and Greek concordance, read up biblical scholars, Jewish scholars, anthropology and archeology that reveal the context of the writing, the culture of the people, cross-reference with similar writings for clarification. Too much work for the intellectually lazy! Others who are not lazy are simply not equipped to do the research or have been told they don’t have to go through all that trouble. Which brings us to the next factor of biblical illiteracy you must understand before you engage in debate.

Biblical Illiteracy Factor 3

The biblical illiterate believe that they will be mystically bestowed accurate understanding. Even with just a second grade education they CAN BE A BIBLE EXPERT.

If it requires special spiritual powers to understand the bible and two equally sincere people claiming to have received those powers from God after sincerely praying yet have come away with two entirely different understandings of the same verse, which one do you believe? 

What is amazing is that so many never wonder how come the holy spirit always seems to guide them exactly where their pastor wants them to be. When someone tells you, “I was guided by holy spirit to understand this scripture, so you must believe me!” or “If you were guided by holy spirit, you will understand things exactly the same way I am trying to show you,” what they are actually saying is that you must put your faith in them without asking them the obvious question: “How do you know it was actually the holy spirit guiding you or the pastor/priest/reverend that taught you? How do you prove it could not possibly be any other emotion, mental state or trigger? What faculties do you use to distinguish the difference?”

The irony is, many bible believers will tell you how unreliable things like logic and science are but what they offer as a superior methodology to enlightenment is actually entirely subjective. Call me an arrogant, elitist intellectual all you like for wanting things to be a little more definitive and objective when it will be used to dictate how others live their lives and what human rights they enjoy.

 

We trust evidence over speculation in almost every aspect of our daily life including a court of law. We need to have things proven beyond a shadow of a doubt in order to justify any action we take that will rob someone of their freedom or life or else it does not sit well on our conscience

 

You and I were given the ability to reason, discover solid laws and depend on them enough to explore space and perform open heart surgery. Why would an Almighty Being feel threatened by our exercise of the faculties it gave us? Yes, knowledge is power but no amount of empowerment we achieve could ever intimidate a truly Almighty Being that is also supposed to be benevolent. The human custodians of religion on the other hand, well, that is another story. The empowerment of their fellowmen is often the last thing on their agendas and they inculcate their followers in being forever dependent and disempowered.

 

Does a human grandfather feel threatened when his grandchild makes her first steps or does he instead feel proud and happy?

I hope you fully understand the factors at play in many of those who come at you with their biblical justifications for why LGBT people should be treated as second class citizens. Once you do, you are ready to learn how to reply to them. Knowing one’s opponent in any battle and that includes philosophical debate is very important and that is why the best rebuttals to this argument come from those who actually KNOW THEIR BIBLE and sadly most do not, on both sides of the issue.

Even among those who do know and can stand up to anti-gay biblical literalists with solid bible-based rebuttals, a kind of weariness sets in after a while when you have to make the same argument over and over again. But do not stop! Your counteraction is very important. Why?

Well, it is important for two reasons. I mentioned one earlier. Nobody’s holy text should be used as justification for robbing another human being of their fundamental human right to a private family life, equality under the law and freedom to love, live, be productive and happy if that person in no way threatens the fundamental human rights of anyone else.

The second reason is even more important and I warn you, I am about to use some fighting words. Here it goes:

Anti-gay biblical literalists are hypocrites.

 

They may not be consciously aware that they are acting like Pharisees but they are. You may have noticed that I said earlier that there are Four Biblical Illiteracy Factors but so far I only mentioned three. I saved the fourth for last.

Biblical Illiteracy Factor 4

All biblical illiterate people inadvertently find themselves cherry-picking, back-tracking , falling into inconsistencies and failing to carry the same burdens they try to load upon the shoulders of others.

For example, they have no problem cherry-picking Leviticus 18:20 out of the 613 Mosaic Laws in order to condemn sexually active (and even celibate, virginal) homosexual men and teens. They will even use it to get the Government to take punitive action against adult, consensual, relationships, even committed ones lasting many years. But ask these same people why they do not also follow the other 612 laws. How come they do not ask the Government to enact the death penalty against people who work on the Sabbath or quarantine menstruating women or declare themselves unclean after a wet dream or stone children who throw an expletive filled temper tantrum? Why do they eat shrimp and tuck into the Christmas ham with gusto every year?

This is the main reason why we must engage and answer anti-gay literalists. They are being dishonest not only with themselves but all of society. The same honesty that made you live your life truthfully despite persecution and rejection is what should drive you to set the hypocrite…straight.

The same unflappable need to be honest that made you come out of the closet even if it meant waiting generations before the rest of society learned to be tolerant, should make you fight hypocristy when you find it.

 

Next installment, we will show how the Old Testament or Hebrew Scriptures, namely: Genesis 19 (The Story Of Sodom), The Mosaic Law and Kings are wrongly utilized in order to condemn LGBT people today. In the installment after that, we will explore the New Testament.

Stay tuned!  

Warning Signs Of A Harmful Cult

The next installment of the Survival Kit Series is being worked upon, I promise.

Would you be able to tell right now whether the group to which you belong, whether religious or secular was a dangerous cult? After all, basic group dynamics that prioritize conformity are at play in almost every organization. Is there an objective method to differentiate innocuous groups from cultic or extremist ones that seek to deprive individuals of an unreasonable amount of their autonomy and power?

Yes.

Below are some warning signs that can help you reasonably determine whether or not a group is likely to be a destructive cult, and if you should be concerned about a friend, co-worker, or loved one or even yourself.

Now chances are that you will find at least one or two warning signs may apply to most groups and organizations. This is normal as belonging to any cohesive social group naturally requires at least some level of individual compromise on certain freedoms.

The key is the extent of compromise being asked and for what purpose? In my opinion, if MORE THAN TWO of the warning signs presented below apply to your group, your red flag should go up immediately. It may not necessarily mean that you are in a destructive cult but you are certainly in a high-control group that may rob you of your self-autonomy and self-actualization if you let it.

Try to be as objective as possible and ask yourself if the following criteria apply to the group you are concerned about.

1. Total control of its members' behaviour.
Cults are likely to dictate in great detail not only what members believe, but also what members wear and eat, when and where members work, sleep, and bathe, and how members think, speak, and conduct familial, marital, or sexual relationships. You are strongly discouraged from pursuing your unique talents and ambitions. Doing what is best for your individual needs and circumstances and thinking for yourself using your own common sense, is strongly discouraged. To outsiders members of your group are like clones of one another acting and speaking the same way, using special language and symbolism exclusive only to members of the cult.

2. Lack of privacy for members but total privacy for management
Members are urged not only to be obedient within the cult and carefully follow the rules but are also encouraged to be overly revealing and honest within the group. You are urged to refrain from keeping secrets and must constantly confess all to the leaders, even telling the intimate secrets of other members. Tattle-tailing is rewarded and encouraged. You cannot somehow have your “own private business” or “private family life”. Members pry, interrogate and instigate themselves in your life all the time and you have no space, no room to just be.

Meanwhile, the inner workings at the top levels of the group regarding things like appointments, finances and decisions that affect the entire group are kept strictly under wraps. The rank and file have no idea how or why certain decisions are made. They just are! And all must comply or else.

Are you feeling like you are losing your identity?

3. Dishonesty
While full-disclosure is encouraged inside the group, outside the group the members are encouraged to be secretive and even dishonest, especially in defence of the group or leaders of the group. You may be encouraged to act unethically by manipulating outsiders or non-members by not being forthcoming about the true experience within the group, especially when trying to attract new members. Things that most would find unpleasant, offensive and objectionable are sugar-coated or hidden until it is too late and the convert has already sealed their commitment in some way.

4. Suspicious double standards
Even though your group may claim all must abide by one set of ethics you clearly see that there is a pecking order and levels of justice and freedom depending on hierarchy or other forms of classification. Undue amount of sacrifices may be asked of the lower rank and file in the group, like living frugally, avoiding certain diversions, celibacy, abandoning or altering their families, friends, and careers to suit the group. Yet the higher ups in the group seem to enjoy special dispensation from these sacrifices.

5. An over-emphasis on recruiting new members and fund-raising.
Many altruistic movements, established religions, and other honourable groups also recruit and raise funds. However, these actions are incidental to improving the lives of its members, community and of humankind in general. Destructive groups on the other hand are obsessed with recruiting and fund-raising. Their goal is clearly to increase the prestige and often the wealth of the leader or group of leaders. The followers' possessions, money, time, and lives become totally wrapped up in furthering the cause of the cult and they spend a disproportionate amount of their time and resources recruiting new members. Successful recruiters are rewarded either financially or given more respect and rank within the group.


6. Exclusive and isolationist
The group presents itself as the ONLY viable system for change that will solve life's problems or the world's ill or the ONLY true path. You spend most of your time learning how to defend this stance instead of actually examining the validity of the “absolute” claims of the leader and the cult. You are either physically, emotionally or mentally isolated from the rest of the world- sometimes all three. You are encouraged not to have any meaningful social interaction with anyone outside the group, even family members. You are encouraged to see the cult as “special”, “privileged” and the rest of the world as misguided, evil and doomed.

7. Subtly or strongly discourages questioning, investigation
Natural doubt and curiosity is seen as disobedience or “lack of faith”. You are forbidden from reading, watching or interacting with sources of different information or challenging information. Certain limitations are placed on academic study, children are indoctrinated early and are then kept ignorant about anything different or outside the teachings of the cult or are told such things are “totally evil” and taught to fear them. Any discussion or interchange with different views or outside media is strongly discouraged. Various forms of pressure are used to illicit total compliance. You do not feel free or able to have a different opinion without fearing some kind of reprisal. You do not feel free to interact with people of differing views, beliefs, cultures etc. You feel scared, frustrated and flustered when you question anything you have been taught.

8. Authoritarian in its power structure.
The leader/s of the group is regarded as the supreme authority and members are discouraged from questioning their actions or do not feel emboldened to do so. Power may be delegated to subordinates but it is for the purpose of seeing that members adhere to the leader's wishes. There is no appeal outside the leader’s power system to any greater system of justice. If you are ill-treated within the group, you are discouraged from going outside for help. Injustice or conflicts resulting in loss or bodily harm are kept hush-hush. Members police one another to be submissive to the power structure, anyone caught “bad-mouthing” a superior is quickly reported (See No. 2) because the leaders are seen to have some kind of special divine knowledge, revelation or power that set them apart from others and exempts them from human scrutiny.

9. Counter-intuitive or dangerous requests made.
Last but not least, any group that asks you to accept as true something that is clearly (scientifically, historically, ethically) untrue or asks you to do anything that will bring serious harm or bring death to yourself or another for any reasons other than legally justified self-defense is not to be trusted.

What to do if you or someone you love is at risk?
If you know someone who belongs to a group that demonstrates at least FOUR OR MORE of these warning signs- THEY ARE DEFINATELY IN A DANGEROUS CULT. How destructive depends on how many more of these warning signs the cult exhibits. The Branch Davidians (David Koresh) for example demonstrated all nine signs.

If you have serious reason to suspect your loved one is in a cult, remember that while your suspicions may be justified, the person you care about may see things very differently. Their judgement of the situation has been impaired by dependency, peer pressure, emotional blackmail and mind control. It’s you, the outsider who has the most objective view of what is going on and will notice changes in their personality and glaring forms of manipulation. But they won't and you will be tempted to jump in, guns a blazing to the rescue.

Stop!

Here are three dos and donts for helping a person trapped in a cult:

DONT: Say or do anything to make the person feel ashamed or hurt for choosing the cult. Many cults pre-empt family or friend objections by telling converts to expect persecution. Your stern condemnation of your friend or loved one will be seen as persecution and you will be reinforcing in their mind that the cult was right! And while you “persecute” your loved one, the cult will be there to comfort them and gain solidarity in “shared suffering”. Who do you think your loved one will trust afterwards?

DO: Offer unconditional love and support. It will be hard but try to keep your cool and phrase your objections in the form of open-ended, calmly delivered questions that prompt their inner evaluation. For example:

Isn’t it curious that they do not want you to read any opposing information? I always thought it is smarter to hear both sides of an argument before making a decision. If I was ever in court, I would certainly hope the jury deciding my fate was open to hearing both sides of the story. What about you?

DONT: Attack the cult directly or make it all about the cult or its leader. They probably have already programmed your loved one to become defensive on their behalf. This is not about the cult , not really. The cult is just the end result, a symptom of a deeper issue lurking within your friend or family member. That issue may be their self-esteem, their intellectual capacity, their coping skills with life’s challenges, their need to belong, their need to have a purpose in life. Just like a drug addict, that cult is the substitute for something.

DO: Hone in and then try to heal the source of weakness, dysfunction, hurt, pain, loneliness, confusion that has made your family member or loved one vulnerable to a cult. In their evangelizing/recruitment preparation, many cults encourage their proselytizers to seize on any opportunities presented by people who have suffered loss and/or are in a weakened state. When someone is hurt, scared and alone, they are not in a mental or emotional position to make good judgements and ask rational questions. How many of us could resist being bombarded by love, charity and acceptance by a total stranger when we were in a weakened state? Cults are the vultures feeding off family road-kill. So pay attention to your friends and family and their well-being. If you don’t, I guarantee that someone less savoury else will.

The "black sheep" that does not get love, acceptance and understanding from their family and friends is an easy target for cults

DONT: Wait or doubt the signs you see or be fooled by little positive changes like stopping certain vices or addictions or their new convert “euphoria”. Parents who lost children to cults recall how, “I was skeptical and I knew the group was shady but she seemed so happy! After being involved in drugs and unhealthy living, I thought she finally put her life together!”

Political correctness is another dangerous delayer of proper action. Yes, we should all have freedom of religion and you do not want to be a accused of being a bigot or intolerant but religious freedom is NOT AN EXCUSE for someone to be harmed. Many fearing the "intolerant" brush shied away from taking action until it was too late. There are UNIVERSAL signs of somebody being manipulated againt their knowledge or will and guided to give away all their power. These signs DO NOT LIE! Take action! Deal with the accusations later.

DO: Be unrelenting until your friend or loved one is free! Always keep the lines open. Be prepared for that phone call in the night, “I need help! I am scared! Come and get me!” and be prepared to act right away. In fact, if you know the situation is truly bad (6 to 9 signs of a cult), don’t even wait for the phone call. Sometimes physical intervention and extrication is needed and therapy will come later.

There may be certain cases where swift physical intervention may be justified. Families who managed to get their children out of the David Koresh cult before the Waco incident do not regret taking drastic action.


If you are reading this and it strikes home that it’s you who is in a cult, you are fortunate to still have your wits about you.

Do not feel ashamed because you suspect that you have fallen prey to a cult. Shame often leads to a defensive attitude as you try to take your power back by justifying your choice. Master manipulators know that a secretly insecure, defensive group members are loyal members. The more time you spend defending your choice, the less time you spend looking at it critically. That is why cults always need a ‘Them” to their “Us” to keep their members distracted with being on the defense.

Look, even intelligent, confident, decent and accomplished people have fallen prey to cults. It could happen to anyone. You are not a bad person. You are not a stupid person. Remember, these groups and their masterminds are well rehearsed in taking advantage of people who are either deeply wounded by trauma, going through a difficult situation or desperately searching for the meaning of life. Most of us are not taught how to withstand such tactics as a vital part of our upbringing, so we often have no way of even suspecting we are being sucked into a pyramid scheme, sexually exploitative pit or a position as a clueless political pawn. Most of all, it is our nature to want to believe the best about others. It comforts, reassures and keeps us sane.

The only reason some of us are now more vigilant is because of being a former victim. Trust me it is not because we are better people than you or anyone else.

Take heart, you can still find wholesome fellowship to enrich your life, offer you comfort and shelter as you seek for the answers to life’s deepest questions. Just be careful and always alert for signs (blatant and subtle) of manipulation (emotional, mental, social), injustice, invasion of freedom and suppression of individuality.

And remember, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT TO BE ABLE TO THINK FREELY, SPEAK FREELY, QUESTION, INVESTIGATE, MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND AND WALK AWAY FREELY FROM ANY ORGANIZATION WITHOUT FEAR ANYTIME YOU CHOOSE! Nobody is your master! Do not let anyone make you forget it!

If you would like more information on how to deal with destructive cults or mind control, here is a good place to start.

Religion vs. Hollywood

It starts with your need to safeguard our children and a desire to promote wholesome, life-affirming values and develop the intellect, empathy and artistic appreciation of our society. This desire makes you sit and pay attention to the voices of religious critics of Hollywood. So you initially feel drawn to read Brent Bozell III’s blog and decentfilms.com.

It ends when you realize the “Family Friendly” common ground you thought you shared with the religious critics disguises another mission entirely.
What mission is that? Well it becomes rather obvious after a while.

All Must Serve Our Objectives

All religious fundamentalists would prefer if all forms of artistic expression acted in service of their doctrines, values and their preferred socio-economic/political paradigm.

Just like Al Jezera acts in service of fundamentalist Muslim doctrines and values, in our western society, the Christian fundamentalists want Hollywood to do the same. In a society that promises free speech and free enterprise, they cannot compete with Hollywood’s volume and mass audience. So, the only way is to seek to infiltrate and plagiarize. When that does not work, they use boycotts and when that does not work, they seek to overthrow the entire industry by seeding mass suspicion of Hollywood through constant condemnation.

Why do religious entities have this far-fetched presumption that artistic expression should serve them?

Well, who says it’s far-fetched? At one point in time, all art did was serve religion.

When Religion Owned And Dictated Everything



There was a time when religious advancement was the only purpose for which art would be sanctioned, whether music, drama, poetic verse, art, sculpture and architecture. It was not just art but any discipline which could influence the individual materially, intellectually, physically, socio-politically or emotionally. The religious empires must have realised early one that if one controlled these aspects, it was easier to also influence the spiritual lives of human beings.
From the Middle East to Europe, religion controlled everything, from finance to scientific research and education to the practice of medicine to law to governance to philosophy and of course art.

This was not the case everywhere though.

Art for art’s sake was already practiced in many parts of the East in ancient Japan, China and India and among many indigenous cultures that did not view the physical world as less “hallowed” than the spiritual world but a valid continuation of it. Creativity was recognized as Divine expression and there was just as much reverence for a poem about the cherry blossoms as there was for a song about the Goddess that created them. The act of being creative was seen as a spiritual act no matter if the art created was inspired by religion, sex or nature. The first European visitors to the Orient were astounded by the vibrancy, the colour, the creative energy that seemed to effuse every waking moment.



Back in church ruled Europe, a composer was expected to compose religious music. A painter was expected to be commissioned by the Church. Anything outside of that was considered “folk”, “heathen” and severely censored. In Islamic territories art and what could be represented, written or composed was restricted even more. The hand, heart and head were intended to serve God in everything. Of course the catch is, “God” and “the man-made religious bureaucracy” were essentially one and the same thing. If you dared to question that, it would be the gallows, chopping block, stoning hill, iron maiden or pyre for you!

However, man would soon discover that religion was not the ultimate source of truth and fulfillment of the material, intellectual, physical, socio-political or emotional needs of mankind.

Religious Control Challenged



It happened with science (intellectual & physical) first when people like Galileo saw that science was its own authority. The laws that govern our universe cannot be religiously mandated or interpreted only through a narrow religious doctrine from an ancient “holy” book. Of course, he paid an awful price for challenging the Church on their inaccurate stance about the sun revolving around the earth.
Other disciplines that quickly followed were medicine (intellectual & physical) and the discovery of germs and rejection of demons being the cause of illness. Next came governance, law, philosophy (intellectual & socio-political) which re-birthed (it was already born in Greece centuries ago) the concept of democracy, equality, just cause, trial by jury and paved the way for our secular (Church is separate from State) societies today.

Once we began objective research, observation of the human condition and governance of human society free from religious superstition and supposition, art, which is a reflection of life, quickly followed.



Art for art’s sake took off during the Renaissance. By the time the Post Revolutionary Bohemian movement and Age of Reason dawned, it was already fully emancipated from the Church. New doorways opened as absinthe, marijuana and opium found their way into the intellectual and artistic communities of Europe. It finally dawned on Europeans that that just like philosophy and science, art can, all by itself be a means of seeking, questioning and answering the deepest dilemmas of the universe without any slavish devotion to religion. If a person was creative enough to explore independently, truth and enlightenment would find them eventually.
In Islamic societies, the restrictions remained and still remain to this day.



The religious war against artistic expression and fight for ultimate control of it is fully demonstrated by the Muslim Fundamentalists in Somalia want to ban all music because it is “un-Islamic”.

The religious establishment hates competition.

Although most denominations gave up the battle for science and medicine, they are still fighting for control of the way we govern ourselves, think about ourselves, think about others, relate to others and how we express all of this through art.
The ascendance of art as its own authority presented a challenge to the religious status quo, especially because artistic expression in all its forms proved to be a profound, popular and powerful influencer and trigger rivaling even religious devotion. Can you imagine the affront when people began flocking to the theatre more than they did to the churches and leaving vast sums of money to the arts? Can you imagine the outrage when people got moral lessons from plays by Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde instead of their parish priest?

Artistic expression has the power to evoke the same emotional high and spiritual transcendence on which religious devotion once had the monopoly.

Art has no master and no limits. Painters, musicians, playwrights, sculptors and writers began setting their imagination free and it would not be long before they imagined worlds where religion did not figure and situations where the morality expounded by religion was inferior to bourgeoning human wisdom. Art was universal, anarchic and a tool available to radicals to challenge the status quo on which religion depends.

When moving images (motion picture) and the industry around it was discovered and implemented it was not by devout Christians or Muslims. The founders of Hollywood’s top studios were worldly, Deistic, atheistic, Masonic or Jewish. The new art-form was founded in a still young country whose founding fathers lay the foundation for a New World where no religious belief was to be given special dispensation by the State. All were guaranteed free speech as they were freedom of belief.

The founders of Hollywood’s top studios, Warner Bros, Twentieth Century Fox, Paramount, Columbia were not devout Christians or Muslims.

A war between religion and Hollywood for the hearts and minds of people was inevitable.

Hollywood is certainly not the only or most perfect model of independent, revolutionary artistic expression. Fundamentalist Christians and Muslims also protest visual art exhibitions, literature, television, plays and music that do not serve their interests. However Hollywood is the most powerful force of artistic exploitation and conveyance in our world. It also refuses to aid the survival of the religious status quo even though that was not how their relationship started off.

How The Relationship Went Sour



There was a time when Hollywood took the religious preferences and status quo of America very seriously.

There was a time when Hollywood still pandered heavily to religion and the status quo police in America. It not only produced scores of religious films which brought fantastic tales of the bible to life, it often found itself presenting to America a picture of herself that was not actually true or even right. The fifties were not as wholesome as Hollywood portrayed. Fortunately, not all art-forms in the 1950s fell short of authenticity. The literature, poetry, art and underground music of that time revealed women suffering in quiet desperation; no longer content to be girly, subservient sycophants. The happy dancing “negroes” content to be the help was not the norm. Young people weren’t just chastely kissing in the backseat while listening to Perry Cuomo and America was not doing heroic things abroad in Africa and Asia. A storm more chaotic than a Jackson Pollock painting was brewing.



Many who over-depended on Hollywood were caught completely off-guard by the civil rights, women’s and hippie movement. The new rock and roll rebellious culture seemed to come out of nowhere. Then, all of a sudden, rather than censure it, Hollywood started to embrace the youth culture, new age thinking and changing status quo. That was a betrayal many conservative Christians still have not forgiven. In fact there seemed to be a new fraction in Hollywood that became almost desperate to regain authenticity and be the voice of the young and innovative instead of the voice of the establishment.



Hollywood chose to embrace the changing culture rather than cling to the establishment and instantly won lifelong enemies among America’s conservative values base.

This would only add to the outrage and post traumatic stress disorder of many from that “Good Ole 50’s” generation who had their comforting status quo rug unexpectedly and violently pulled from beneath them. The same outraged voices who protested Elvis’ swinging hips and white Petula Clark singing with black Harry Belafonte during primetime television are the forbearers of the anti-Hollywood brigade. They were unprepared for the loss of their “lily-white” television, traditional gender roles and simple morality where everyone knew their place. They are not going to make that mistake again.

What Religion Wants From The Media



If Christian fundamentalists had their way could have their way, we’d all be watching “Christian films” and if Muslim fundamentalists had their way, we’d be watching "Muslim films".

Of course when artistic expression is dictated by religion it quickly becomes contrived, creatively unoriginal and uninspiring. It’s the reason why Renaissances happen! The human spirit simply cannot contain its need to engage in true, uncensored reflection or exploration of life in all its diverse, complex glory. Religious dictated art can never serve the imagination’s yearning to entertain all the billions of universal possibilities that exist in the future. Religious dictated art cannot risk being thought-provoking and open ended to allow for personal interpretation and spark debate.

For although that is purpose of art. It is not the purpose of religion. It never has been!

To illustrate, sometimes there moments when Hollywood actually gets it right! They come out swinging for environmental conservation; break down prejudices, crush gender and sexual stereotypes, convey profound messages against greed, violence, colonialism, fundamentalism, apathy, fear and encourage healthy skepticism, investigatory mind-set and creative thinking. Plus they do it with poignancy, sophistication in a way that is entertaining and most importantly age appropriate for the intended audience. Sometimes Hollywood gets it so right, the film is downright spiritual on a universal level.

So you think, wow, the religious critics must love this film!

Only to find out, they HATE it.

And you go, “What? I thought we were on the same page here?”

Well no, you’re not.

Join the ranks of those baffled by religious critique of Avatar as “evil promotion of paganism and the hippie Green movement”; American Beauty as “a blatant attack on traditional family values”, Crash as “morally suspect” and Happy Feet as "sneaky and dangerous message to children about society accepting homosexuality and young ones knowing better than their elders.”

When many of us see reviews like this, we are just as shocked to learn we were momentarily associated with the kind of loons who rant about Harry Potter being evil or declare fatwa on a Danish cartoonist.

What are we missing here?
What we are missing is knowledge the religious fundamentalist’s real motivations.



Even when Hollywood gets it right for you and me, the religious right is still outraged.

Christian and Muslim fundamentalists will naturally oppose ANY source that seeks to influence any opinions or behaviours that challenge or contradict their doctrines and dominance as the only, unchallenged, undisputed voice of authority. This is essential to having influence over a large population that can be mobilized to defend the socio-economic and political systems that best serves their organizational needs.

Therefore you can trust a fundamentalist Christian or Muslim to nix a film that has even the smallest iota of:

• Sympathetic or positive portrayal of non-Abrahamic/Judeo Christian beliefs, especially magic (Harry Potter), indigenous Shamanism (Avatar), Hinduism etc.
• Skepticism about religious doctrines (Da Vinci Code, Stigmata, Fitna)
• Positive portrayal of sexual relationship constructs outside what they believe to be the only right one- e.g. romance and sex between unmarried straight couples(Pretty Woman, Ghost, and thousands more)
• Tolerance, acceptance, understanding of those who do not fit their ideal of human sexuality (Philadelphia, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Laramie Project)
• Portraying women as self-determined, sexually liberated, vocal and proud and able to demand and enjoy good sex free of all male-dominated religious constructs (Sex And The City, Bridget Jonses Diary)
• Less than flattering portrayals of their preferred family construct- domestic abuse, unhappy, unfulfilled housewives, domineering, insensitive husbands, poor sex life, adultery, divorce etc. (American Beauty, The Hours, Revolutionary Road, The Stoning of Soraya M)
• Promoting defiance of authority, rejection of the status quo, tradition and elders not being always being right especially directed at youth (Footloose, Happy Feet)
• Any messages about embracing different cultures, accepting diversity, respecting foreign cultures especially directed at children (Rabbit Proof Fence, Little Princess)
• Negative portrayals of their religious organizations or communities, historical or present-day (Joan of Arc, The Kingdom, Deliver Us From Evil, Submission {a film about abuse of women in certain Islamic communities which cost the Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh his life at the hands of a Muslim extremist})
• Negative portrayals of the political/economic systems with which the religion enjoys a comfortable symbiosis (see my next blog post) (Bowling For Columbine, An Inconvenient Truth)
• Any promotion of earth-loving, hippie, one-love, universality where their religion enjoys no superiority over any other beliefs systems (Who Is God?)
• Shows a future world, fantasy world or our world where their religion plays no role (Too many films to count)

So while a film may pass your artistic, intellectual or even parenting standards it may not pass those of the religious fundamentalist. This is so obvious when it comes to one thing in particular…sex.

Sex, Hollywood And The Religious Right



Sex is the one thing Abrahamic-Judeo-Christian religions have always regulated with an iron fist. The artistic urge has also compelled us to explore this aspect of our human existence. Some of the first pictures we drew on rock walls were of the naked human form and sexual organs and similarly some of the first images to be captured by the earliest motion picture camera were the naked human form and sexual intercourse. The fascination has never stopped. Hollywood cannot portray enough of sex and it does so with no regard for what the religious status quo may prefer. Take homosexuality for example.

Remember that art reflects life. Our human societies have been given new insights about sexuality thanks to science which like Galileo proved, speaks the truth even if it contradicts what the various holy books and holy men say. Scientific research has revealed that homosexuality is not unnatural. Nature favours diversity in everything, including gender and sexuality. So it is actually unnatural to expect 7 billion individuals to have a uniform sexuality, uniform gender construct and unilateral form of sexual expression.



Those who are religiously proud are understandably offended and affronted because their views on homosexuality are being openly contradicted now that the findings of independent scientific and medical research and human rights activism changed what the mainstream knows to be true.

Science is now getting closer to confirming that sexual diversity is written into our genetic code. After extensive research, the medical community also agrees and their peer-reviewed studies have confirmed homosexuality is not a mental illness and gays and lesbians can be just as healthy, well-adjusted, contributing members of society in every way as straight people. However the biggest shift in thinking came from gays and lesbians coming out and speaking their truth no matter what condemnation they faced. By presenting a human face, they became harder to demonize as a result.

Just as it did interracial romance in times past with films like Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner and Star Trek (which scandalized the Southern Baptist Convention who sent hate mail in droves), Hollywood now pioneers positive portrayals of gays and lesbians. Those who are religiously proud are understandably offended and affronted because their views on the subject are being openly contradicted and no longer being presented as the absolute authority on the matter.

The religious right continues to expect the public to accept without proper scientific substantiation that they are the final authority on all matters concerning our sexuality.

Surprisingly, I fully support their right to air their grievances. Free speech, remember? What I do not support is that they do not use the same privilege of free speech that emboldens Hollywood, to prove to the public that their religious views on homosexuality are more valid and well-founded. Instead, the religious right’s first response is always advocacy of censorship with the assumption all should obey because they are the final authority on the matter. However, they are yet to properly substantiate this.

Judging What Is Truly Harmful To A Society

Many Christian critiques of Hollywood’s portrayal of sex only focus on, HOW NUDE were the couples and was it WAS IN KEEPING WITH OUR STANDARDS OF BIBLICAL SEXUAL MORALITY. A traditionalist Muslim most likely would share those concerns just (substitute Koran for bible) plus have an emphasized condemnation of any portrayals of female sexual satisfaction if they are the kind of Muslim that practices female genital mutilation.



Look I don’t care if you want to have Christian sex or Muslim sex and I don’t expect you to have sex informed by my spiritual outlook. That is none of my business. But the things that are far more universally important to society are my business. Ironically they are hardly ever the things religious fundamentalists focus on.

The rational, reasonable concerns we should have with Hollywood and its portrayals of sex and gender roles should transcend anyone’s particular religious beliefs and apply to all people universally.

For example, it is everyone’s business that every adult engages in CONSENSUAL SEX and only WITH ANOTHER ADULT. NO FORM OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE should ever be glamorized in film nor should UNSAFE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR as sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy are also everybody’s business. The proliferation of any UNFAIR, EXPLOITATIVE, OPPRESSIVE OR INHUMANE GENDER ROLES that robs men and women of their sexual self-esteem are also societal concerns. Growing up with constant INACCURATE portrayals of men automatically knowing the very first time, what a woman likes in bed can lead to so many unfair expectations and sexual problems in marriage which are the leading cause of divorce which often inhibit couples with children from parenting properly during and afterwards.

“Lot and his daughters” the “Holy Books” are rife with sexuality, including incest, rape, polygamy, mutilation and worse.

We should all want everyone to have fulfilling sex lives so they can be good contributors to society whether they are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, atheist. Thankfully we have more than enough knowledge through objective science and research to know what works best for the sexual health, happiness and well-being of men and women regardless of their personal faith-based beliefs.

Sex and human sexuality is a natural part of life. It even features prominently in “holy books” which require religious people to explain to children about incest, polygamy, adultery, forced marriages, attempted same-sex gang rape and worse but somehow cannot manage their children’s exposure to the slightest bit of sexuality in films that requires similar explanation of the context.

There is absolutely no need to throw a hissy fit about cinematic portrayals of nudity, homosexuality, or the sexual act itself. It is part of real life. Art reflects real life. The issue should be the intention. Does it serve a loftier purpose whether artistic, spiritual, educational (Romeo & Juliet, Blue Lagoon, Victor Victoria) or is it just for cheap thrills? The issue should be age appropriateness. How much sexual realism is okay for what age? Can the context be discussed and explained properly.

So when should you throw a hissy fit? Let me illustrate:

Today, we know from countless peer reviewed studies how important self-esteem is for young girls to help them make responsible and rewarding sexual choices.



A movie like Twilight where the female lead is weak-minded, aimless, self-absorbed and allows her life to be compromised literally all for a boy who is walking death, stalks her and wants to drink her blood, sends a dangerous message to young girls. Sure, in future films (based on the novel) the female protagonist waits till marriage to have sex, but it leaves her bruised and battered and pregnant with a baby that could kill her, which she insists on having regardless. What a wonderful message for young girls! Only a boy can add meaning to your otherwise empty life and your desperate teenage crush based purely on superficial attraction trumps your own self-preservation.



Now take a movie like Juno where the female lead is strong minded, intelligent, confident and actually has goals and talent but makes a common irresponsible mistake and gets pregnant out of wedlock. She handles it astutely by making lofty and shrewd choices, showing wit and spirit. She experiences a dramatic learning curve about love, life and trusting people, emerging stronger and wiser at the end.

Which movie do you think will contribute more to blind, love-sick, irresponsible sexual choices among teenage girls? For me and teen development experts and most discerning parents, it’s Twilight, not Juno.


Put your shame aside and be honest and open with your children about sex.

Religious film critics would have us measure every inch of exposed flesh. They want us to time the length of every teenage French kiss and meticulously scan fingers for wedding bands. I advise looking at movies through a more discerning lens. Do not judge based on your own sexual shame. That is not going to help your kids. It will only distract you from more important issues and more important values that influence our young people about sex and sexuality. It will only make you miss valuable opportunities to engage in meaningful dialogue with them about these issues.

If we truly got honest, empowered and enlightened about sex and were able to pass that on to our kids, religion would no longer be the final authority on the matter. That is what they truly fear.

Sex is not even the most important factor to me when it comes to Hollywood.

It’s violence.



Superfluous violence should outrage us with a passion that far exceeds our prudery!

Yet Christian and Muslim film reviewers excuse more violence than sex. It shows where people’s hang-ups truly are in our society. So no matter what, we could always use a little more serial killer slashers, renegade cops shooting out in the streets, people blowing up things and cinematic reenactments of passion plays whose original purpose was meant to incite Jewish hatred in ancient times. But more kissing and lovemaking? No thanks. Religious movie critics expect me to buy that nihilistic or gore filled violence just to sicken, shock and scare is less of a threat to young people and society than watching two men fall in love. Please.

Have we forgotten the tragic history of our humanity through the ages?

A buxom starlet in the throes of orgasm should delight us! She is doing something nature intended her to experience, something that does not violate the universal principle of “Do unto others”. A buxom starlet in the throes of gory agony at the hand of a sadistic killer is what should disgust us! Audiences watching it and laughing should outrage us. Have we no respect for the victims and families of the real life versions of these monsters? The gangsta lifestyle is not glamorous! Have we lost sight of the young lives snuffed out in the street and the mothers wailing with grief? War is not a fun adventure and good rollicking time! It is a tragedy.
When it comes to spilling the blood of another human being, it is never entertainment. It was wrong when the Romans did it in their coliseums. It is wrong now. I don’t have to overemphasize why it should concern us as a society regardless of religious belief.

The ugly truth is, the gory horror and violent action film industry serves the religious agenda very well. If we actually were to become peace-loving, they will have a harder time selling intolerance and violent condemnation to us.

Then again, if we human beings began to really sensitize ourselves to have a low tolerance for violence it would threaten the religious status quo. Read the Old Testament lately? Ever listened to a impassioned sermon about hell? Ever listen to the hate-filled vitriol of a radical Imam? How can you sell death and destruction in a religion if people have no stomach for it and no admiration for a God that sanctions it? How can you instill a fear of evil if you cannot constantly point to pointless blood soaked portrayals of it?

The ugly truth is, the gory horror and violent action film industry serves the religious agenda very well. They can always point to it and go, “See? Demons, demons everywhere! That’s why you need us to protect you!” And once we continue to stimulate that reptilian part of our brain with violent film, it makes it easier for them to stimulate it when they need us to put aside all compassion in order to hate and commit acts of violence in “Gods” name against those who threaten their supremacy.

In the 1940s, a boy would gaze in wonder at in his comic book or movie screen or a Jules Verne novel as he saw science fictional tales of space travel, robots, hand held computer devices, super cars and brain scanners. Today, all of these things are reality. What we imagine we can make real. We self-fulfill our fantasies. Today’s science fiction is tomorrow’s reality. So does it not behoove us to have uplifting film portraits of the future of our earth and human society? They can still be filled with complexity, conflict and challenges but we should be learning more advanced lessons that evolve us further and faster as a species (Minority Report, Bicentennial Man). The last thing we want is for the films portraying a zombie-filled, violent, hopeless, pointless future where global apocalypse is inevitable to actually come to pass. And yes, they all could…easily.

If we really care about our evolution as a species away from the primitive, fear-driven animal to towards enlightened beings, the only violence we should ever tolerate in film should be:

Mythical/Symbolic- only to demonstrate the universal struggle of good versus evil and executed with an emphasis on the tragedy of war; forgiveness trumping revenge and violence always being the least preferred, least noble solution (Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Spiderman)



Historical/Documentary- so we never forget and never make the same mistakes again (The Pianist, Hotel Rwanda)

Farcical/Blatantly Ridiculous- Obviously for laughs, the characters remain unhurt despite it (The Jerk, Bruce Almighty, Finding Nemo)

Hollywood is not the total saint.



It often foregoes excellent cinema for the sake of easy money through focus-group inspired, condescending drivel, what I call “junk films” based on the same formula as junk food. It needs to pay more attention to age appropriate entertainment and stop promoting sexuality among little girls way too early. It must address the superficiality which breeds insecurity about body image in both men and women. It needs to tackle over-reliance on sex for the sake of cheap thrills and not true artistic poignancy. It must take a long hard difficult look at any continued glamorization of violence, irresponsible drug abuse, non-consensual sex and harmful racial, gender and sexual stereotypes.

However religion is not the total saint either (we’ll save that for the next blog)

The fact is they are both simply two competing forms of “show-business”.
And you know how ruthless “show business” can be to ensure it has a captive and compliant audience.

There is all that soul-sucking, in-humane, greedy power-hungry, and unenlightened bullshit. However in all fairness amidst all that grime there are also breakthrough concepts, true creative genius, lofty collaboration, humanitarian intentions and yes sometimes even meaningful spirituality that advances us forward as a species. However it requires you to look at both religion and the world of art, media and film with a more discerning eye. Most of all, abandon the thinking that any form of “show-business” is the absolute authority on anything.