Prudes please stay clear!
On this World Aids Day, I want us all to take a deep look at our sexuality within our Caribbean society, which is the product of contradiction. Our societal sexuality is the product of colonial oppression and forced Judeo/Christian values (now embraced and melded with our African sensibilities) that tore us away from our indigenous understanding of sexuality. Our ancestors’ family units were torn apart through slavery yet at the same time, marriage was preached to them as the Godly ideal. Even while chastity was delivered though Christianity, white slave masters cheated on their wives with slave women. Even while we adopted a male-only God, our Mama Oshun and other female deities and their sexual spiritual power continued to rumble beneath the surface of our seeming assimilation.
At the Queen’s Hall Children’s Concert for Queen Elizabeth II and a host of specially invited CHOGM guests, a Tobagonian choir actually sang a local folksong that goes: ’She mammie send she for water, a damn nigger man come feel up she noonie’. This is how institutionalized sexual exploitation of children has become in our country.
Is it any wonder post colonial societies are so sexually dysfunctional? We are sensual yet so hypocritical; we are lewd yet judgmental; pious yet promiscuous. It is a fertile breeding ground for predators of children who can easily hide and thrive under a veil of normalcy. It is a welcoming Petri- dish for HIV and all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases to flourish amidst our prejudices and denial. Gay men marry women and have sex with men on the down low. Lesbians fake orgasms with their husbands and have secret affairs with their best girlfriends. A disproportionate number of domestic violence cases ending in death exist in our countries of men who believe they “own” the woman for life. Sexual harassment is commonplace, even of teenage girls wearing their school uniforms. At the Queen’s Hall Children’s Concert for Queen Elizabeth II and a host of specially invited guests, a Tobagonian choir had the gall to sing a local folksong that goes: ’She mammie send she for water, a damn nigger man come feel up she noonie’. This is how institutionalized sexual exploitation of children has become. We shout from the pulpits yet according to Google, Trinibagonians rank No.1 in online searches for porn. Something is fundamentally wrong with the structure of our sexuality and it is high time we admit it and seek to change it.
In Part One of this exploration, we examined mankind’s shift in sexuality from pleasure to procreation as we became obsessed with empire-building. In Part Two, we learned about the four cardinal elements of sexuality; (1) Magnetism, the biological lust urge, defined by sexual chemistry based on appearance, hormones, pheromones, ego and status (2) Attraction, the intellectual spiritual bond forged on surrender to the Divine in the other, thus completing one’s own soul (3) The Masculine (God/Yang) Energy and (4 The Feminine (Goddess/Yin) Energy. We learned about twin souls (gay, lesbian and transgendered) and their role in using Attraction as the creative and spiritual power by which everyone can experience beauty, joy, enlightenment, romance and pleasure. Now we shall identify some specific sexual dysfunctions caused by procreation/Magnetism (male only) overemphasis and seek to remedy it. Let’s jump right in with:
Dysfunction 1 - Overvaluation Of Virginity
The average age of marriage is 28. That means FIFTEEN years or more of strict celibacy is being asked of young people from the time they sexually mature at 13, during the most hormone-ridden time of their lives. We expect young people to pull off a feat less than 95% of us were able to do ourselves, and when they fail, we cry, “Shame! Shame! Shame!”
When puberty hit us, we entered a fumbling ordeal of trial and error while deciphering a seeming never-ending code of misinformation and hypocrisies. Then to make matters worse, there was a blatant gender-related double standard. Girls were obligated to be “good” about sexual things at risk of being a slut. Meanwhile the boys were obligated to prove their machismo and heterosexuality by being “bad”. It was at this time, a mammoth obligation was foisted upon our shoulders to stay absolutely celibate until marriage, which back then seemed like a far-off prospect. Indeed it is, for the average age of marriage is 28. That means FIFTEEN years or more of strict celibacy was being asked of us from the moment we started to sexually mature at 13. For some of us, the prohibitions also included any kind of bodily contact whether solo or with another that resulted in belly flip flops, arousal, stimulation and/or orgasm/ejaculation.
Even in our teenage years, our basic human instincts railed against what we were being taught. We saw amongst our family, friends and neighbours that the vast majority of people were unable to stick to any kind of regime of celibacy. In fact, not even prominent religious figures were able to manage such a feat as numerous scandals have revealed. Juxtaposed against this quest for purity were the clarion calls of romance in novels, films and love songs that stirred our hearts and stoked the fires of our first crushes. The blatant, primal sexuality of our wine, jam and juk culture inflamed our senses. Yet somehow, we had to squash our sexuality during a period when we were experiencing the most out of control sexual urges of our lives. Young men 18-25, in particular were at their sexual peak.
And what kind of support was being offered to aid us in this colossal feat of chastity? For most of us encouragement came in the form of religious guilt and scare tactics while the adults clearly said,“Do as I say and not as I do.”
Teenagers with extracurricular activities that boost self-esteem and confidence tend t o delay premature sexual activity. But many in the Caribbean do not have this kind of support system.
Some teenagers were lucky enough to have sufficient role models and character building activities within their domestic and/or social environment. Their lives were filled with successful accomplishment of academic goals, nurtured talents, facilitation of hobbies and wholesome life experiences to boost their self-esteem. This is crucial to delaying their decision to have sex for all the wrong reasons. But the vast majority of young people in the Caribbean do not have this kind support system. Many are part of the 1 in 3 statistic subjected to incest and child molestation and/or that 2 in 3 statistic from emotionally or physically abusive or malnourished households, making them psychologically predisposed to premature sexual activity. Fear of Divine punishment or family scandal cannot withstand the pull of pleasure and bonding with the Romeo or Juliet of their life forever. If that person is someone who gives the young person a feeling of love, value and emotional or material security, the parents and teachers fail to provide, then forget it! They are having sex no matter what!
The Solution- Teach A Holistic Approach To Sex From Early
Am I suggesting teens should be free to have sex whenever and however they want? No I am not. Dealing with the complications, expense and emotional ramifications of the procreative (Magnetic) aspect of sex is something for which the vast majority of teenagers are not prepared even if the biological pull is the strongest at this point. Sex is more than just a biological process. It is a human, emotional and spiritual aspect of our lives best taught to children by their parents.
Our approach to sex education has been to either (1) Make it entirely religious/moral or (2) Make it entirely biological clinical/contraceptive based. We prepare teens logistically for sex but not emotionally or spiritually. We also turn sex and celibacy into some kind of exaggerated, unrealistic religious covenant. Both are dysfunctional and in most cases motivated by fear, shame and dishonesty.
We should instead begin to elucidate our young people on the (Attraction) based aspects of sex as soon as the issue arises. Before condoms are even discussed, the first thing any sex education by parents or teachers should start with is what is: Love of Self, Personal Space and Self-respect. Then we need to begin enlightening them about true love and commitment. If we do not tell our young people HOW to identify these things, then of course, they are going to go strictly on their Magnetic urges for cues later on. Special attention should be paid to the young people impacted by abuse and emotional neglect and ensuring young people who are twin souls (gay, lesbian, transgendered) have access to objective information that builds their self-esteem. These two groups in particular are the ones crying out for love and attention and vulnerable to premature sexual relationships.
A suggested guide to holistic sexual education is:
Deal with their innocent self-stimulation in a discreet way, free from shame. Gradually introduce the concept of “privacy” for certain activities. As soon as they begin to form vocabulary about their body parts include: penis, testicles, vagina, vulva with as equal nonchalance as you give to arms, fingers, eye, and nose.
“Mummy, what are the doggies doing?!” You cannot hide your children from the sexuality all around us. So are you ready to answer without shame?
Prepare them for the realities out there! Teach them how to be cautious around strangers, which parts of the body are OFF LIMITS and to whom, that it is okay to tell on another adult or child who makes them feel uncomfortable or touches their private parts. Around 5 and 6, they may start asking about where babies come from, especially if pregnancy or birth is happening in the family. Explain it like you would where rain comes from, without shame. Make sure to emphasize the need for love, commitment and maturity as the VITAL ingredient for adults who want to make babies. Draw on examples the child can relate to:
Parent: See how the mother birds and daddy birds have to work extra hard to hatch their eggs, then feed and protect their chick? Well that is why only grown-ups like Mummy and Daddy should have babies. We truly love each other and we are strong enough and have enough money to give our little chicks like you a home, clothes and protect you.
Unbidden exposure to sexuality WILL happen; kids will see adults kissing, dancing suggestively, animals mating or they may see relatives, neighbours who act atypical to the gender stereotypes to which they are accustomed. Worse yet, their school friends, cousins, neighbourhood playmates may expose them to unhealthy sexual information. When they ask questions, again, NO SHAME! For example:
Child: Mommy why was Uncle Tom rubbing up on Auntie Tina like that at the wedding?
Parent: Well, sometimes adults like to dance very close together because it feels nice but it is not appropriate to do in front of children.
How easy was that? Kids are surprisingly perceptive and content when you give them honest answers. When you look uncomfortable, lie or skirt about the issue, they can tell immediately and you are making it more of a big deal to them than it has to be. Another example:
Child: Mommy why was that man at the beauty salon (forgive the stereotype but it is typical in T&T) acting so girly?
Parent: Well, some men have more womanly spirit in them and some women have more manly spirit in them. This world is full of all kinds of people and we should always treat everyone with respect.
See? Even if you do not agree with homosexuality for personal religious reasons, this answer can still apply, for all religions teach some form of the Golden Rule. It will also determine if the door of communication will remain open if your child turns out to be gay. The last thing you want to do is alienate your child with your homophobia or religious disapproval.
Here is one that is extremely difficult for many parents: The dreaded child walks in on you whilst you were having sex.
Child: Daddy what were you and Mommy doing?
Parent: We were making love. When two adults are married and/or in love they like to kiss and get close to each other to make each other feel good. It is a private thing. Remember what we learned about private things? So always remember to knock before you come into our bedroom.
Throughout this period of the child’s life, keep on exposing them and sharing with them the importance of Privacy, Self-Respect and True Love. Show them examples of what true love is and is not. Hopefully, your marriage or relationship is their best example of true love.
Prepare your child for puberty! Now is the time to go into detail about sex, pregnancy, menstruation, erections, ejaculations, masturbation and contraception. Once again, NO SHAME and NO FEAR please! The reason not to have intercourse is not because it “Will make God mad!” or “You will get AIDS and die!” or “You will get pregnant and be considered a slut!” or “I will kick you out of the house!”
Most indigenous cultures allow unmarried teens and young adults the freedom of sexual play; single & mutual masturbation, kissing, oral sex. They are at least realistic that some pressure must be released in order to develop a healthy sexuality while keeping intercourse in the domain of a sanctioned union where any children can be taken care of. Some indigenous cultures like a tribe in Guam that discourages virginity before marriage, valuing sexual experience over naiveté in a bride to be. We are so far removed from any pragmatism when it comes to sex that when Dr. Jocelyn Elders recommended masturbation be taught as an alternative to premarital sex, the righteous outrage cost the very first female, African American, Clinton appointed Surgeon General her job.
The reason is simple. Sex and true, committed love should ideally go hand in hand. This will not be “news” to your child because you have already set the tone since they were 4 years old. Let them know that right now is their time to learn how to become mature enough to truly love someone. Let them know that right now is their time to learn about themselves. Until they do, it is best they avoid the complication of sex. Do not just say this…support this! Support it by filling their every single moment with life-affirming activities and social activities that build their confidence, self-awareness and discernment about relationships.
Do not shame or punish your teenager for masturbation! It will result in shame-based sexual dysfunction and needless obsession over their erections and arousals which will be frequent. If you have a teenage son, teach him to have respect for women by steering him towards Attraction despite his current Magnetic focus on pretty faces, breasts, butts and pubic areas. Educate him on how to truly show appreciation and respect for a girl and what truly makes a girl worth his while; her values, her intelligence, her talents, her compassion, her courage. Help him now to be able to see the God in a woman. If you do not balance his Magnetism with intellect and emotional maturity, he will become a complete asshole of a tool, sexually harassing or lusting and chasing every pair of T&A that tickles his fancy. The same applies for your teenage daughter. Their emotional maturity makes it easier for them to see the Goddess in men. The challenge is getting them to see the God in themselves and be self-determining, strong and smart, even if it means being unpopular.
Your goal is not to stop your teen boy from masturbating but to help them to understand Magnetism is just lust and there is much more to girls than T&A so that their sexuality is not based only in objectification of women. Now is the time to make them capable of Attraction and able to recognise the God in a woman
The law says they are ready to have sex. However, that does not mean they actually are. Do you know how many teenage girls would have given ANYTHING if their mothers, older sisters, cousins or SOME ONE told them honestly:
“Honey, my first time like many women’s first time was with a boy I thought really loved me. He made a BIG DEAL out of doing it. In the end it was just 2 painful minutes for me. He enjoyed himself though. Not only that, somehow, everyone found out. And he was getting congratulated for it while I was being called a slut. Boys your age are very immature. Trust me, when you have sex for the first time, you will want it to be with a man who truly understands what women want, considers your feelings and treats it like something meaningful.”
What makes love TRUE, MEANINGUL and COMMITTED is what you should re-double your focus on right now because your teenager will be falling in love for the first time and falling HARD. Trust me, 99% of the time the love they pine over (like Bella Swan for Edward Cullen Twilight) will be based on animal Magnetism, not a true spiritual/emotional Attraction. Most teenagers are no match for the pheromones and hormones which delude them into thinking it is indeed TRUE love. If you have enlightened your teenager since childhood about the superiority of Attraction, they will be able to quickly identify and dispel the biological illusion of Magnetism for exactly what it is. Questions they will ask are:
Why exactly do I like this boy/girl?
If it's because "He's sooooo cute!" or "She's soooo hot!" or "He's soooo talented and popular!" or "He complemented me on my hair!" or "Some unknown chemistry just clicked between us,"- THAT'S MAGNETISM.
Does liking this boy/girl make me a better person?
How has liking this person affected your self-esteem, life goals, schoolwork, personality, happiness and peace of mind? Is pursuing their love making you compromise on your values or pretend to be something you are not or putting you at risk in anyway?- THAT'S MAGNETISM
Does this boy/girl care to know who I really am and wants to accept, learn and grow with me or are they just looking to hook up?
If you have not raised your teenager well enough to be able to think, discern and tell the difference between Magnetism and Attraction; if they are insecure, weak-minded and have nothing else to occupy their time,if they have been abused in any way growing up, THEY WILL HAVE SEX BEFORE THEY ARE TRULY READY OR IN A RELATIONSHIP MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE THE RAMIFICATIONS. No ifs, ands and butts! That is JUST HOW IT IS! The first person to ignite their Magnetic fire and make them feel warm and fuzzy is the first person with whom they will sex.
If you have not been able to help them emotionally and spiritually at this point, then PLEASE you better hope you prepared them practically at least! Make sure they have accurate safer sex information.I know a mom who risked massive criticism from her friends and family for putting her 16 year old daughter on the Pill and making condoms available. She said,
"You all can condemn all you want. I KNOW my daughter! She did not have the best emotional support growing up because of our divorce. I have observed her interactions with the opposite sex. She is hungry for male attention. Yes, I am trying to work on it but while I do, I am taking EVERY PRECAUTION!"
How well do you know your child? Are you really seeing them clearly?
Out of all the young people who started puberty with me, friends, cousins, neighbours, former church acquaintances, I can only name a handful that lived up to the Olympian Strict Celibacy Until Marriage Challenge…as far as we know. You see, an outward appearance of “respectability “ is all anyone can ever really judge until a belly swells or a sex tape is released.
What if your teenager drops out of the virginity endurance race and has sex despite all your efforts? Understand that it was not based in vile, evil lust but a perfectly understandable and inevitable human inclination. There is no good served by mocking, shaming and punishing them for not being able to do what over 95% of us also could not, it is just cruel and hypocritical! The “shaming” of young people who cannot live up to the mammoth task of celibacy was something I was very familiar with as well in my old church. Despite all the preaching, teen pregnancy was rampant as were shot-gun marriages. When I was sixteen years old, one of my school friends at Naps was suspended from school, the reason? One weekend, she had sex with her boyfriend and somehow by a chain of unfortunate, typical Trini macocious events, the principal found out.
Having a hymen till marriage does not increase your value as a human being. It does not make you more moral, compassionate, intelligent, and worthwhile or better at love and relationships or at life. Not having one does not make a woman “damaged goods”. Treating teenagers who have sex as damaged goods is part of the problem, not the solution.
One by one, all her friends, me included were brought in for a kind of Gestapo-like “questioning”. Turns out, her parents knew all about her boyfriend and really did not care all that much except that she was responsible about it and used birth control. Her suspension, served absolutely no purpose to anyone except to reinforce the school’s particular brand of Presbyterian sanctimoniousness. That same girl went on to get eight distinctions at O’Levels. Still, the school would not have her back (just to prove a point) for A’Levels. Luckily, she was awarded a full scholarship elsewhere and is now a successful, married career woman. She is a living example that having a hymen till marriage does not increase your value as a human being. It does not make you more moral, compassionate, intelligent, and worthwhile or better at love and relationships or at life. Not having one does not make a woman “damaged goods”.
Treating teenagers who have sex as damaged goods is part of the problem, not the solution. The solution lies in being honest about our own sexual history with our children. Share our regrets and our rewards. When they decide to have sex, being safe and responsible about it should be natural because it stems from their self-love and commitment to their long-term goals in life.
The Abstinence Only Movement is experiencing causality after casualty in unwanted pregnancies, STIs and premature marriages. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that nearly half of the nation's new cases of STDs each year occur among adolescents and young adults. A recent study found that teens who took pledges of virginity as part of abstinence-only sex ed classes ultimately still had sex at the same average age outside of marriage except that their STD rates were higher to other young people because they were less likely to use contraception or other forms of protection when they “slipped up” and became sexually active.
Dysfunction 2- Fear Of Female Freedom
The Feminist Movement rightfully challenged the patriarchal/procreative construct based on Magnetism (male only). Although some men and women have seized this opportunity to redefine their self-identity and their approach to love and sex, many men and women are feeling displaced because of it, particularly those within the Afro-Caribbean and Indo-Caribbean communities. One of the things confounding our society is women asserting their previously suppressed Magnetism prerogative to enjoy sex, seek sex and have sex with whomever they choose in the manner they like best.
Among the many negative comments made about the Miss T&T Sex Tape (which I still have not seen nor have any interest in seeing) was that it was just raw sex. A well known local fashion photographer told me that if the sex was sweet and romantic, perhaps people would have given her a break. It was the fact their “sweet-heart and national beauty and feminine ideal” was simply…fucking that threw people for a loop. The ill-advised decision to film it aside, if that is what Anya likes, it does not make her that unusual. But for many, “certain” women aren’t supposed to just want to get their pussy pounded, especially those of a certain class who appear in the social pages of the newspapers. They are supposed to have DH Lawrence romance novel sex where their entire pleasure comes from delicate acquiescing to their man’s superior need and Almighty organ, after the proper lady-like protestations. Yeah, right.
Once women began questioning everything men taught them about themselves, it was only a matter of time they re-discovered their clitoris and learned it outstrips the penis as far as pleasure goes. The clitoris contains eight times the pleasure nerve endings of the entire penis (shaft and glands) and it is the ONLY appendage on the human body with the solitary purpose of pleasure. It stands in proud defiance to any attempt to claim that sex is predominantly about procreation and/or even a penis. The female capacity for pleasure in fact contradicts the procreation/patriarchal construct entirely, which is why Judeo/Christian and Islamic societies worked so hard to destroy it.
A sexually aware woman sends many men running for cover!
While some men welcome this change (having secretly longed for lascivious, unabashed and sexually confident women as equal partners) many men do not know what to do with a sexually aware woman, just as they do not know what to do with a financially secure woman. That is because their entire self-esteem is based on the primitive Magnetic values and the socio/religious construct that supported their male ego and dominance. All they know is: Provide/pay to own a woman and get sex and love. Get status to own a woman in order to get sex and love. Be a hero to own a woman to get sex and love. When this formula fails to work, either because the woman they desire remains unimpressed or looses interest or the man is unable to keep the financial and social status end of the deal, what do you think will happen? How are they going to expend all this pent up testosterone? The answer is…violently. The skyrocketing rapes in South Africa and the blooming terrorism among young Muslim men are two examples of how the frustration is channeled.
Solution 2- Shift To Attraction
I do not want a “help-mate” or a ‘maid” to “take care of me”. I do not need someone to rule over and obey me to satisfy my personal ego. I do not want someone who values me for my money and ability to provide for them. I would truly love to have a friend, lover and fellow adventurer by my side. I would truly love to have the chance to be brave and risk one person knowing me better than anyone else, even my darkest secrets. I would love if we both could be each other’s witnesses, sounding-boards, support systems on our quest for perfection of our souls.
A successful, career woman-friend of mine in her late forties, divorced for fifteen years with a rocking gym sculpted body was being pursued by a man relentlessly for a whole year. In his frustration over her continued lack of interest he said,
“You know what your problem is? You think all men bad! Just because one treat you bad, you think all will treat you so!”
To which my friend replied.
“Of course I know there are good men out there. If indeed you are one, then you should be able to answer me this. Why exactly should I go down this road again and with you in particular? I have a wonderful career, a home, car; child in college, great family, friends, social life, vacations abroad and an assortment of vibrators at home, every size, shape and power setting. I don’t have to worry about jealousy, infidelity, STDs, pregnancy and I can still cum seven times in one night. I have time to dedicate to my spiritual and charitable works. I love my life! Even if I find you sexually attractive, tell me, what is it that you bring to the table that is so fantastic that I should put my heart, health and peace of mind on the line?”
The man like a lot of Caribbean men had no answer to this, except to feel threatened. This is very telling. So men, what do you bring to the table other than a penis and money? Is your solution to the challenge presented by financially independent, sexually aware women to push society return to the “good old days” of your mother ‘s time when women, “knew their place”? Or, to go after less educated, younger (hence less self-assured) women who will depend on you for money, validation, self-esteem and happily fill the role of sycophant, sex-slave, mother and maid?
Guys, if you can be easily replaced or substituted by a sex toy and a healthy bank account, then it is time to take a serious look at how you value yourself. Are you just a meal ticket and a tool?
If this man were a little more aware of the holistic value of sexuality and relationships he could have been able to floor her with his answer. Perhaps if he had a lesbian pal, she would have been able to tell him how to approach a successful, self-assured woman, which would be:
“I know you are capable, successful and a great mother, in fact, that is what I admire about you. You go for what you want in life. You value yourself, that’s why you enjoy giving yourself pleasure. And now that I know well, I must confess that is a big turn on! You see, I am not seeking to fill some hole in your life literally or figuratively. I am not seeking to make you my other half or my helpmate either. Like you, I am also seeking pleasure, happiness and soul fulfillment. I just think it would be wonderful to have a friend, a lover, a witness to this adventure and I feel drawn to you because I just have a feeling, one of those indefinable gut feelings that makes me want to risk letting you be the one person who gets to know me inside and out, every flaw, every weakness. Trust me, the kind of love, passion and intimacy I have in mind isn’t for novices or wimps. I am hoping you prove my suspicions right and you are neither. So, are you game? ”
Now, if that delivered with cool, seductive voice does not make her knees knock and her panties creamed, well maybe she is a cold man-hating fish.
Everything now is pushing men and women towards soul fulfillment and away from mere biological function and the superficial constructs we have built around it. The dismantling of our preconceived gender roles is a good thing. Not just for us, but the planet which is already straining to sustain our present population. Embrace this new era. It is high time we learn exactly what women and men truly are when they are unfettered by our preconceived notions. It is one step closer to discovering the Divine ideal.
Dysfunction 3- Disease
Health of our bodies, minds and planet is tied to balance. Balance is the harmony of the polarity in the Universe that affects everything. There is negative and positive. There is emerging and submerging. There is masculine and feminine. Nothing exists without a complement or feedback that promotes change and motion. Up cannot exist unless contrasted with a down. Light cannot exist without the contrast of dark. Obviously this is a vital Law within The Supreme One’s cosmos but some religious cultures have chosen to recognise only one side of the complement, namely the emerging, active, expanding, masculine side. They ignore the fact that God is both the Alpha and the Omega. Therefore they push towards the end without fully appreciating their beginning.
The Alpha feminine is very important in ensuring the masculine Omega is rooted in the solidity and awareness of its being. If we create and seek to expand without a solid rooting in the Mother, we will destroy ourselves and become like a virus that replicates until every life system is utterly spent, then quickly dies. Embracing the Mother often means embracing and understanding things that are primal and instead of fearing it, things like- sexual desire, aggression, death. The more we can free ourselves of fear of these foundational aspects of life, the more power we will wield over our earthly existence. Fear and demonization of the feminine aspect of course, led to a halt in creation in balance with nature. Man plundered the earth and engaged in raping and ravaging the planet with no valid substantiation, thus awakening the negative feedback signal in organisms like retro-viruses, most of which existed harmoniously all around us until we upset the balance. So why are we surprised that we are stalked by a deadly sexually transmitted disease called HIV/AIDS when our sexuality is the epitome of imbalance, of the Yin/Yang?
Solution 3: Learn The Hard Lesson HIV/AIDS Is Trying To Teach
We only need to look at who the virus has hit the hardest to see what Mother is trying to tell us in order to overcome the imbalance that led to this epidemic. It is crystal clear that this disease affects those most oppressed by patriarchal/procreative construct namely, women, twin souls and the descendents of slaves or ravaged countries used to further Judeo/Christian and Islamic empire. Are we truly listening to what the disease is saying to us? It is not that those most affected; women, men with Goddess energy and societies still closely connected to the Mother culturally and religiously are evil or wrong but that we have been evil and wrong towards them.
Women worldwide have the fastest rate of HIV infection.
The same Universal balance also demands that there is no negative without a positive. This means that despite its grave toll on humanity, HIV/Aids has a positive side, if we truly listen to what the disease it saying to us. If HIV/Aids could speak to us as clearly as I am speaking now it would probably say,
“I am responding to your clear message to the Universe that you do not want the equal Feminine energy in your life. I am here to give you a taste of your wish. See what it is like having your women and twin souls die off! See what it is like having the African cradle of civilization, the symbolic Mother of the planet become ravaged by me! I am designed to tap into the areas weakened by your patriarchal society and the more prejudiced and hypocritical you get, the more powerful I get, to challenge you to WAKE UP!”
Because of HIV/AIDS, gays would find a strength they did not know they had individually, communally and politically.
“Yet I am not here to destroy you completely. I am after all your creation. You attracted this bitter medicine and I am only as bitter as you make me. For this is the way of the Universe, nothing is 100% evil. The Law of Polarity forbids it. Some are already getting better because of me. For example, in the early days, others thought I was Divine punishment on gay people. I admit, gay men were easy hosts. Not because they were gay but because they had reacted to prejudice, violence, ignorance and persecution by being secretive, self-loathing and self-destructively devoid of their true spiritual purpose. Hey, I am a virus! It is only natural that I am drawn to a body debilitated by shame and self-destructive habits."
"Yet because of me, gays would find a strength they did not know they had individually, communally and politically. I helped them to emerge from secrecy and shame and embrace their twin soul power, choosing spirituality, health, community, charity, family, happiness and self-acceptance more and more. Their response would inspire others and clearly expose those with heartless motives behind their façade of religious morality who secretly wanted gay people punished not in the uncertain afterlife but now, so they can gloat and increase their popularity through fear-mongering.”
Trojan- Evolve Ad Campaign, paints men who do not wear condoms as pigs. I find this a poignant example of the evolution away from animal-like sex into enlightened human, pleasure-based sex.
“I’m re-teaching the heterosexuals too. They have been procreation-crazy for far too long. Now they are being made to clearly demarcate sex for pleasure and sex for procreation because procreative sex is now a matter of life and death. Ha! Not even the Pope can continue to advocate against safer sex without seeming callous, “out of touch” and alienating more and more people who face the reality of me every day. I am making more and more women enter relationships with men cautiously and with more control. This is forcing them to be single and self-sufficient, awakening their God energy. I am making men… think outside the box…pun intended. I am here to expose the disaster of your double standards of enforcing female virginity and sexual fidelity while allowing men to have more social and religious leeway to do as they please both in and out of marriage. Now they will lose their sisters to me because of their hypocrisy!”
“I am HIV/AIDS and I am the Mother’s answer to your imbalanced patriarchal societies. I am here to remind you that you cannot ignore Her! After all, HIV is not spread through air or water but sexual contact, a part of human life all the major religions have regulated with an iron fist for thousands of years, thereby shaping the present gender roles and sexual culture. They have helped to create the perfect breeding ground for me! Yet you continue to look to them for answers to fight me. Don’t you get it do you! Your spiritual life should not only help you cultivate a sense of purpose in the universe but it should also work towards self-improvement, self-actualization and personal responsibility and empowerment. It should not keep you vulnerable, unbalanced and unhealthy. You cannot fight me with the same tools that created me and continue to make me stronger.”
“I am not here to destroy you completely. I am after all your self-created bitter pill and I am only as bitter as you make me. The faster you learn what I am here to teach you, the less painful your lesson will be,”
“Are you willing to empower women and boost female self esteem and independence? Are you prepared to tell men they are not automatically the “head” of anything or anyone just because they have a penis? Are you eager to tear down the walls of the closet? Will you vow to encourage parents to stop casting out and isolating their gay children leaving them vulnerable and at risk? Do you have the guts to promote honest and holistic dialogue with young people about sex, sexuality and contraception? Do you? If not, my reign over you has only just begun! Think about it, this World Aids Day!”