October 28, 2005


Do you have to brace yourself?
As you feel the sick tension rising?
The hairs on your back standing on end
The fists clench in disgusted anticipation
You bristle preparedly
Jaw tight
Eyes blank but harsh
And why?

Ruff neck posse of men approaching
Contstruction workers at 3 o’clock

Oh God let me be invisible
Let me pass quietly like a baby’s gentle fart
Let my tits shrivel up into my chest
Let my lips become a hard line
Let me hunch over like a grandmother
Let my ass fall off and lie bloated like roadkill
And why?

Hungry eyed men on my block, waiting
Old men leechers at 12 o’clock

They devour my body with yellowey eyes
Tongues slimy on bulbous black lips
Snake-like hisses and sucking wet body noises
Callous hands grabbing their smelly crotches
Necks craning into my personal space
Trying to penetrate my shield of protection
Trying to avert my straight-ahead dead stare
Trying to verbally rape me
And why?

I am female
I am black
I am forever to be made a victim because of it
By my own black brothers, who undress those they cannot possess
Black men who refuse to allow a woman to feel an iota of pride
Because it would make them feel impotent inside
Because all they have is a mouth, muscle and cock and little else to offer
And the only way to feed the aching hunger is to tear down another
And why?

©Jessica Joseph

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