It would be easy to blame my work for this long absence from the Bloggershere but that would not be entirely honest. It's not that I wasn't a bit brain-fried and running on caffeine and adreneline. I was.
The reason I was however, is what was most important. Constantly going meant not having time to stop and check myself in all the areas that need checking.
But as of now, I am off the coffee/insomnia/sleeping pill spin cycle! Weaning myself off caffeine was a roller coaster of fun for all! Headaches, low energy, irritability, constipation ah yes, good times. I do not recommend it for anyone who does not have an understanding significant other and boss.
As the dizziness of the spin cycle subsided, a new state of clarity emboldened me to enter into a Fight Championship.
It’s an annual event at a Fight Club reserved for those of us who dare to confront our shit and once again, more roller-coaster fun for the whole family.
First Match: You vs. the world. You win that one essentially by shutting out the world and taking some to focus on yourself while trusting that "the world" will take care of itself and fall into place when you get your shit in order. Do that and you advance to the...
Second Match: You vs. the people you love/ed most in the world. That one always ends in a comforting stalemate of unconditional love, if you lucky and have the right people in your life. They are the kind who only provoke you because they unintentionally smoothng away your rough edges and the friction does burn sometimes.
Get through that and then it's the grand finale!
Championship Fight: You vs. Yourself. What you get out of this bout. Well, if you win, a whole lot of forgiving, asking for forgiveness, remembering to love yourself and love others and let others love you.
I real bloodied and bruise up yet somehow it was worth it. I can write without feeling like I bullshitting.
4 comments:
Welcome back to the rest of the world!
What exactly is this fight club? It sounds like a worthwhile challenge...
Ah! The Fight Club. Where you get to duke it out with yourself.
Membership is easy. Simply decide:
1. To take personal responsibility for your life and try to live with awareness of your thoughts, actions and how they affect others
2. To keep walking on a path towards greater enlightenment and evolution of your being.
Do that and you will automatically become a member of this Fight Club. I guarantee that every once in a while, you will need to retreat, find somewhere quiet and give yourself a good, long scrutiny and if there is anything you do not like, *Ding* *Ding* *Ding* commence the fight!
Ah, this is something that I do strive for, much more lately. The somewhere quiet will have to wait a bit though, as I have an 8 month old daughter!
Congrats on the little one!
I am in awe of mothers and motherhood. What a gift to be given- to be the first teacher, spiritual guide of a brand new human soul.
Enjoy the journey.
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